Man Accused Of Raping 37 Men
Associated Press
New Jersey... Man accused of raping 37 men. A local man, Robert Kamphausen, invited over 70 friends and associates to his annual "Watching My Balls Drop" party on New Years Eve. Somewhere between endlessly boring people to tears talking about Nintendo products and The Bat-Man those not drinking left to other parties more fitting of their social standing. Robert cleverly assured everyone left at the party that the women were on the way, and that they would be "good and drunk" when they arrived with his girlfriend, whom no one has ever seen in person. Before the party began Robert apparently introduced a large quantity of an unidentified date rape drug into all of the supplies of liquor in the household, and served as bartender for those drinking beer. Around midnight the males at the party started becoming disorientated and began passing out. Robert Kamphausen is then accused of anally penetrating by force all of the innocent party attendees, all 37. Before he could dispose of the evidence and clean the crime scene the man apparently drank some of his own tainted liquor by mistake. As the men began to awaken Robert was the only one who did not have his trousers below his knees; making himself a likely suspect for the men's painful anal soreness. A quick thinking party goer called 911 so that the crime scene did not turn into a murder scene.The man, who will shall call Rex, who was not as distraught as the other innocent proclaimed rape victims went on record to say " Rob is such a great guy. All he had to do was ask".
The County Prosecutor proclaimed " This is a tragedy, and these 37 men will have their day in court against the accused Robert Kamphausen. We are already building a case by questioning the 9 people who posted on his website and their associated alternate usernames, and we have taken his computer for further investigation". No court date has yet to be established, but Judge Smith has issued bail at $100,000.
