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My Family's being torn apart!
I make stars, baby!
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I know,Louie,and you can thank Snarf for that! 
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This last week has been quite possibly the worst week of my life. As I lay here in bed, violently ill, my lovely assistant, Grace, is typing up this message.
My Bastardo Family, that I have worked so hard to build from scratch, appears to have been betrayed by the very person I picked to be the crown jewel of the Bastardo Family. King Snarf, who I worked with night and day, to achieve what I thought was our shared goal of making him the RDCW World Heavyweight Cheese Champion, and building a dynasty that would rule the RDCW for years, seems to have turned on me. Ohhh, Gob, I'm gonna be sick. Grace! Don't type that!
<*Louie left to go puke fifteen minutes ago. Oh, here he comes. . .Grace.>
Now, where were we? After last week's shocking videotape revelation provided to me by one of my other cornerstones of the Bastardo Family, Chris Oakley, I left the Cheesedome in a blind rage last week and immediately boarded my private jet back to the palatial Bastardo Estates in Beverly Hills, CA. I have been hoarded up here in my home for the last week. And now I have taken ill. Also, I think I have an ulcer.
There are those of you who will take this as a sign of the end of the Bastardo Family. Rest assured, that is a word, right, Grace? Okay. . .Don't type that! What's wrong with you?! <*Ass. Grace.> This is not the end, but the beginning. I have suffered many personal setbacks in my life. And I always return stronger. This is only the beginning for the Bastardo Family.
I will make my triumphant return to the Cheesedome at the RDCW Rumble, and rest assured, after the Rumble, the Bastardo Family will be stronger than ever! We will weed out the sickness that has infested the Bastardo Family like a cancer, and emerge stronger. . .like one of those, whaddyacallit? Buttermoth things that come out of the cocoon there. Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna go vomit again. DON'T TYPE THAT!!!!!!!!
<Jerk. Grace.>
Sincerely,
Louis J. Bastardo
January 24th, 2005
I make stars, baby!
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See what Snarf's treachery has done to his former ally! Such desciablness cannot go unpunished!
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I agree! Hey, what does descableness mean? 
The Madman says: "that's fucked up. that ain't right."
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Los Azules are finished!
Chris Oakley is finished!
James Fantastic is finished!
Ian Bond is finished!
Anyone who wishes to stand against Senor Bastardo is finished! All will fall before the Chokeslam of El Superbeasto!
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Do you understand now, Chris? You will never wear my title belt! You will never wear King Snarf's title belt! As a matter of fact, why am I saying anything now? The Family walked away victorious tonight! There's celebrating to do now...setting you idiots straight can wait until tomorrow!
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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You forgot one thing, Joe!
With Johnny Evil on your side, you habve incurred the wrath og the RDJL!
EAT JUSTICE, BOY!!!
SPANDEX MONKEY MAN!!!!!
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Quote:
El Superbeasto said:
Los Azules are finished!
Chris Oakley is finished!
James Fantastic is finished!
Ian Bond is finished!
Anyone who wishes to stand against Senor Bastardo is finished! All will fall before the Chokeslam of El Superbeasto!
You do realize,of course,that you're deluding yourself,sir.The Bond Brigade shall have the last laugh.
God Save The Queen!
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We already are 15000+ posts
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How many cocks do you have to suck to join the Bond Brigade?
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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 Waitaminnit...how are you able to talk?
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Quote:
James_Fantastic said:
You forgot one thing, Joe!
With Johnny Evil on your side, you habve incurred the wrath og the RDJL!
EAT JUSTICE, BOY!!!
SPANDEX MONKEY MAN!!!!!
Wrong ID.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Actually, that is also my secret summoning signal, like the batsignal but louder.
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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We already are 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Joe Mama said:
Waitaminnit...how are you able to talk?
nosfdniogsndlk nasd kmewskmjfslknwsf ,wfe l MMMMAAAAAAMMMMMMAAAAAAA
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My ears are still ringing from the first time. 
