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Inglourious Basterd!!!
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Cool personality change. I like the entrance music.


Uschi said:
I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry.

MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost!

"I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock

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Hip To Be Square
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Aww,I was hoping for entrance music by Chesney Hawkes

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Ehhhhh...no. Just no.

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I am the one & only
They cant take that away from me
I am the one & only
Nobody I'd rather be

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El Superbeasto, the Giant Luchadore

Height: Seven feet

Weight: 415 lbs.

Appearance: Seven feet in height, El Superbeasto, wears a blue-black wrestling mask at all times. Outside of the ring, he wears a dark grey suit with a similar colored shirt underneath. In the ring, he wears blue-black style singlet with black leggins with blue design work on the sides. Blue boots.

Entrance music: Del Castillo's "Back From the Grave"
http://www.delcastillomusic.com/music.html

Affiliation: The Bastardo Family

Signature moves:

*Giant Headbutt-exactly what it says.

*Giant Elbowdrop-El Superbeasto drops his full weight behind this move, flattening most opponents.

*Giantsault-El Superbeasto occasionally will use his lucha training to use moves of this type to devastating effect. Most rings cannot handle the Giant lucha maneuvers and reinforced rings often must be built to handle his matches.

*Chokeslam to Oblivion-mighty giant chokeslam.


Back history: The largest of all luchadores, rumored to have been found in the South American jungles roaming wild at a young age, El Superbeasto dominated the competition. His best known feud was with Los Monstrous Azules, as they battled in matches that annihilated rings across Mexico and Southern California. Now, Louie Bastardo has imported the Giant Beast to renew this war.


I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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Please read No Way Out of the Closet before reading this.



Johnny Evil

History/Personality: Formerly known as Notwedge, he's gone even crazier. He's become tired of risking himself, entertaining people with goofy antics and not getting any respect. He's still a bit on the goofy side, but he's a little scary too.

Group affiliation: Bastardo Family

Catch phrase: The Merrie-Go-Round has broken down.

Entrance theme: "Lying from You" by Linkin Park

Appearance: Not the biggest guy, but bigger than a true lightweight. He typically wears cargo shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Most of his T-shirts have a picture of a comic book, cartoon or sci-fi villain on them. He adds in the typical boots, kneepads, elbow pads and fingerless gloves for matches.

Fighting style: Typical wrestling moves with some Tae Kwon Do thrown in. He also uses some daredevil tactics, he isn't totally graceful but he can take a lot of damage. He's willing to hurt himself if he hurts the other guy more.

Signature moves:

(to go along with the "Merrie-Go-Round broken down" theme, Johnny Evil's signature moves all have names that used to belong to attractions at Walt Disney World but the attractions have have been replaced or renamed)

Surprise in the Sky: Formerly called Death Chop 2000, a karate chop off the top rope.

Mission to Mars: Formerly the Evilsault, an Asai Moonsault with a silly name.

The WEDway PeopleMover: Formerly called the Reverse Monkey Death Drop, a spinning Kryptonite Krunch.

The Skyway to Tomorrowland: Formerly the Cobra Roll, a half twisting moonsault leg drop.

The Making of Flubber: Previosly unamed move, he slams a chair into someone's face with a spinning hook kick.

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride: Formerly Cradle to Grave, a cradle neckbreaker that starts out like a fisherman's suplex.

Countdown to Extinction (CTX): A bridging Indian death lock/face lock combination.

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Schlub
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And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points

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As an antidote to all these Bastardo bios, I thought I'd post my updated profile.

Name: Charlie

Entrance Music: "Durango 95" by The Ramones

Signature Moves: The Tower of London (Diamond Cutter)
The Zeitgeist (DDT)
Kapitalizm (Standing Leg Lock)
Big Business (Fall Away Slam)

Personality Type: After becoming a member of the company, Charlie has slipped into the role of vicious heel easily enough. Still as wild and hardcore as ever, Charlie now attempts to mask this with a thin veneer of civilised behaviour. This cracks as soon as he gets in the ring, though, and he reverts ot the same vicious young man he always was...

