PJP, get your ass to the back. Your monkey is waiting on you. You've got a main event with Nowhereman coming up and should be concentrating on that. You're barred from the ring until then.
Private, you want a match at the special? You've got it. You and Pig Iron will beat the living hell out of each other in a TLC match. And to make it more interesting, the loser will become the first ever RDCW Bitch of the Month. That's right. The loser will spend exaclty one month being everyone's bitch. You'll wash clothes, run errands, clean toliets, play What's In My Pocket with Bobo Kamphausen, and do any other trivial piece of shit job that I or anyone else in this organization can think of until the next Bitch of the Month match.
And while I'm out here, Statler and Waldorf, you want to come here and flaunt those tag belts from a loser federation in here? How about this? Your belts are on the line in a Tornado Tag match against the NSO. The first to be pinned, submit, or KO'ed from either team loses the belts.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have important things to do.
