RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator

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Frank Burns said:
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!

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MAH DADY LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS THRE
AND HE DIDNT LEAEV MUCH 2 MA AND ME
JUST THIS OLD GUITAR AND AN EMPTY BOTL3 OF BOZE
NOW!111!1! OMG LOL I DONT BLM3 HIM CAUSE H3 RUN AND HID
BUT TEH M3AENST THNG TAHT HA AVER DID
WAS BFORE HE LAFT H3 WENT AND NMAD ME SUA

WEL!!11!!!! OMG WTF H3 MUST O THOUGHT TAHT IS QUIET A JOKA
AND IT GOT A LOT OF LAUGHS FROM A LOTS OF FOLK
IT SEMS I HAD 2 FIGHT MAH WHOL3 LIEF THROUGH
SOME!!!1!1 WTF LOL GAL WUD GIGLE AND ID GET R3D
AND SOMA GUYD LAUGH AND ID BUST HIS HAAD
I TEL YA LIEF ANET EASY FOR A BOY NM3D SUA

WEL1!!! OMG WTF LOL I GREW UP QUIK AND I GREW UP MAH FIST GOT HARD AND MAH WITS GOT KEN
ID ROM FROM 2WN 2 2WN 2 HIED MAH SHM3
BUT11!1!!! OMG WTF LOL I MAED A VOW 2 DA MON AND STARS
TAHT ID SEARCH DA HONKY-2NKS AND BARS
AND KIL TAHT MAN WHO GAEV M3 TAHT AWFUL NM3

WEL1!11! IT WAS GATLINBURG IN MID-JULY
AND I JUST HIT 2WN AND MAH THROAT WAS DRY
I THOUGHT ID S2P AND HAEV MYS3LF A BR3W
AT1!11! WTF AN OLD SALON ON A STRET OF THEYRE AT A TABLE D3ALNG STUD
SAT TEH DIRTY MANGY DOG TAHT NM3D MA SU3

W3L!!111!! OMG I NU TAHT SNAEK WAS MAH OWN SWET DAD
FROM A WORN-OUT PICTURE TAHT MAH MOTHERD HAD
AND I NU TAHT SCAR ON HIS CHEK AND HIS EVIL 3Y3
H3!!11 OMG WTF WAS BIG AND BNT AND GRAY AND OLD
AND I LOK3D AT HIM AND MAH BLOD RAN COLD
AND I SADE MAH NMA IS SUE!11!!11 WTF LOL HOW DO U DO
NOW!11!! UR GONA DEI!

WEL11!111!!1 OMG WTF LOL I HIT HIM HARD RIGHT BTWEN TEH 3YAS
AND HE WENT DOWN BUT 2 MAH SURPRIES
H3 COMA UP WIT A KNIEF AND CUT OF A PEICE OF MAH EAR
BUT!111!! LOL I BUSTED A CHARE RIGHT ACROS HIS TETH
AND WE CRASHAD THROUGH TEH WAL AND IN2 TEH STRET
KIKNG AND A GOUGNG IN TEH MUD AND DA BLOD AND TEH BAR

I!!1! OMG LOL TEL YA IV3 FOUGHT 2UGHER M3N
BUT I RILLY CANT REM3MBR WH3N
HE KIK3D LIEK A MULA AND HE BIT LIEK A CROCODIEL
I11!!! OMG WTF H3ARD HIM LAUGH AND THAN I HEARD HIM CUS
HE WANT FOR HIS GUN AND I PULAD MIEN FIRST
HE S2D THEIR LOKIN AT M3 AND I SAW HIM SMIEL

AND1!!! WTF LOL H3 SADE SON THIS WORLD IS ROUGH
AND IF A MANS GONA MAEK IT HES GOTA B 2UGH
AND I NU I WUDNT B THEYRE 2 H3LP YA ALONG
SO!11!1 LOL I GIEV YA TAHT NME AND I SADE GODBYE
I NU U HAEV 2 GET 2UGH OR DEI
AND ITS DA NM3 TAHT H3LP3D 2 MAEK U STRONG

H3!1111!11 LOL SADE NOW U JUST FOUGHT ON3 HEL OF A FIGHT
AND I KNOW U HAET M3 AND U GOT TEH RIGHT
2 KIL M3 NOW AND I WUDNT BLME U IF U DO
BUT111!1! OMG WTF YA OUGHT 2 THANK MA BFORE I DEI
FOR DA GRAEVL IN YA GUTS AND DA SPIT IN YA EY3
CAUSE IMM TEH SON-OF-A-BITCH TAHT NM3D U SUA

I!!111 GOT AL CHOKAD UP AND I THREW DOWN MAH GUN
AND I CALED HIM MAH PA AND HA CALED ME HIS SON
AND I CME AWAY WIT A DIFER3NT POINT OF VEIW
AND111! OMG I THINK ABOUT HIM NOW AND THEN
3VERY TIEM I TRY AND AVERY TIEM I WIN
AND IF I EVAR HAEV A SON I THINK IMM GONA NME HIM
BIL OR GEORGE111!11!! OMG WTF LOL ANYTHNG BUT SU3!1111!! I STIL HAET TAHT NME1!!!!11! OMG WTF LOL

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The Time Trust said:
THANK U VELO111!!!! LOL I NU THEYRE WAS SOMETHNG MISNG HER31!11!! WTF LOL

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