This last week has been quite possibly the worst week of my life. As I lay here in bed, violently ill, my lovely assistant, Grace, is typing up this message.
My Bastardo Family, that I have worked so hard to build from scratch, appears to have been betrayed by the very person I picked to be the crown jewel of the Bastardo Family. King Snarf, who I worked with night and day, to achieve what I thought was our shared goal of making him the RDCW World Heavyweight Cheese Champion, and building a dynasty that would rule the RDCW for years, seems to have turned on me. Ohhh, Gob, I'm gonna be sick. Grace! Don't type that!
<*Louie left to go puke fifteen minutes ago. Oh, here he comes. . .Grace.>
Now, where were we? After last week's shocking videotape revelation provided to me by one of my other cornerstones of the Bastardo Family, Chris Oakley, I left the Cheesedome in a blind rage last week and immediately boarded my private jet back to the palatial Bastardo Estates in Beverly Hills, CA. I have been hoarded up here in my home for the last week. And now I have taken ill. Also, I think I have an ulcer.
There are those of you who will take this as a sign of the end of the Bastardo Family. Rest assured, that is a word, right, Grace? Okay. . .Don't type that! What's wrong with you?! <*Ass. Grace.> This is not the end, but the beginning. I have suffered many personal setbacks in my life. And I always return stronger. This is only the beginning for the Bastardo Family.
I will make my triumphant return to the Cheesedome at the RDCW Rumble, and rest assured, after the Rumble, the Bastardo Family will be stronger than ever! We will weed out the sickness that has infested the Bastardo Family like a cancer, and emerge stronger. . .like one of those, whaddyacallit? Buttermoth things that come out of the cocoon there. Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna go vomit again. DON'T TYPE THAT!!!!!!!!
<Jerk. Grace.>
Sincerely,
Louis J. Bastardo
January 24th, 2005