Costume: Black trouser, whie shirt and black tie. Also a pair of shades.

Last edited by Charlie; 2005-03-26 7:06 AM.
Charlie #324298 2005-03-24 12:26 AM
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I Am Groot
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Chris Oakley

ENTRANCE THEME:Alice in Chains' "Rooster"

SIGNATURE MOVES:The Kill 'Em All(a missile drop-kick off the top rope)
The Full Metal Jacket(a reverse DDT)
The WMD(a flying tackle off the second rope)
The Lock and Load(an Irish Whip/power bomb combination)
The Red Alert(a variation on John Cena's F-U)

OUTFITS:Has adopted military-style garb for his in-ring attire,most notably a "KILL 'EM ALL/LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT!" T-shirt from the pages of Soldier of Fortune magazine.

AFFILIATIONS:Charter member of the Bond Brigade

PERSONALITY:Always looking for a fight.Has a chip on his shoulder you could park 747s on.

TITLES HELD:IC Championship,Hardcore Belt

UPCOMING MATCHES:Will face current RDCW Hardcore Champion Wednesday at Robblemania 21.

Grimm #324299 2005-04-01 5:10 PM
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Grimm

Personality type: bits of "Deadman" Undertaker, mixed with ECW era Raven, and touches of the Great Muta.

Music: Single: Ghoultown "Return of the Living Dead"
Dark Lords: "Imperial March"

Titles Held: EuroTrash, Tag Team (2x)

Moves:

Power moves: Grimm will frequently use powerbombs, suplexes, bodyslams, and ddts to wear down his opponents.

Technical moves:
Dragon Sleeper

Roughneck moves:
Kobe Special: turnbuckle chokeslam to the arena floor
The Flatliner: loaded glove heart punch
The Crapping Wizard: running kick to the head of kneeling opponent while wearing steel toed boots
138: DDT onto a steel chair
Grave Breath: spits green mist into opponent's face

Finishers:
The Grimmlock (Sharpshooter)
Triple 6 Bomb (top rope powerbomb)


Group affiliation: Dark Lords (tag team with Darth)

Ring gear: Single matches: Various indie comic tshirts (Faust, Crow, Poison Elves, etc.) or horror punk band shirts (Independants, Ghoultown, Misfits, Samhain) ripped blue jeans, steel toed gladiator boots, black leather jacket or overcoat. Dark Lords tag matches: all black ring gear over black robe.

Grimm #324300 2005-04-01 6:32 PM
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Howler

Personality: Essentially, combine JBL's arrogance with a big ol' dose of Austin's bad attitude, and that's Howler. His current persona is halfway between his original biker phase and the company man of recent months.

Entrance Theme: 'Whole Lotta Rosie' by AC/DC

Moves:

The Lockdown: Top Rope Axe Handle
Downsizing: Tombstone Piledriver
Super Fall-Away Slam: Fairly self explanatory.
Big Business: Fall-Away Slam
The Chief: Death Valley Driver

In-Ring Attire: Black Trunks with matching knee pads and elbow pads. Howler does wear a suit, but not when wrestling.

Last edited by Howlerama; 2005-04-06 2:18 PM.
Howlerama #324301 2005-04-02 4:49 AM
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The Highwayman

Personality: Times may change, but The Highwayman never will. He's a vicious sonofabitch, with more than a little of HBK's cocky swagger to him. Also, don't make the mistake of assuming that he's not xcoming for you. Highwayman's gunning for everyone

Entrance Theme: 'Bad Boy Boogie' by AC/DC

Moves:

Big Business: Fall-Away Slam
The Five-Leaf Clover: Texas Cloverleaf
Corporate Sponsor: Short-Arm Closthesline
Stand And Deliver: Superkick

In-Ring Attire: Black Trousers with black boots. Highwayman also wears Bret-Hart style shades.

Last edited by Howlerama; 2005-05-07 10:46 AM.
Howlerama #324302 2005-04-09 2:48 PM
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Terri Savitz, formerly known as Rosalita

Personality: Terri is cheerful and playful, given to playing to the crowd. A surprisingly talented wrestler, Rosalita is still seen most often in RDJL related matches.

