Ed stood before Quantos, wondering why he was here and where they would be led.
"We have to escape from this Metithenai!" Ed yelled.
"Then you must find the wizard. But first... you must claim what is yours..." Quantos said. He gestured to Ed's left, where Merlin's great ship lay shattered and broken. Beneath the ship, obscured by the landing gear, lay the dead body of Jack Merlin. Or at least, the guy who was pretending to be Merlin. Or something. The lower half of the man's body poked out from beneath the ship, and Quantos leaned down to grab something from the man's waist.
"This is the ruby evil sword!" Quantos said, and held the phony Ladnikia aloft. It glowed red along its edges, gleaming where it caught the light. Quantos held it out to Ed, who took it carefully.
"You must follow the Yellow-Brick Path of Crossed Destinies..." Quantos said, gesturing behind him.
"Very well," Ed said. Robo Squirrel beeped behind him.
"Come on, Toto Squirrel. Let's go," Ed said. He marched off down the road, Toto Squirrel hovering behind him and keeping pace.
"Something about this place seems... off..." Ed said, as they passed a cornfield which was there for no real reason.
A faint sigh caught Toto Squirrel's attention. The robot spun around in the air to face the source of the noise, weapons raised. Ed followed suit, holding his ruby evil sword aloft.
They saw a man standing alone in the field, staring into the distance.
The man turned, to face the two travellers.
"Who are you?" Ed asked.
"I think my name is Phil..."
"What seems to be your trouble, Phil?"
"I've lost... my brain. My memories, my past, my mind... it's all gone..." Phil said softly, then turned away from them.
"Follow us! We are searching for a wizard who can return us home. I am certain a man as powerful as that could find your brain," Ed said. Phil smiled at this, and joined the two on the road.
Shortly after that, they came across a man who appeared to be stuck in place on the side of the road. He was muttering to them as they walked by.
The man was large and muscular looking, with a bright blue "BF" emblazoned across his chest.
"...help..." He muttered through clenched teeth.
"What happened to you?" Phil asked.
"...practicing... heroic poses..." Bruteforce said with some difficulty. "...costume... too tight..."
Ed stepped forward and sliced through Bruteforce's belt with his ruby evil sword. The costume loosened, and Bruteforce seemed to loosen up.
"GOD, that feels better," He said, stretching his back.
The four travellers walked along the road for a while, watching the scenery as it passed by.
"Yellow is an unusual colour for a road..." Bruteforce said.
"You think?" Phil replied.
"Do they find bricks that are yellow, or do they make the road, then paint it yellow?"
"I'm not sure..."
"Yellow is the colour of daffodils. Toto Squirrel is ninety seven percent certain that this is correct."
"Yes, thank you, Toto Squirrel..."
They slowed when they saw a figure appear on the road ahead of them. The figure seemed to notice them as well. But instead of curiously stopping, the way that these four did... the stranger yelped and dived into some nearby bushes.
"GAH! Who are you?" He said nervously as they parted the bushes and looked down at him.
"I'm Ed. This is Toto Squirrel. That's Phil. That's Bruteforce. And you are...?"
"R...Rama... Avatar..." The man said, stuttering.
"And what seems to be your trouble, Rama?" Ed asked.
"I don't have any... um... courage..."
Ed extended his hand. "Come with us. We are searching for a powerful wizard. He should be able to help you."
Rama nervously took Ed's hand and lifted himself from the bushes.
Then the wizard appeared on the road before them, because I can't be bothered writing more travelling stuff and it's just easier if he's there now instead of writing all that weird green castle stuff. And the monkeys and flowers... let's just assume Brianna was one of the monkeys and at some point she did something funny. Okay?
The wizard was a large man in a wide hat and a Hawaiin shirt. He looked less than impressive.
"Who are you?" Ed asked.
"I am Piper, the wizard of the path of the castle of crossed destinies!"
"Oh, okay, cool."
"Can you help us?" Phil asked. "I'm missing my brain..."
"Well, here's another one," Kit said, handing Phil a human brain in a plastic bag. "I'm sure it's just as good. And you! What is your problem?" He asked, turning to Rama.
"I need... c... courage..."
Piper reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of bourbon.
"Thank you, kind wizard!" Rama said, accepting the gift.
"And you, what is your problem?" Piper asked, turning to Bruteforce.
"I dunno. I'm just here 'cause I thought the squirrel was funny lookin'."
"You... you're not missing a heart...?"
Bruteforce shrugged. "I'm good."
Piper then turned to face Ed. "And you... what can I do for you?"
Ed sighed. "I need to get home..."
