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(Reposting this here, because the version I posted on the DCMBs got turned into a certain someone's own little vendetta thread.) What are the lines, plot devices, situations put in a comic, or fan posts, that just made you think "WTF?!?"? For me, it was reading so-called "spoilers" for JSA arcs where the poster leaked that Captain Marvel was either tricked or forced into yelling "SHAZAM!" in the middle of a battle.  Next!
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Chris Bachalo's art in Ultimate War. I had to stare at every panel just to see what he was trying to draw.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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The concept of allowing Chris Claremont to write the X-MEN again.
The return of Hal Jordan.
The constant relaunching of titles with bad names. "New" Avengers anyone?
Chris Claremont and Josh Whedon bringing Rachel Summers, Magneto, and spandex back in X-MEN.
The fact that Joe Quesada still has a job.
Everything Jeph Loeb writes.
Chris Claremont.
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Mike Carey wrote the very good Vertigo one-shot, The Furies, with the old Infinity Inc character Lyta Hall receiving some very good treatment, coming together as the incarnation of the Kindly Ones from The Sandman in an excellently written battle with Cronus. One of the best follow ups to Dandman aroound, with awesome art.
Geoff Johns then has her appear in costume released from Fate's amulet in JSA. WTF?
The character should've stayed in Vertigo, and be kept out of mainstream DC.
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kung-fu treachery 5000+ posts
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Quote:
ShazamGrrl1 said:
(Reposting this here, because the version I posted on the DCMBs got turned into a certain someone's own little vendetta thread.)
What are the lines, plot devices, situations put in a comic, or fan posts, that just made you think "WTF?!?"?
For me, it was reading so-called "spoilers" for JSA arcs where the poster leaked that Captain Marvel was either tricked or forced into yelling "SHAZAM!" in the middle of a battle.
Next!
Yep. It was the Mr. Mind-controlled Brainwave who was able to tap into Captain Marvel's mind and make him say "SHAZAM!" during his fight with Black Adam.
You're right...WTF?!! 
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10000+ posts
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Quote:
Glacier16 said:
Have that be the cover for a story written by Greg Rucka and may God help whoever gets in Pariah's way.
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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It IS a cover for an issue Rucka's Wonder Woman, isn't it?
Ok, an issue of Joe Kelly's JLA features the JLA looking for weapons of mass destruction in Qurac, followed by them protesting the war. Then it turns out to be a dream in J'onn J'onzz's dream machine.
Another issue of Joe Kelly's JLA features an evaluation of the Batman-Wonder Woman relationship, then it all turns out to be a dream in J'onn J'onzz's dream machine.
What the motherfuck?
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Wow...maybe Pariah was right about Greg Rucka all along...
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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1. You do not talk about snarf. 7500+ posts
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I dreamt I was dreaming of you.
Me No Rikey Rob, he's a banana queer!
I shit on Hogan!
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MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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he's lucky I changed my avatar, otherwise we'd have ta have a duel.
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 ShazamGrrl1 won't like how this thread ended up, either.
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Quote:
Animalman said:
ROY BATTY'S BACK!
You should see his front....
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Quote:
Animalman said:
Wow...maybe Pariah was right about Greg Rucka all along...
Noooooooo... don't say that. It will bring him back! It's like saying "Beatlejuice" three times...
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Quote:
Prometheus said:
Quote:
Animalman said:
ROY BATTY'S BACK!
You should see his front....
Wakka Wakka!
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
he's lucky I changed my avatar, otherwise we'd have ta have a duel.
Booby war! Booby war!
Bringing a little order to message boards everywhere!
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Disco Steve said:
It IS a cover for an issue Rucka's Wonder Woman, isn't it?
Ok, an issue of Joe Kelly's JLA features the JLA looking for weapons of mass destruction in Qurac, followed by them protesting the war. Then it turns out to be a dream in J'onn J'onzz's dream machine.
Another issue of Joe Kelly's JLA features an evaluation of the Batman-Wonder Woman relationship, then it all turns out to be a dream in J'onn J'onzz's dream machine.
What the motherfuck?
Fucking dream machine bullshit. The guy who came up with that should become a fucking parking ticket inspector. He's no writer.
They keep up this level of utter garbage with Martian dream machines, and they're not doing anything in the industry a service.
Fucking subeditors shuld keep dipshit writers who use that sort of puerile nonsense on a tight leash, and give it a yank every now and again.
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I like the way you think.
In a sadiomasochistic way, of course....
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Quote:
Snapman said:
ShazamGrrl1 won't like how this thread ended up, either.
Hey, Snapman, I don't mind threads going off on tangents. Sometimes, they're more fun when they do. Some of the posts you guys put up have even given me a good chuckle. 
Okay, sorta but not quite on topic, here's a real world wtf: I visited this other BB twice, yet the owner of that BB now claims I'm on his board "all the time" and is now calling me a cyber-stalker. This guy and his friend, btw, have followed me onto every other e-mail group and BB I've ever joined or formed, not the other way around.
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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I think it's called the Citadel of Justice, or something like that. It's on ezboards.
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Can we get the Nature Boyz on ezboards on the double?
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Quote:
Dave said:
Quote:
Disco Steve said:
It IS a cover for an issue Rucka's Wonder Woman, isn't it?
Ok, an issue of Joe Kelly's JLA features the JLA looking for weapons of mass destruction in Qurac, followed by them protesting the war. Then it turns out to be a dream in J'onn J'onzz's dream machine.
Another issue of Joe Kelly's JLA features an evaluation of the Batman-Wonder Woman relationship, then it all turns out to be a dream in J'onn J'onzz's dream machine.
What the motherfuck?
Fucking dream machine bullshit. The guy who came up with that should become a fucking parking ticket inspector. He's no writer.
They keep up this level of utter garbage with Martian dream machines, and they're not doing anything in the industry a service.
Fucking subeditors shuld keep dipshit writers who use that sort of puerile nonsense on a tight leash, and give it a yank every now and again.
I dunno if it was the writer's fault. I just blame the editors. I would have thought Joe Kelly was smarter than to use such a lame-ass plot device without being forced into it.
Ok, Peter Milligan writes a controversial X-Statix story arc where Princess Di comes back from the dead, entitled "Di Another Day." Joe Quesada lets the cat out of the bag in the stupidest way possible, by exclaiming on a radio show "Princess Di is coming back, and he's joining an X-Team!" All the bad press/controversy scare the upper management a bit, fearing loss of movie deals, and Milligan is forced to changed Princess Di into some fictional pop star and the storyline is retitled "Back from the Dead." As a result, the storyline makes absolutely no sense, as the original was to involve some sort of British government conspiracy against Diana, thus giving us several issues of nonsensical shit in the mostly brilliant new X-Force/X-Statix.
What. The. Fuck.
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Quote:
Stupid Dogg said:
he's lucky I changed my avatar, otherwise we'd have ta have a duel.
Pork swords at dawn?
Me No Rikey Rob, he's a banana queer!
I shit on Hogan!
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you mean like a penis fight? like the penis puppetry guys?
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Yes.
And for deserts we could have a Man-breasticle race!
Me No Rikey Rob, he's a banana queer!
I shit on Hogan!
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LLance'll be pissed if we don't invite him too.
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but but but.........I've never beaten LLance!
Hey, maybe we could spitroast him?
Me No Rikey Rob, he's a banana queer!
I shit on Hogan!
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Steeped in Batty's juices, I would imagine....
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Quote:
Snapman said:
Can we get the Nature Boyz on ezboards on the double?
Can't see why not. All you have to do is go to www.ezboard.com and click the "start a new forum" button.
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brutally Kamphausened 15000+ posts
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What's the Biggest "WTF" Story In Comics?
.
Page 1 of the original topic:
Quote:
Shazamgrrl, posted January 30, 2002 05:48 AM Â Â Â
.
Seriously, I want to know what story (or stories) made you say "What the ----?"
.
I'll reserve mine for later. I have to find the confounded books.
------------------
Shazamgrrl, aka the Magnificent Cosmic Vagabond.
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"Did she say "APPLESAUCE"?!" - Mr. Mind,
The Incredible Sinking City
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Join the Capt. Marvel Jr. Club at: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/captainmarveljr
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and the Mary Marvel Club at: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/marymarvel
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"I have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differenciate me from a doormat."
- Rebecca West, 1913
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt, 1814-1962
Quote:
therealdeadshot, posted January 30, 2002 06:14 AM
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There have been several comics which made me say WTF cause they treated the characters really shabbily, such as Zero Hour, the Catwoman ish where Nemesis is killed by some stupid old dude or Emerald Twilight. I had to sell them immediately, so I would never be forced to think about them again.
.
...now you made me cry
.
On a more positive side I would mention the Ambush Bug story with Johnny DC, the continuity cop, any comic with Captain America or whoever administering a beating on Hitler or the death of Leonard in HATE.
Quote:
Porky Pine, posted January 30, 2002 06:18 AM
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A late '70s issue of SUPERMAN... #322 I think it was.
.
A satellite orbiting the Earth fires a beam of energy at Metropolis, and Superman, rather than moving or otherwise disabling the satellite, moves the PLANET. Jeez, Supes, we know how strong you are. You don't have to show off like that!
------------------
"Trouble with people around here is they refuse to take me seriously!" - Woozy Winks, Police Comics #14
Quote:
Steven Utley, posted January 30, 2002 07:54 AM
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"Emerald Twaddle" is certainly a contender.
.
In a less distasteful vein, there are a plenty of stories from the Mort Weisinger era that left me tapping the side of my head with the head of my hand -- a particular favorite being "The Irresistible Lois Lane," from issue # 29 of Superman's Girl Friend Whatzername.
No plot summary can do it justice, because no plot summary makes much sense. We are talking byzantine, boys and girls.
.
Robert Kanigher wrote many utterly lunatic stories, too, and not just for Wonder Woman.
.
A stand-out in his War That Time Forgot series for Star Spangled War Stories is called, if memory serves, "My Buddy, The Dinosaur," wherein a G.I. reveals that he keeps having a dream in which he turns into a dinosaur. He exacts a promise from one of his squadmates: "Promise me you'll shoot me if I start to turn into a dinosaur." And, next thing ya know, he has turned into a dinosaur. I
Quote:
Steven Utley, posted January 30, 2002 07:55 AM Â Â
.
That line should read, "there are plenty of stories from the Mort Weisinger era that left me tapping the side of my head with the heel of my hand." It's early, and the caffeine hasn't kicked in.
Quote:
Evgeny, posted January 30, 2002 10:19 AM
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I remember that dinosaur story. Yup, that was definitely a WTF one right there. Also, how about Hypertime ? I
Quote:
Cliffy Mark II, posted January 30, 2002 11:17 AM
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I've never seen it, but the Superman/Big Barda are hypnotized into performing in pornographic films issues is worth mentioning.
--Cliffy
Quote:
Steven Utley, posted January 30, 2002 11:57 AM
.
I take it back -- it is possible to summarize the aforementioned story, "The Irresistible Lois Lane," as Old Dude demonstrates below. I swear by all I hold holy that his is a straightforward and unembellished description.
.
Now here's Old Dude:
Quote:
In "The Irresistable Lois Lane," Superman is immobilized by a green kryptonite meteor near his Arctic Fortress of Solitude.
.
Superman is prepared for anything. He has in place "Plan L" which is to be innitiated by Lois in case Superman is endangered by green kryptonite near the Fortress of Solitude.
.
Really.
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Krypto, the Superdog, cannot go near the meteor to save his master, so instead of melting it with his x-ray vision, blowing it away with his super-breath, or just dropping something heavy on it to drive it deep into the ground, he sky-writes the letter "L" over the skies of Metropolis so Lois will put "Plan L" into operation.
.
The plan is for Lois too get to Superman some red kryptonite she keeps in her compact. This red K has proven in the past to cause a temporary invulnerability to Kryptonians.
.
Now as it happens, the Superman Revenge Squad, I believe it was, is watching Lois for some reason, so she can't just call a JLA member and give him the RK. Instead, she crushes the stuff into powder, dips her lipstick into it and spreads a little of the powder on her lips. She then goes from hero to hero in the JLA and gives each a big smooch, smearing the red kryptonite on each one.
The boys get together, wipe off the lipstick onto a handkerchief, and Batman flies it to the North Pole in his Batplane. He ties the kerchief onto a Batarang and hurls it down to the stricken Superman, who acquires invulnerability to the green K and is saved.
.
I couldn't make this stuff up. There was also "Plan P" and "Plan J." But those are other tales entirely.
Quote:
jimmy olsen, posted January 30, 2002 11:59 AM Â Â Â
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I've got to mention the Starman issue where several heroes decide to recreate the Justice League Europe, just to get killed by Mist!
One Crimson Fox was already dead...did they really need to kill the other one?
.
lol...that was also one of the many times Blue Devil supposedly bit it.
------------------
"We're here to catch them when they fall."
--Superman
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"Meantime, I'm drawing soap!" -- Kyle Rayner in Superman Adventures Brightest Day
Quote:
Steven Utley, posted January 30, 2002 12:01 PM
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Got all that?
.
Good.
.
