The group heads outside where Wednesday hands Alex the keys to his car. By this time the wife has calmed down with the thought of Alex leaving. He wonders what had gotten her so upset in the first place though.
Wednesday- Alright, I'm sorry I couldn't be more help but I think my place is here with my family.
Wednesday hugs the family around him.
Alex- Yeah I'm sorry you can't help too, but I understand. And thanks again for lending me your car.
Wednesday- Of course. Anything I can do to help. Well it's starting to get pretty late and you've got a lot of work ahead of you, so you'd better head out. Good luck and great meeting you.
Wednesday extends a hand and Centurian shakes it.
Alex- Same here Wednesday. Thanks again.
Alex begins to back out of the driveway. With one arm draped over his wife Wednesday waves with his free hand. No sooner does Alex pull the car out and drive off than does Wednesday pop out from the back.
Wednesday- Are we out of the driveway yet?
Alex jerking in surprise- JESUS!
Wednesday- Hey watch the road man!
Alex caught off guard swerves off the road and plows into a mailbox.
Alex- Oh shit.
Wednesday- Oh that's okay. That was the Johnson's mailbox. They're fucking assholes.
Alex yelling and slamming on the breaks- Wednesday, what the hell are you doing here?
Wednesday's thrown up front by the sudden stop flying right into the dashboard.
Wednesday- Trying to avoid a concussion! Damn, do you even have your license kid?
Alex- Of course I do. Now what are you really doing here?
Wednesday- Look, man. Do you know what it's like to wake up every morning to a beautiful loving wife, to go down and see your adorable well behaved kids and to head out to your advanced high paying job?
Alex- Well, no I guess I don't....
Wednesday- Neither do I!
Alex- What?!?
Wednesday- Alex, I get up at 5:30 every morning to the second. It's become so routine I don't even need an alarm clock anymore. And every week it's the same damn thing; my entire schedule planned out by my wife! I haven't done one thing I've actually wanted to since I've been with her. Plus I've been having sinking suspicions she's cheating on me.... With Mr. Johnson!
Alex- Ohh, poor Mrs. Johnson...
Wednesday- Oh no, she's into the whole threesome thing. Poor Wednesday!
Alex- ...and lucky Mr. Johnson I suppose....
Wednesday- Yeah.
He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up.
Alex disgusted- Since when do you smoke?
Wednesday- Since I've been married. You try staying monogamous without the help of nicotine and see how well you do!
Alex- I'll keep that in mind.... but what about your kid? And I mean, the wife's gotta count for something right?
Wednesday- If she's cheating on me chances are the kids not even mine. I mean, yeah, yeah, I love the family and everything but- God do I freaking hate them. The little brat constantly annoying me after a long day at my shitty job. Then the wife starts in with her piece about how I don't pull my own weight around here and can't provide for her like I should. I'm sick and tired of it!
Alex- But they're your family...
Wednesday grins- Yeah and if what you said is true, they should've never even existed. Look, I'm miserable like this. I always have been. And then you come in from this alternate timeline or whatever and start talking about me living the old superhero slash bachelor life and more than that I'm actually happy. I want that again....
Alex- So I guess there's no way to talk you out of coming with me is there?
Wednesday- No way in hell, kid.
Alex- Good. I'll need your help rounding up the rest of the team. One thing I am curious about though. When I drove away you were there standing with your family, but now here you are in the car.
Wednesday- Ah yes. Just this week special. I can duplicate myself. In fact the double should be disappearing right about now. I put him on a five minute timer.
Alex- Good thinking.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Alex- What's that?
Wednesday- My watch. I have it set to my wifes schedule of checking up on me. Every night at exactly 9:27 the wife comes in the office to catch me still working and tell me she's going to bed.
Alex- Oh.... So hey, what's going to happen when she goes to check up on you and you're no longer there because your duplicate disintegrated.
Wednesday- Oh well she....
Wednesday looks as though he just realized the huge flaw in his plan. His eye's go wide and his face pale.
Wednesday- Oh no.
Alex still relaxed- Ah don't worry about it. We're way to far away for her to stop us now right?
Wednesday- No there's something I forgot to mention. My wife's also a meta-
Wednesday doesn't even get a chance to finish his sentence as the car jumps violently on the road.
Alex- What was that?
Wednesday- The Wife!
