RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Media Saw Constantine yesterday (No spoilers)

I wouldn't say it sucks, it didn't make me fall asleep, but there's something deeply wrong with this movie. I hoped that, even with all the stupid cliches and Keanu moments ("stay in the car", "tell me this isn't about a girl", that catchphrase delivered in three key moments to cause emotivity I can't even remember now), this could still be considered a Hellblazer story... but it can't. It's not even the worst Hellblazer story ever, it simply isn't a Hellblazer story. I can't go into detail without spoiling the ending of this movie and the Garth Ennis comic it's "based" on, "Dangerous Habits", but let's just say the very principle of Hellblazer stories is contradicted, and not in an (this is not the right word) "anarchic" way, like the way superhero comics rules were contradicted in Spider-Man 2.

First the ending is kinda cool, then it's just wrong, then it gets worse, and if you stay after the credits it goes down the crapper. I'm not saying it's bad: it's still entertaining. It's just deeply wrong. The director said he understood the character and would remain true to his spirit even with all the (obviously imposed) changes, but this isn't true. He didn't get what the character is about. One scene makes me think the whole purpose of this movie is making a spin off video game inspired by Resident Evil. That scene is so obviously desgined specifically for the game it's sad.

What's funny (in a pathetic way) is that there's still remaining little moments (not even scenes) from "Dangerous Habits". It's like a way to mock us: "Here's what we could have done, here's what we did. HA-HA!" What's worst, is that Keanu, in my opinion, delivers the part really fucking well in these moments, something that surprises me. Even with the looks and the accent he manages to pull off a decent John Constatine. Of course, two seconds later he goes ahead and ruins it by pulling a Keanu moment...

How was the popcorn?

Any good trailers?

The popcorn was good. I give it an 8 out of 10. Saw the Star Wars trailer (I was hoping for The Bat-Man Be-Gins), and I'm glad I didn't watch it online. That stuff's supposed to be seen in a big screen, otherwise it's worthless.

there won't be any full frontal nudity if that is what you're asking.

I saw the trailer for Batman Begins, Episode III and Hitchhiker's.

The movie was "ehh" at best. And I never touched one issue of Hellblazer.

Mxy: Post spoilers. What about the ending did you think contradicted the character of Constantine?

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A rule in storytelling says that, to avoid happy endings, the protagonist of a story must win something and lose something in the end. In John Constatine's case, his victories are always clever and big, but the thing he loses always hurts him deeply, it makes him wonder if his victory was worth it. We see this pattern in all important Hellblazer stories, even the original one, Swamp Thing's American Gothic, that establishes the pattern by making him lose most of his friends and his loved one. Another example is the unmade Twilight of the Super-Heroes, where to get back at being manipulated by his older self, he fucks him in the ass by ignoring the woman he knew would have been the love of his life, and the only comfort John would have in the years to come. Finally, "Dangerous Habits", where the loss is more metaphorical than material: John tricks the triumvirarate that rules hell to cure him from his cancer and ensures his practical immortality, but when he goes visit the old man he met in the hospital while sick, he finds the cancer has killed him. He falls on his knees while walking in the street under the rain and cries, aware of the injustice and sensing he's lost something.

So, the logic thing for the story would have been for Angela to die and for Chas to survive, since it's obvious John cared a lot more for Angela than he did for Chas. Angela's death would have hurt him, Chas' apparently didn't. It's ironic that the only character that always survives and stays by John's side in the comic is the only "important" death in this movie (though it's an almost unrecognizable version of the character). Ennis' story has been perverted beyond recognition: instead of slicing his veins to save himself like in the comic, John needs an excuse to do it in the movie, so he does it to save the world and at the same time to save Angela.

The thing that represents the difference between both stories is a very simple fact: after being cured from the cancer, the first thing John does in the comic is smoke a cigarette. In the movie, he chews a nicotine gum and fucking smiles. That's bullshit, and that stupid Keanu smile on his face is the proof that Chas' death doesn't mean shit. In the comic he ends up crying, in the movie he's smiling. This is a self-destructive character, and with a good reason; he understands the curse of killing everyone he cares about better than anyone. He would never do something like quit drinking or smoking, because he's aware that it kills him. Having John continue smoking at the end of Dangerous Habits is what separates the comic from a well-written extremely clever anti-smoking pamphlet. The same can't be said for the movie. Except it's not clever or well-written.

Now, I have no problem with these rules being contradicted, as long as it's in a thoughtful way that makes sense and not just to fit Hollywood's standards. Spider-Man 2 was closer to this when breaking the rules of superhero comics. It's ironic that a Spider-Man movie is deeper in that sense than a "Hellblazer" movie.

thanks a fucking lot i never saw the movie yet!

Blame Danny! He's a fucktard, you know.

Danny is a.... oh, nevermind.

Saw it yesterday. I liked it. I never read the comic (could never get into it), so I was able to enjoy it well 'nuff as a movie. It wasn't anything very unique, but it was still enjoyable.

whoa.

Glad you could stand it Parys.....I can't handle horror *shivers at the thought!*. Even the trailer was freaky!

Good review Mxy. I won't bother with the movie. But I will buy Dangerous Habits.

lols

:P