The male Justice League members* Lois kisses are
Batman, of course,
Aquaman,
and The Green Arrow, who shows off his Vacuum-Cleaner Arrow.
.
* A less careful or more mischievous writer than I might have written "Justice League male members Lois kisses."
Quote:
Justin League America, posted January 30, 2002 12:13 PM
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Hello,
.
Wow.
Seriously.
That is true Mort Wiesinger contrivance if I've ever seen it.
I'm stunned.
Quote:
Iron Sun, posted January 30, 2002 12:25 PM
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Those bone claws of Wolverine's. They make no sense in the context of earlier stories.
Quote:
Steven Utley, posted January 30, 2002 01:28 PM
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The rule in Mort Weisinger's Superman books seems to have been: Always take the long way around. Nothing was ever as simple for Superman as it should have been. When, finally, during the mid-1960s, young Jim Shooter began pitting him against very physical foes such as Eterno the Immortal, The Parasite, and The Four Element Enemies -- each of whom could dish it out as well as take it, mano a mano -- the Man of Steel's relief was palpable.
Quote:
fuzznugget, posted January 30, 2002 04:20 PM
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Marvel's last attempt at a BLADE comic.
You could have tied me up in a strait jacket, hopped up on horse tranquilizers with a crayon duct-taped to my foot and I could have come up with a better story than that.
.
Let's hope the new one is worthy of the movie. I seem to remember a Silver Age METAL MEN comic where they fought a giant egg that was a really, really bad Chinese stereotype for some reason.
Quote:
Aaron, posted January 30, 2002 04:28 PM Â Â
.
Some of the recent Nuff Said issues by Marvel.
.
Especially that waste of space X-Force issue that took about 2 seconds to read. (Doop pops a zit and everyone gets sucked into a zit-portal.)
.
And I LIKE X-Force! But what a waste of money that was.
.
Ditto the Defenders Nuff Said issue.
Stick a fork in it, that series is DONE.
--Aaron
Quote:
Mr Monkey, posted January 30, 2002 04:29 PM
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DC's GENESIS mini-series from a few years back.
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DC's multi-company x-overs usually stink, but this one was ridiculous...
Quote:
Old Dude, posted January 30, 2002 05:49 PM Â
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Quote:
Originally posted by fuzznugget:
.
I seem to remember a Silver Age Metal Men comic where they fought a giant egg that was a really, really bad Chinese stereotype for some reason.
.
I believe that was "Egg Fu," a villain Kanigher created in his Wonder Woman comic.
.
At least, I THINK it was Kanigher. He may have been a Golden Age retread, because:
.
1. As Fuzzy says, it was a stereotype SO Chinky-Chinaman, that I don't think it was born in the '60s.
2. On the Mary Tyler Moore show in the early'70s, Mary Richards tells a young girl about reading Wonder Woman comics as a child, ans especially remembering the villain Egg Fu.
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I've always assumed that this was just an anachronism planted by some TV writer who assumed that "comics is comics" and time frame is irrelevent. But perhaps he really was around when Mary was a girl.
.
Does anyone know?
.
Related to that last item, on an episode of M*A*S*H*, which took place during the Korean War, Radar O'Reilly is shown reading a copy of Marvel's Avengers comic 10 years before it was published.
Quote:
Old Dude, posted January 30, 2002 05:54 PM
.
Quote:
Originally posted by Steven Utley:
.
I take it back -- it is possible to summarize the aforementioned story, "The Irresistible Lois Lane," as Old Dude demonstrates below. I swear by all I hold holy that his is a straightforward and unembellished description.
.
Thanks for resurrecting my old post, Steve.
How the heck did you find it?
It was good to hear how "Loois" saved "Suoerman" with the "reed" kryptonite.
I really have to start proof reading these things!
[ Typos corrected in previous posts above, that Old Dude refers to.  --Dave t W B ]
Quote:
Joe Kinski, posted January 30, 2002 06:03 PM Â Â Â
.
Quote:
Originally posted by fuzznugget:
.
I seem to remember a Silver Age Metal Men comic where they fought a giant egg that was a really, really bad Chinese stereotype for some reason.
.
Yeah.
.
Egg Fu shows up in the late 170's/early 180's issues of Wonder Woman, just before the move to the new, costume-less Diana Prince, Wonder Woman.
I don't know if that is the initial appearance, but it is the only one I know of.
.
I guess that time frame would put it about 1968 ... definitely not Mary Tyler Moore's youth.
-- Joe
Quote:
whomod, posted January 30, 2002 06:30 PM
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The resolution of the Superman Red/Superman Blue storyline a few years ago.
Quote:
mfisher, posted January 30, 2002 07:17 PM Â Â
.
Justice League Antarctica.
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All I could think of were stories like the Search for the Seven Soldiers of Victory and say WTF-How did it come to this?
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The Doc Savage mini series. Worst Doc adaptation ever.
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The simple fact that Guy Gardner got his own book. WTF.
.
Bill Jaska's art on The New Titans. Double WTF.
Quote:
fangirl22, posted January 30, 2002 07:25 PM
.
New member here.
.
I have to say the Martian Manhunter 1,000,000 issue.
.
Kyle Rayner is on Mars in the far distant future and discovers that J'onn has become the planet Mars??
I know some people really liked this issue, but I just said 'what the ----?'
.
Maybe it just needs to grow on me.
J'onn's been my favorite character for over a decade now, I just can't see that future. Doesn't he at least deserve a Gladiator-like ending that reunites him with his family in the afterlife?
Quote:
The Vigilante, posted January 30, 2002 08:45 PM
.
My most recent "WTF" was actually a good thing.
.
I picked up a Marvel back issue I had never read before, GIANT SIZE SUPERVILLAIN TEAM-UP #2, and I noticed something very familiar about it as I read the story.
I turned to the credits and there, big as day, was Mike Sekowsky's name.
I hadn't remembered him ever doing any Marvel work, and here he was doing Namor and Dr. Doom.
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Nice change over the usual Marvel crap of the time (except for Frank Robbins' INVADERS of course).
--Rich
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"Fightin's out of style...Fear's where the fun's at!"
-- Firesign Theatre
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"And if I laugh at any mortal thing,
T'is that I may not weep..."
----Lord Byron, from Don Juan
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heffalump, posted January 30, 2002 10:08 PM
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My favourite WTF comic has to be an issue of DC Presents that teamed Superman with the Freedom Fighters. I just reread it a couple of nights ago, 'cause I find it sooo kitsch.
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1980's Nazi's have stolen the original Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution. As a result, America is subjected to a barrage of natural disasters as the 'spirit of America' is in the hands of evil! These are some damn powerful bits of paper!
Uncle Sam tries to convince Superman of this, but is frustrated that Supes doesn't believe a word. (Funny, that!)
Apparently, it was the Nazis' theft of these documents on Earth X that won them the Second World War...
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Instead, the Freedom Fighters set out to recover the documents. Uncle Sam can lead them straight to the Nazi's hide-out, as he is sensitive to the Spirit of America (of course).
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Meanwhile, Superman speeds from disaster to disaster. The Russians have now decided that this is a great time to ship nuclear weapons to Cuba to restart the missile crisis.
Supes doesn't want to stop the ships and trigger a conflict if he can avoid it, but as luck would have it, the convoy of ships is in the path of a falling satellite which has also succumbed to the disasters. Seeing the satellite falling, Superman actually says that he deosn't know what to do! (Like he hasn't dealt with this type of situation every week for decades...)
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Instead of catching the satellite or destroying it with his heat vision, or any less aggressive stance, he decides the best course of action is to lift the Russian ship out of the water and out of the satellite's path. Somehow, this doesn't start world war 3.
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Superman eventually comes to his senses, and meets up with the Freedom Fighters at the Nazi hide-out in time for the big fight scene. The documents are recovered and returned to their rightful place, and all the disasters cease..
I laughed when I first read it and I laughed when I read it again this week. I'm still amazed that this isn't a Silver Age story, but actually dates from 1982.
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KryptoSuperDog, posted January 30, 2002 10:30 PM
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I was cleaning out old comic boxes the other day, and came across a "summer annual" tie-in from the 90s.
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It was something about Bloodlines and all these stupid vulgar aliens ripping up the planet. Pretty forgettable, since no one ever mentions those stories anymore, and even I forgot I had them!
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Well, I got to reading them and couldn't make heads or tails out of them...
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There are many many more confusing WTF stories in DCU, but it seems most of them revolve around multi-part epics like this, when the editors lose control, and lose their minds.
Great for sales, though, oh yeah.
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I think the single-most confusing story I ever read though, was Giffen's last run on Legion of Super-Heroes, when they branched out into doing the Legionnaires as well, and Cosmic Boy turned out to be the Time Trapper, and Lightning Lad was really Proty I, and other such rubbish.
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Yeah, right, whatEVah..