Music: Rod Stewart's 'Do Ya' Think I'm Sexy'

Moves:

Power Moves: Rosalita makes frequent use of suplexes and hurracanrana's against femal foes, but for the most part she prefers to hit her opponent with a strong repertoire of kicks.

Technical Moves:
Rosalita's mat skills are generally pretty poor. She doesn't use holds at all, preferring to climb the turnbuckle to hit her foes with an aerial move.

Aerial Moves:
Springboard Seated Senton
Bridal Drop: Split Legged Splash
The Beast From The East: Terri leaps off the top rope as if performing a Splash, but rotates in mid air so the move turns into a Moonsault.
Missile Dropkick
The Dive: 450 Splash
Flying Double Smash: Terri leaps from the top rope and hits one foe with a Seated Senton whilst clotheslining the other to the mat. This can be performed as a double team, with the subject of the clothesline being raised in an Electric Chair position.

Finisher Moves: The Mystic East (Tiger Feint Kick)
The Wonderbomb (630 Splash)


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Spandex Monkey Man

Personality: Spandex Monkey Man, or Spamm as he is often referred to, will never change. More than a little unhinged, he is quite happy to risk life and limb in the ring in pursuit of victory.

Ring Gear: Spandex's costume has undergone a re-design. He now wears a pair of Orange and yellow tights (one leg yellow, the other orange), an orange and yellow vest with a banana insignia and a orange mask reminiscent of that formerly worn by Notwedge.

Music: The Who's 'Batman', preceded by a cry of SPANDEX MONKEY MAAAAN!

Move-set:

Power Moves: Spandex enjoys using punishing bodyslams on all his opponents, and is actually strong enough to bodyslam opponents much bigger than himself unaided. His Signature Power Moves are:-

Spandex Monkey Slam: TKO
Super-slam: Muscle Buster

Technical Moves: Technical? Spandex? You've gotta be joking. Actually, Spandex is a proficient technical wrestler, and can employ a variety of submission holds to good use. However, he only really makes regular use of a Standing Boston Crab, known as a Monkey Wrench.

Aerial Moves: Aerial moves are very dangerous, so naturally Spandex loves them. Mostly he uses bog standard splashes and legdrops, but he does have several signature moves that operate from the top rope. These include:

Super-Splash: 450 Splash
Spandex Monkey Drop: Corkscrew Leg drop
Spandex Supersault: Corkscrew Moonsault

Finisher Moves:
Spandex Superkick: Spinning Superkick
The Might of The Monkey: 619 and springboard Frog Splash, preceded by a cry of 'SPANDEX MONKEY MAAAAN!'

Last edited by SpandexMonkeyMan; 2005-09-03 11:09 AM.
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Two-Ton Tommy

Personality: Tommy is the quiet muscle of SD-6. Not as vocal as tag partner Fantastic or former charge Nuriko, he is nevertheless blessed with strong charisma that comes from his imposing presence.

Entrance Music: 'Sunshine of your Love' by Cream

Ring Gear: Blue trunks and white boots with blue and white knee and elbow pads.

Moves:

Tommy-Bomb: Crucifix Powerbomb
Two-Ton Powerslam: Falling Slam
Laying the Slam-down: Triple Tiger Suplex
Giant Kick: Irish whip and Spinning Heel Kick

Last edited by James_Fantastic; 2005-04-30 6:04 AM.
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An new version of my bio, as I was never really happy with the last one

Charlie

Personality: Throw in a whole lot of Randy Orton's arrogance and more than a little of Spike Dudley's untamed aggression and that's Charlie. He might wear a suit but he still wrestles like a loony.

Ring Gear: Out of the ring Charlie wears a suit, but in the ring Charlie wears Black Jeans and black shoes with a black bandana.