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Why are your ears ringing from sucking cock?
I think you mistake your mouth for your ear!
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I...don't have a response for that.
<sub>Will Eisner's last work - The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of ZionRDCW Profile"Well, as it happens, I wrote the damned SOP," Illescue half snarled, "and as of now, you can bar those jackals from any part of this facility until Hell's a hockey rink! Is that perfectly clear?!" - Dr. Franz Illescue - Honor Harrington: At All Costs"I don't know what I'm do, or how I do, I just do." - Alexander Ovechkin</sub>
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Quote:
Ian Bond said:
Quote:
El Superbeasto said:
Los Azules are finished!
Chris Oakley is finished!
James Fantastic is finished!
Ian Bond is finished!
Anyone who wishes to stand against Senor Bastardo is finished! All will fall before the Chokeslam of El Superbeasto!
You do realize,of course,that you're deluding yourself,sir.The Bond Brigade shall have the last laugh.
The Bond Brigade is nothing! Already I have defeated Senior Perdicion and El Daga multiple times in lucha libre! I am not afraid of them! I am not afraid of you! All enemies of Senor Bastardo will fall before El Superbeasto!
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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Quote:
James_Fantastic said:
You forgot one thing, Joe!
With Johnny Evil on your side, you habve incurred the wrath og the RDJL!
EAT JUSTICE, BOY!!!
SPANDEX MONKEY MAN!!!!!
I spit on your puny RDJL!
Those midgets Urg and Hulk are nothing before the Giant Luchadore, El Superbeasto!
I will destroy all of you putas. Greetings from El Superbeasto.
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As a great man once said, "evil will always
triumph because good is dumb."
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Have you losers and wannabes figured it out yet? Quite simply, I have assembled the greatest faction in the history of the RDCW. As a great man once said "Louie Bastardo is a genius!"  Look at what we have accomplished already. Johnny Evil! The brand spanking new Lightweight Faggot Champion! Sneaky Bunny! Women's Boobie Champion! Ahh, my little Bastardo Bunny.  The Fear and Loathing Trophy! A tag team tournament dominated by the two most dominant forces in the RDCW today! Joe Mama! The Intercuntenintal Champion! The Enforcer! King Snarf! The longest reigning and greatest RDCW World Champion in history! The Crown Jewel of the Bastardo Family! And SD6 wants to kidnap me?! Wants to put their grubby little fingers on my person?! They can't compete!!! At Rehash, it's gonna be over for SD6! The Legbreakererses! My Legbreakererses are gonna teach those incompetent screwups Tommy and James Fantastic what real "made men" are all about! Enjoy the rest of your short careers, losers! El Superbeasto! The biggest and mightiest of all luchadores! At Rehash, he will finish off not one, but two of the Family's enemies! Oakley, my renegade son, El Superbeasto will finally put you out of your misery. Say hello Los Putas when you see them in the hospital! And Nowhereman, you didn't think I'd forgotten about you and your little shenanigans a few months back, did you? Not at all! Now El Superbeasto will finish you for good and bring the EuroTrash title home at the same time! It's good to be a Bastardo!
I make stars, baby!
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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As my dear mother always said "Fuck off you cunt!"
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Quote:
Louie Bastardo said:
Have you losers and wannabes figured it out yet? Quite simply, I have assembled the greatest faction in the history of the RDCW. As a great man once said "Louie Bastardo is a genius!"
Look at what we have accomplished already.
Johnny Evil! The brand spanking new Lightweight Faggot Champion!
Sneaky Bunny! Women's Boobie Champion! Ahh, my little Bastardo Bunny.
The Fear and Loathing Trophy! A tag team tournament dominated by the two most dominant forces in the RDCW today!
Joe Mama! The Intercuntenintal Champion! The Enforcer!
King Snarf! The longest reigning and greatest RDCW World Champion in history! The Crown Jewel of the Bastardo Family!