Thankfully, all those stories were voided out forever and ever due to Zero Hour...(another bloody confusing tale).
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brutally Kamphausened 15000+ posts
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brutally Kamphausened 15000+ posts
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Page 2 of the original topic:
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The Indestructible Man, posted January 30, 2002 11:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Old Dude:
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Related to that last item, on an episode of M*A*S*H*, which took place during the Korean War, Radar O'Reilly is shown reading a copy of Marvel's Avengers comic 10 years before it was published.
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C'mon, you KNOW Radar had to be a time-traveller or something, which is why he could always predict when choppers would show up!
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The Anti-Life Equation, posted January 31, 2002 12:07 AM
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Emerald Twilight.
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The ALE
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"Just because it's me saying it doesn't make it wrong."
-Green Arrow
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Steve Chung, posted January 31, 2002 12:09 AM
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Electric Superman
Genesis
Worlds At War
Last Laugh (Though I did enjoy the Gotham Knights and JSA issues)
Doomsday
Knightfall
Knight's End (Touchy-feely healing?)
Zero Hour
Millenium Giants
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Old Dude, posted January 31, 2002 12:18 AM
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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the master of WTF: Mort Weisinger!
I didn't use the phrase when I was young, but just about every Weisinger comic contained one glorious WTF moment.
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Steven Utley, posted January 31, 2002 12:48 AM
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... and then there are the Mort Weisinger comics that consist entirely of W.T.F. moments.
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"The Irresistible Lois Lane," please note, was one of three, count 'em, stories in issue # 29, each only eight pages long.
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PhroG, posted January 31, 2002 01:14 AM
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Ok... the one story that was such a WTF that it drove me from comics...
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The unimaginably complex and yet completely stupid and ridiculous CLONE SAGA over at Marvel...
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I can't say enough bad things about that...
It frustrated me so much that I left comics for 3 years, as I determined if this was the best they could do, I wasn't wasting my money
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=Ian=
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OPMaster, posted January 31, 2002 01:57 AM
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How about the whole Avengers:Timeslide mess where it was revealed that with Kang pulling the strings Tony Stark had went p p crazy and wound up being killed and replaced by a teenage version of himself that was worried about getting laid instead of being Iron Man.
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W T F???????
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OP
"You have your opinion, I have mine. That's what makes the world interesting. " Dave the Wonder Boy
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"My mistress is pooped, the Reds have Oklahoma and I'm going to bed!!!" HodgePodge,Bloom County, 1985
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Rockscissorspaper, posted January 31, 2002 02:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Iron Sun:
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Those bone claws of Wolverine's. They make no sense in the context of earlier stories.
True, true...in a related topic, I also thought WTF when Claremont decided that Wolverine's claws rip through his skin each time he pops them. (this was in a story where his healing factor was removed and he bled when his claws came out)
...so scientists go through the trouble of building "housings" for the claws but decide not to make a way for them to pop out? WTF??
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CakeDaddy, posted January 31, 2002 03:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Steven Utley:
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I take it back -- it is possible to summarize the aforementioned story, "The Irresistible Lois Lane," as Old Dude demonstrates below. I swear by all I hold holy that his is a straightforward and unembellished description.
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Have mercy, that's horrible. We have a winnah!
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And the runner up...
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Quote:
OP Master
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How about the whole Avengers:Timeslide mess where it was revealed that with Kang pulling the strings Tony Stark had went p p crazy and wound up being killed and replaced by a teenage version of himself that was worried about getting laid instead of being Iron Man.
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Life without knowledge is death in disguise. - Talib Kweli
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"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was! Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' is weird and scary!" - Grandpa Simpson
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"This was not combat! You were beaten the moment you chose to engage me!" - J'onn J'onzz
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"I appreciate your confidence in me Plastic Man. Of course I have a plan." -Batman
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Shazamgrrl, posted January 31, 2002 03:37 AM
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Waitaminute, this isn't a contest! It was something inspired by extreme exhaustion!
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Shazamgrrl, aka the Magnificent Cosmic Vagabond.
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"Did she say "APPLESAUCE"?!" - Mr. Mind, The Incredible Sinking City
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Join the Capt. Marvel Jr. Club at: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/captainmarveljr and the Mary Marvel Club at: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/marymarvel
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"It's just me, Mary and Billy. We get our powers from an ancient wizard named Shazam. Or rather, Billy and Mary get them directly from Shazam, and I get them from Shazam through Billy. Y'see, we're also the Marvel Family."
- Freddy Freeman, from With Great Power, by me.