Music: Highway to Helll by AC/DC

Signature Moves:
The Tower of London: Stunner
The Pitbull DDT: Reverse Lifting DDT
Big Business: Fall Away Slam
Wall Street Drop: Diving Knee Drop

Last edited by Charlie; 2005-07-09 11:03 AM.
Charlie #324306 2005-04-25 5:19 PM
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Here's SD-6 Fantastic's bio. It's not too different from his old one, but I've worked on a few of the moves, and reintroduced an old one.

Name: The SD Rocker James Fantastic

Entrance Music: 'Sweet Child O'Mine' by Guns n' Roses

Signature Moves:

The One and Only (Top Rope Bulldog with the foe standing on the mat)
Fabacanrana (Dragonrana)
Classy Kick (Missile Dropkick)
The SD Rocker (Inverted Texas Cloverleaf)

Personality Type: Now a member of SD-6, Fantastic has adapted well to being a member of the team. Loud and exuberant, Fantastic has teamed up with the quiet giant Two-Ton Tommy, and the pair promise to wreak havoc on The Bastardo Family!

Costume: White trouser and shirt under a union jack dustercoat. Fantastic also wears shades and (over time, as he scores major victories) a row of medals.

Last edited by James_Fantastic; 2005-07-16 5:25 PM.
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Chris Oakley

ENTRANCE THEME:Alice in Chains' "Rooster"

SIGNATURE MOVES:The Kill 'Em All(a missile dropkick off the top rope)
The Full Metal Jacket(a reverse DDT)
The WMD(a flying tackle off the second rope)
The Lock and Load(an Irish Whip/power bomb combination)
The Red Alert(a variation on John Cena's F-U)
Snuff the Rooster(a sleeper hold)

OUTFITS:Favors military-style garb for his in-ring attire,most notably a "KILL 'EM ALL/LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT!" T-shirt from the pages of Soldier of Fortune magazine.

AFFILIATIONS:Charter member of the Bond Brigade

PERSONALITY:Always looking for a fight.Has a chip on his shoulder you could park 747s on.

TITLES HELD:IC Championship,Hardcore Belt

UPCOMING MATCHES:Will face Eurotrash champion Nowhereman and El Superbeasto in a triple threat match at Rehash

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Tommy Savitz

Personality: Get Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner and throw in a little bit of Rowdy Roddy Piper. He loves talking about how 'damn good' he is, but manages to retain status as a face due to his tendency to follow the rules and play down the line. He's known as 'The Surgeon' due to his amazing technical ability, and his feard finisher maneuver 'The Surgeon's Knife'

Ring Gear: White Doctor's Jacket and white tights. Tommy also has shoulder-length black hair.

Entrance Music: 'Lyla' by Oasis

MOVE SET:

Power Moves: Tommy is a suplex specialist, and a lot of his time in matches is spent throwing his opponents to the mat. He's not fond of bodyslams, though, and isn't really built for Powerbombs. He has several signature power moves, including:

The Anaesthetist: Double Underhook Suplex
The Operating Table: Fisherman Superplex
Scalpelplex: Pumphandle Suplex

Technical Moves: Tommy is among the strongest mat workers in RDCW. A master of submission holds, Tommy can dominate in this area, and has proudly boasted that he has a record number of wins by submission on the indy circuit. Trademark moves here include:

Cardiac Arrest: Octopus Hold
The X-Ray: Reverse Figure Four Leglock
Malpractice: Argentine Backbreaker Rack

Aerial Maneuvres: Whilst Tommy does occasionally go to the top rope, he generally prefers to stay on the mat and work his opponent from there. He does include Diving leg Drops and Splashes in his regular moveset, but compared to other Lightweights like James Fantastic he's not an aerial god.

Finisher Moves:

The Surgeon's Knife: Regal Stretch. Tommy likes to boast that nobody has ever broken out of the hold unassisted, a fact that is actually true.

Last edited by Tommy_Savitz; 2005-08-10 7:17 PM.