And SD6 wants to kidnap me?! Wants to put their grubby little fingers on my person?! They can't compete!!! At Rehash, it's gonna be over for SD6!
The Legbreakererses! My Legbreakererses are gonna teach those incompetent screwups Tommy and James Fantastic what real "made men" are all about! Enjoy the rest of your short careers, losers!
El Superbeasto! The biggest and mightiest of all luchadores! At Rehash, he will finish off not one, but two of the Family's enemies! Oakley, my renegade son, El Superbeasto will finally put you out of your misery. Say hello Los Putas when you see them in the hospital! And Nowhereman, you didn't think I'd forgotten about you and your little shenanigans a few months back, did you? Not at all! Now El Superbeasto will finish you for good and bring the EuroTrash title home at the same time!
It's good to be a Bastardo!
Blah, Blah, Blah. Do all Bastardo's talk this much?
Johnny Evil? A man so hokey his only major feud's been with a superhero! Joining the Bastardo's was a mistake Notwedge!
Sneaky Bunny? Pfah. Was Grace not good enough for you, louie?
Joe Mama? You do know he's gay, don;t you?
And as for Queen Snarf? The guy's a hack! A loser the likes of which have never been seen!
The Legbreakerses are going down, thanks to yours truly!
El Steroidobeasto better hope he never faces me, 'cos believe me, the finest Luchadores have come up against me and lost! Any time you want to, boy, you step into the ring with me and I'll show you what a true flyer can do!
SD-6 are here, and The Bastardo's are history! WHOO!
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Oh, look, little Jimmy Faboo came out of the closet long enough to cry some more! SD6?! SD6?! A bunch of rejects and losers trying to gang up to find enough courage to kidnap a manager because they can't get it done where it counts! Yeah, we're really worried about SD6! So worried that I've given all my limo drivers the day off! Hey, little Jimmy, have you tapped out to any headlocks lately? Who won that lightweight battle royal again? That's right, my boy Johnny Evil!  You wanna mess with Superbeasto? Tell you what, why don't you go down to Tijuana medical and ask Los Putas about how tough he is? Those two broken down losers might be able to tell you, if they have any teeth left in their mouths! SD6.  Boy, why don't you take Sammitch's cock out of your mouth and look around you and see what's going on! You've had your head turned around the wrong way since you got here! No wonder you couldn't cut it in the Family.
I make stars, baby!
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I'll tell you what I see. I see a sad old man trying to act like he's cool by surrounding himself with a bunch of third-rate hacks and cheating them into major titles!
I haven't tapped out of a headlock since...well, ever! And Evil's a cheating sonofabitch! I'm gonna enjoy watching Sapmm whup his ass.
As for Snarf, the man's so bad he couldn't even make it in Worst Wrestling Ever!
There's a word for you, Louie. It's Ring Rat. Look it up, bitch! WHOO!
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Quote:
James_Fantastic said:
I'll tell you what I see. I see that we can't fight the Family in the ring and beat you on our own, so we have to resort to kidnapping you and trying to act like we're cool by crying on each other's shoulders!
I haven't tapped out of a headlock since Snarf beat me in the fifteen minute challenge! And Evil's a true champion!
As for Snarf, the man's so great he's convinced me that I couldn't even make it in Worst Wrestling Ever!
There's a word for me, Louie. It's Ring Rat. Look it up, I'm Tommy's bitch! WHOO!
Face it, little Jimmy, you're a loser and always will be! You and your little butt boy band will never be able to stand in the ring alongside real men like the Family!
I make stars, baby!
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Real men? The Bastardo's? You've gotta be kidding me.
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
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terrible podcaster 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Louie Bastardo said:
SD6. Boy, why don't you take Sammitch's cock out of your mouth and look around you and see what's going on! You've had your head turned around the wrong way since you got here! No wonder you couldn't cut it in the Family.
