Quote:

Son of Mxy said:
"Superstar" blasts through the speakers as Son of Mxy makes his way to the ring with a purple gym bag in hand. He picks up a mic from the announcer's stand and hops through the ropes.

SoM: Jesus, I'm nervous. This is my first time.

*cheers from the crowd*

SoM: It's true. This is my first PPV as the lightweight faggot champion. And I'm honestly excited and I feel as though there are butterflies in my stomach. It's like being in love all over again.
SoM: Yes, if you're out there watching, Lisa Villanueva - I'd like you to know that I'm very popular now. I'm on tv! I hope you're happy about not going to the prom with me!

*cheers from the crowd*

SoM: Okay, enough about my personal life. I'm here on official business. *taps the gym bag*

*crowd goes silent*

SoM: You see, I've been the lightweight faggot for couple of weeks now and I have successfully defended it once. It's kinda great - I'm living out my dreams.
SoM: Except that dream where I was having sex with a really hot nun who suddenly turned out to be David Hasselhoff in drag..
SoM: But I digress...
SoM: Yes, I was living my childhood dream, but I felt like something is missing.
SoM: It's like, being champion left a gaping hole in my heart, as if it needs something to make me feel whole again - something that will make me feel like a true lightweight faggot.
SoM: What I did first was ask advice from my mentor, Dave. But he's currently unavailable after retiring from the squared circle. I was on my own.

*chants of "I'm not Mxy!" filled the stadium*

SoM: This has nothing to do with my dad. I'm getting to the point.
SoM: You see, after a week of bible study and silent admiration of my own reflection, I realized what I was missing..

SoM grins

SoM: .....A belt.
SoM: I only noticed it at that time, but there really was no lightweight faggot belt. We were competing for an imaginary title. Not to mention our pants kept falling down to our knees.
SoM: Now, I don't know about you but that's very pathetic. Not as pathetic as my buddy Joe Mama having sex with an Oakley - but pretty damn close.
SoM: So, case in point, I asked the doc to make me a belt. It took a lot of phone calls and formal request letters and envelopes filled with offers for violent sodomy, but it finally worked.

*cheers from the crowd*

SoM: Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce you to the brand new...

SoM opens the gym bag and takes out the content

SoM: LIGHTWEIGHT FAGGOT belt!






This guy seems to like it: