RKMBs Forums .::Important::. off topic and offensive posts The doctors have given me two weeks to live

Heh!

I can't remember if that was a legit post or a copy and paste spam.

I think this was still during your whole 'is this how it's going to be from now on' phase.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread

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For hundreds of years people have been awed by the bright lights and big noise of fireworks. The ancient Chinese used fireworks at festivities and to frighten enemies in battle. Captain John Smith set them off in Jamestown in 1608, enjoying a bit of English popular entertainment and impressing Native Americans.Legend has it that the Chinese made the first fireworks in the 800s, filling bamboo shoots with gunpowder and exploding them at the New Year with the hope that the sound would scare away evil spirits. According to tradition, Marco Polo brought this technology back to Europe.It's fair to say, however, that the origins of fireworks are shrouded in smoke; the China story is widespread, and possibly true, but fireworks may in fact have developed in India or the Arab world. Fireworks became known in Europe during the 1300s, probably after returning Crusaders brought them from the East.By the 1400s Florence, Italy, was the center of fireworks manufacturing. At this time fireworks were just one effect in a celebration rather than its focus. At religious festivals Italians made plaster figures that spewed fireworks from their eyes and mouths. The 1533 coronation parade for Anne Boleyn included a papier-mache dragon that belched fire. During the 1700s displays became more elaborate and were popular with European royalty. French king Louis XV ordered extravagant displays of fireworks at Versailles, and Russian czar Peter the Great put on a five-hour show after the birth of his son. Meanwhile, in the American colonies settlers used fireworks to mark happy occasions. Early fireworks were enjoyed more for the sound than the show—in its simplest forms gunpowder explodes quickly, leaving a terrific bang but not much to see other than a rather brief golden glow. Over time people discovered that using chemical compounds with greater amounts of oxygen made the explosives burn brighter and longer. The multi-hued displays we know now began in the 1830s, when Italians added trace amounts of metals that burn at high temperatures, creating beautiful colors. Other additives also produced interesting effects. For example, calcium deepens colors, titanium makes sparks, and zinc creates smoke clouds.

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As the economy continues to suffer a growing number of people are opting to
publicly pray about their every day tribulations. In Rockville, Md., local resident Rocky Twyman, 59, had heard enough from both fellow peers and the Holy Spirit.After hearing complaints about the rising gas prices from fellow volunteersat a local soup kitchen, Twyman, a long time activist, said he needed to do something.Twyman hit the streets and began campaigning for what now is nationally called the "Pray Down The High Gas Prices Movement." Beginning in the Maryland area, he and local and spiritual supporters went to gas stations with permission from the owners, gathered around the pumps cipher-style, and sang, prayed and also recruited paying customers. Once the media caught wind of Twyman's effort to introduce religion as a solution to the suffering economy versus bureaucratic dialogue, the prayergatherings grew both nationally and internationally.

A mallard duck mounted an epic rescue mission to recover her six chicks when they were washed down a storm drain.The ducklings seemed doomed when they were swept away from their mother down a drain cover in Newcastle, reports the Daily Mail.However, their determined parent refused to accept their loss, and followed their cheeps for over a mile, across roads, roundabouts, rail lines, two school fields and the grounds of a hospital.Eventually they came to a halt, and the unnamed mother duck stood guard by the manhole cover above them - for four hours.Jogger Peter Elliott, 59, had noticed the quacking mother as he set out, but was confused to find her still patrolling the same area upon his return.His two-year-old grandson James heard the stranded ducklings when he came out with his mother Vicki, 30, to investigate.Mr Elliott, his son-in-law Rob Jefferson, 30, and neighbour, Jim Calder, 62, armed themselves with a crowbar and other tools and set about rescuing the ducklings.

"We managed to haul this heavy manhole cover up and saw six little ducklings scrabbling around in the drain," said Mr Elliott. "We got a little fishing net from the house and lifted each duckling out in turn.