You know, Louie, there are worse things we could've done to you.  So why don't you shut your yammering pork-trap and get back to work like a respectable manager should? 
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Captain Sammitch, listen closely:
I'm going to end you at Rehash.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Joe Mama said:
Captain Sammitch, listen closely:
I'm going to rear end you at Rehash.
No wonder people think you are queer!
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Listen to the old man talk. So angry and bitter that two of the people he brought into the RDCW have surpassed him. So full of guilt and self-loathing because he can't ride their coattails. Why don't you do yourself a favor, old man, and retire while you still have a LITTLE bit of pride? Just go back to England with your husband (the "real" Captain Howdy) and open a school for wrestlers or tend to your begonias or reminisce over past glories. Because, if you keep running at the mouth, I may be forced to shut you up...again.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Explain surpass to me again,cause last I heard you was little more than Queen Snarfs buttmonkey!
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Let's see... Two-time Inter-Cunt-Inental Title holder (beat YOU for it, then took it back from Chris Oakley) former Eurotrash Title holder (lost it only when YOUR jealousy got the best of you) former Tag-Team Title holder (beat YOU and Grimm for it) Fear and Loathing Tournament winner (you weren't involved, because no one likes you...maybe you should stop propositioning potential partners) Drove many nails, including the final one, into the RwO coffin (YOUR faction, which you assumed I wasn't good enough for...gotta love the irony there) Current enforcer for the Bastardo Family (unlike the R-W-"Grimm and Nowhereman Sh"O, the Family has multiple titles spread out among the ranks, something YOU failed to do) What have you done lately? Face facts, you had a great run when you were GM and could fix things to go your way. But since I beat you for the IC Title, you've been a shadow of your former self. Retire now, before you remind everyone of the Grand Wizard Flair... 
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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The fact that I currently hold the only title you girls dont have,and I did it without having a whole group of buttmonkeys backing me up,says more about how pathetic you all are!
I doubt you can even lift that title on your own,cause your poor chubby arms are only used to lifting burgers & Snarfs tiny cock!
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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The only reason you hold that title is because the person you won it from - Captain Sammitch - owed you one after you won it for him (from me...whatta co-incidence). Of COURSE he's gonna job out for the man who gave him the title in the first place! The fact that we haven't made re-aquiring it a priority should tell you what we think of it and you - we'll win it back in our own sweet time.
Don't you have to perform your wifely duties on Captain Howdy? As an aside, it's nice to see Elton John taking a page from your book and marrying his "partner".
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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And, if I remember correctly, your last run at greatness was while you were GM AND head of the RwO. Must've been nice to "stand alone"...
I don't remember any outside interference when I made you tap out to win my first IC Title. Has Alzheimer's messed with your mind, d'you think?
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Quote:
James_Fantastic said:
Real men? The Bastardo's? You've gotta be kidding me.
We've got the belts. We're the ones who get the job done.
Unlike some pissants who have to resort to kidnapping managers and assaulting broadcasters during temper tantrums because they can't have their way.
Go back to washing cars for a living, kid. It's more suited to your talents, what little you have.
I make stars, baby!
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Quote:
Captain Sammitch said:
Quote:
Louie Bastardo said:
SD6. Boy, why don't you take Sammitch's cock out of your mouth and look around you and see what's going on! You've had your head turned around the wrong way since you got here! No wonder you couldn't cut it in the Family.
You know, Louie, there are worse things we could've done to you. So why don't you shut your yammering pork-trap and get back to work like a respectable manager should?
Why don't you go back to juggling PinkyWing's balls one more time like a respectable fluffer should, before Joe Mama ends your pathetic career at Rehash!
I make stars, baby!
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 28,009 |
Y'know Sammitch, with all the legal troubles you're facing, one would think you'd have the good sense to shut up about the crime you committed. Bragging about it only hurts any chance you have of mercy from the court. Though I may do you a favor at Rehash when I kick the ever-living shit out of you. Juries always favor invalids...
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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