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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 734
500+ posts
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Posts: 734 |
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband
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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you.
I've changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 15,546
Living the dream 15000+ posts
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Living the dream 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 15,546 |
The last two are the best.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2 |
today i met brian ortiz
the kid was quite spunky
i had no idea tiill i met him
there was anything gayer than
an ass monkey
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
"Hi mom,
I've just been raped by an assmonkey!"
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
Happy Birthday! You're Fired! And your Mom's dead!
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353
Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
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Award-Winning Author 10000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,353 |
Happy Birthday, Grandpa! Now hurry up and die, you social security hoarding old coot!
Knutreturns said: Spoken like the true Greatest RDCW Champ!
All hail King Snarf!
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308 |
Happy 18th birthday!
heres your suitcase!
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
I know today's your birthday
So I got you this fine card
It's got some money stashed inside
So stop squatting in my yard
asshole
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
Dear son,
You're really gay.
Mom and dad.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2 |
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618
Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
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Your death will make me king! 15000+ posts
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 22,618 |
To our precious little girl,
You were born a boy.
-Mom and Dad
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2 |
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
llance
you fat disgusting exhibitionist gay fuck
-llance
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2 |
black guy
im human and your not
also your dumb and need a tutor
-princess elissa
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28
Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 10,919 Likes: 28 |
Dear Humankind,
Thanks for all the veneration and stuff
But you're still going to Hell.
-God
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308
Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 46,308 |
Merry Christmas!
You present this year is a trip to the neverland ranch!
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158
The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,158 |
"Avoid the planet Earth at all costs. Farewell" -- Federation President (Star Trek IV)
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
Roast Jews for Christmas dinner
save their souls and be a winner!
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2
Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
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Educator to comprehension impaired (JLA, that is you) 50000+ posts
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 53,734 Likes: 2 |
i think you guys are making some of these up.......
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,377
6000+ posts
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6000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,377 |
Quote:
I'm Not Mister Mxypltk said:
llance
you fat disgusting exhibitionist gay fuck
-llance
Actually this was the singing telegram I sent to myself for my 21st birthday! The guy did a strip tease and I won't mention what I did...
-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,971
URG am real man! 7500+ posts
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URG am real man! 7500+ posts
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 8,971 |
once over and twice twisted
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,377
6000+ posts
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6000+ posts
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,377 |
Truly sad that they don't say that either because if they did...I"D BE A RICH MAN! A VERY VERY RICH MAN!
-----once over and twice twisted---------
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 33,920 |
BABY YOU'RE A RICH MAN, BABY YOU'RE A RICH MAN TOO!
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