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Name:Rob Blackandblue
Occupation:The greatest motherfucking wrestling promoter in the whole goddamn world,punks!
Hometown:Los Angeles,California
Personality:Ten times cooler than any of you morons will ever be
Appearance:Nothing but style all the way.Only the best three-piece suits,the most expensive leather shoes,and the slickest shades are good enough for the R-man.
Entrance Music:"The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson
Background:For six glorious years I've been running X-Citing Power Wrestling(NOT X-cruciatingly Poor Wrestling,no matter what some people might say) out of my luxurious Hollywood office complex.Anybody who's ever seen an XPW show knows I'm a better promoter than Bischoff,Long,Heyman,and Kamphausen put together...which brings me to the reason I've come to RDCW.I'm here to liberate some of your top stars from this wasteland that Kamphausen has the nerve to call a wrestling organization and bring them out to sunny California where their talents can be truly appreciated.Chris Oakley is just the first name on my shopping list of RDCW stars who I plan to sign to my promotion(and he WILL join XPW,trust me)--I've got my eye on at least 15-20 other competitors,and it might interest you to know that the list of people I'm pursuing includes certain members of the Bastardo Family.
Affiliations:Founder,CEO,chief talent booker,and blow-by-blow commentator for XPW.
Catchphrase:"Follow the money,baby!"


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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NAME:Lizzie Boring
Occupation:Goddess of XPW
Hometown:Los Angeles,California
Personality:Ten times sexier than any of you sluts in RDCW will ever be
Appearance:Hotter than Georgia asphalt,baby!
Entrance Music:"Lady Marmalade" by Patti LaBelle
Background:I helped Rob Blackandblue create X-Citing Power Wrestling,and together we've built it into the best wrestling federation on earth.Every man wants to be with me,and every woman wants to be like me.
Catchphrase:"XPW Forever!"


XPW Forever!
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That's my Lizzie...ain't she awesome?


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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Frankly, no.

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I can't believe it!
I can't believe you had the balls to disrespect my Lizzie that way!
Your ass is doomed,fucker!


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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And to think that only 2 seconds ago you were virtually kissinh my ass...

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living in 1962
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Yeah, he's a dickbag like that.

Grimm #324316 2005-06-11 6:14 PM
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You're a real comedian,aren't you?
Well,XPW will have the last laugh!


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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living in 1962
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See what I mean? Total dickbag.

Grimm #324318 2005-06-11 6:17 PM
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You are so screwed when my world heavyweight champion Darien Irons gets hold of you,Grimm.


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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Go,Robbie!


XPW Forever!
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Quote:

Rob Blackandblue said:
Wah wah wah. . .the RDCW guys kicked my guys asses!



Grimm #324321 2005-06-11 6:25 PM
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You're just jealous 'cause you're not a real man like my Robbie!
Fuck you.


XPW Forever!
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Quote:

Lizzie Boring said:
You're just jealous 'cause you're not a real woman like my Robbie!
Fuck you.




Somehow that doesn't surprise me.

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You're in for a lot of surprises,Jimmy boy,you stupid limey bastard.


XPW Forever!
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You going to apologize to the nice lady,Jimbo,or do I have to whip your ass like the useless piece of shit you are?


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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No, I'm not gonna apologise to your pet trannie, Rob, and you ain;t coming anywhere near my ass.

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You're dead meat,fucker.


Follow the money,baby! RDCW's going down!
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Actually, I'm very much alive.

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I Am Groot
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CHARACTER NAME:Rob Blackandblue(a.k.a. Rob Zucchini)
REAL XPW STAR BEING SPOOFED:Rob Black
HIS ROLE:XPW creator and boss.He wants to use RDCW to expand his federation's profile to the East Coast.A legend in his own mind.

For further details about Blackandblue,see his Superstar Bio in the "WHO ARE YOU?!" thread.

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I Am Groot
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CHARACTER NAME:Darien Irons
REAL XPW STAR BEING SPOOFED:Damien Steele
HIS ROLE:Current X-Citing Power Wrestling world heavyweight champion.Not officially a member of Blackandblue's Army but frequently joins them in their muggings of anyone who opposes Blackandblue.Will hit you with everything up to,including,and well past the kitchen sink in order to win.

A Superstar Bio of Irons will be posted in the "WHO ARE YOU?!" thread shortly.

(WHOOHOO!I made the 4000 mark!)

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