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Black Zero.1, posted January 31, 2002 03:44 AM
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For me, it's pretty much every time-travel story. Just can't accept it.
I can accept Batman never getting shot in the head, Superman's flying, and Wonder Woman not falling out of her golden bra everytime she runs... but I just don't buy characters being able to travel through time. Too many variables, too many... ugh. I just don't like it.
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Ducklord, posted January 31, 2002 03:46 AM
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I know the story isn't over yet, but is it too early to nominate DK2?
Hoping Miller's got something clever up his sleeve for the final issue,
Mike.
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Steven Utley, posted January 31, 2002 07:48 AM
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As Shazamgrrl says, this isn't a contest --imagine, instead, that you have been asked to make suggestions for a forthcoming trade-paperback anthology to be called The Most W.T.F. Stories Ever Told.
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Candidates for (dis)honorable mentions can be the most bloated story arcs of all time, e.g., The Trial of the Flash, The Spidey-Clone, etc., but candidates for inclusion must be stand-alone (or, more accurately, fall-down-alone) stories.
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"The Irresistible Lois Lane" definitely ought to make the cut. It's my favorite artifact from the Mort Weisinger era because it includes virtually everybody who was anybody in the Superman family (plus The Justice League of America), and because it demonstrates, in eight giddy pages, Weisinger's predilection for Rube Goldberg-ish contrivance.
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Robert Kanigher's "My Buddy, the Dinosaur" (or whatever the title is) also deserves a place on the short list. Some Kanigher story or other does, anyway. Kanigher claims never to have thought ahead when he started writing a story. He seemed not to think back, either, with the result that his stories often not only flatly contradicted one another but contradicted themselves.
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So: we have representative works by the master of Needless Complication and the master of Seat-of-the-Pants Plotting. Surely there's a(n un)worthy story by Roy Thomas, the master of Mind-Numbing Minutiae. And Gerry Conway. And -- well, while you're coming up with your own nominees, I need to go refresh my memory so that I can present the case for Hank Fletcher, aka Fletcher Hanks, the mad genius (or something) responsible for Stardust, the Immortal Wizard.
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Bud Mack, posted January 31, 2002 07:55 AM
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Lois Lane, Black like me!
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Jason
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"...then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn."
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Steven Utley, posted January 31, 2002 07:58 AM
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Bud, that's low.
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Lady Obie 33, posted January 31, 2002 08:00 AM
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My biggest WTF is that DC actually used Obsidian as a villain AGAIN in JSA's Darkness Falls (ok, I'm sure at least 2 more of us out there read the GL/Sentinel: Heart of Darkness mini from '98, yep, that was a monumentally bad story too :-P ).
That is just such a DUMB idea.
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I mean look at Obsidian & let's fill in the why he would make a good villian checklist:
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a. He has dark powers (dark = evil) CHECK
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b. He had an abusive childhood CHECK
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c. He has a pessimistic personality CHECK
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But what David Goyer doesn't realize is all those things make the idea of Obsidian being a villian both extremely unsurprising & uninteresting.
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Why couldn't Obie instead have been used as a hero fighting off a shadow-powered villian like Ian Karkull? There are plenty of ways suspense could've been built up in a story like that.
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But I guess that would've been a tad too original.
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Now I'm just sitting around twiddling my thumbs wondering when or if the JSA team will ever strut their stuff & make an interesting HERO out of Obie.
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Stay tuned. In the meantime here's a pillow.
Quote:
StuRat, posted January 31, 2002 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Old Dude:
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1. As Fuzzy says, it was a stereotype SO Chinky-Chinaman, that I don't think it was born in the '60s.
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Was it really necessary to use this phrase, even as an ostensibly neutral way of describing how ridiculously stereotyped Egg Fu was? Frankly, the mere description of Egg Fu -- what he looked like, and his goals -- would have been more than sufficient to make your point.
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I'm just surprised that the word wasn't censored -- the DC boards seem to be pretty good about using asterisks when racial and other epithets are used (the "N word" and the "F word," for example). Hell, you can't even type "fus.sy" without having the last five letters bleeped out, because the boards think you're trying to type "pus.sy"...
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Justin League America, posted January 31, 2002 01:43 PM
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Hello,
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bud Mack:
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Lois Lane, Black like me!
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For those not in the know, this was an issue of Lois Lane, where Superman's girlfriend "Must... [Be] Black for 24 Hours!" Plus, it's title is taken from the name of a pornographic film...
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Steven Utley, posted January 31, 2002 01:52 PM
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No, no, JLA: Black Like Me is the title of a book by John Howard Griffin; I Am Curious (Yellow) is the title of a soft-core porn flick; and the Lois Lane story which Bud Mack cites and which you'll find reprinted in Superman in the Seventies, is called "I Am Curious (Black)."
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Tom Curry, posted January 31, 2002 04:58 PM
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Sometime in the late 70s, there was a Superman issue in which we find out that the real reason no one suspects Supeerman is actually Clark Kent is because Clark is perpetually and unconsciously using super-hypnotism on everyone in the world to make himself seem more thin, frail and nebbishy.
Apparently his glasses -- relics of the window of the rocket that brought him to earth -- magnify his unconscious desire to look different when he's Clark and blah blah blah fishcakes..
I remember reading that as a kid and thinking ... just .... why?
Why bother trying to explain something like that? Has that question really been keeping anyone up nights?
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But I didn't come out and say WTF until the end of the issue, when he got an artist friend to draw a portrait of Clark. We see that:
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1. the super-"I'm a wimp" hypnotism somehow works even on tv and in photography, and
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2. the Clark that everyone in the DC Universe sees when they look at Clark is a cross between David Brinkley and the Love Boat's own Gavin McLeod.
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Steven Utley, posted January 31, 2002 05:21 PM
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Welcome to the DC message boards, Tom.
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When I was a kid, I may have wondered why no one saw the clear physical resemblance between Superman and Clark Kent, but I didn't obsess over it... unlike some other kid who evidently couldn't wait until he grew up and became a real actual funny-book writer and could answer just that burning question.
Quote:
heffalump, posted January 31, 2002 05:47 PM
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Someone may be able to confirm this.
But wasn't there a Superman comic that put forward the idea that no one recognises Supes as Clark because when he is in his Superman garb, he carefully vibrates his head at high speed so as to oh-so-slightly blur his features? I really can't think where I read this one and it would take me months to find the offending issue even if I still own it, so I may need to rely on someone else confirming this one.
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"All it takes is a colourful imagination and a glib tongue!" (The Fourth Doctor)
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The Rob, posted January 31, 2002 05:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Steve Chung:
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Electric Superman
Genesis
Worlds At War
Last Laugh (Though I did enjoy the Gotham Knights and JSA issues)
Doomsday
Knightfall
Knight's End (Touchy-feely healing?)
Zero Hour
Millenium Giants
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Look at me, I hate DC
Quote:
BearPaws, posted January 31, 2002 05:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by heffalump
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Someone may be able to confirm this. but wasn't there a Superman comic that put forward the idea that no one recognises Supes as Clark because when he is in his Superman garb, he carefully vibrates his head at high speeds so as to oh-so-slightly blur his features?...
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I think this was proposed in one of the early Byrne issues, for the purpose of no one getting a clear photograph of Superman and doing comparisons later.
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"I knew I wasn't risking my secret identity with you! After all, if I can't trust the President of the United States, who can I trust?"
--Superman to JFK, Action Comics #309, February 1964
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jimmy olsen, posted January 31, 2002 06:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by heffalump
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Someone may be able to confirm this. but wasn't there a Superman comic that put forward the idea that no one recognises Supes as Clark because when he is in his Superman garb, he carefully vibrates his head at high speeds so as to oh-so-slightly blur his features? I really can't think where I read this one and it would take me months to find the offending issue even if I still own it, so I may need to rely on someone else confirming this one.
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Yay! Yay! A Superman question! lol....actually that idea, although it might have been put forth before this, was given in John Byrne's revamp of Superman. If you check out those early issues, like possibly the Clark Kent is Superman issue, I believe that is the reason given.
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"We're here to catch them when they fall."
--Superman
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"Meantime, I'm drawing soap!" -- Kyle Rayner in Superman Adventures Brightest Day
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 33,385 Likes: 3 |
Wonder Boy, do you ever respond to any thread with less than a novel?!  
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Posts: 13,392
[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
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[insert non-dated reference here] 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 13,392 |
LOL. No kidding! I'm not reading all that. I barely skim half of DTWB's posts even when they're not simply cut and pasted from somewhere else -- the man needs to learn to make his points more succinct. No offense intended, of course.
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10000+ posts
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10000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 14,896 |
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Posts: 259
Goddess of the Universe 200+ posts
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OP
Goddess of the Universe 200+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 259 |
Heh-heh, the original was reeeheeeheeeally populah.
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