so yesterday i was going to go to the mall to met two of my best freinds. we dont get together that much cause they both live about an hour away from me plus they are both married and have kids. so we where all going to go to the mall for light up night where they light up all the christmas decorations and such then hang out for awhile. well me and boo where at pizza hut down the road when my best freind calls me. shes like Lor, Jasons here with some blonde chick..
oi. i was teasing her about spying on him for me and she laughs and tells me she is lol. oh golly got to love her. but anyway well i apologize and say well i guess im not gonna come over then cause i dont want to see that or be around that she says thats fine she understands.
i tell boo he getts annoyed that hes stoping me from going with my plans.. he says come on lets go and ill beat the shit out of him for you lol oh golly got to love him.
i tell him hes with that blonde chick which only confirms my sispisions. cause i wasnt sure if his new girlfriend was the chick from walmart that plays dungons and dragons or this other chick hes been hanging out with from his new job. now see i wouldnt have a problem with the other chick cause that means he met her only after he went to work with his new job after he left me.
i do how ever have a problem with the blonde chick, not her spacifically cause even if she may have had a hand in him leaving me he was the one who made the ultimate decsion. this only means that what i heard was true, he left me and imedately went out with her or like boo said who knows if he was seeing her while we where still together cause he worked with her at walmart...
my bestfreind said that i should have slapped him the day i saw him to close out the account and to get my stuff. lol God bless her.
im not dumb and hes a fool for thinking that prehaps i am. gaw i cant stand thinking that i was played like that by the man i was engaged to none the less. what a fucking son of a bitch bastard ass whole scum bag.
boo was furious at him. he said there is no excuse for cheaters, once a cheater always a cheater. he said he cant be freinds with someone like that. i apologized for causeing him to hate him so much. he said "babe its no big deal its not your fault, you didnt do it. it was his actions that did it." God bless him too and hes right. we talked about how hes already in her pants, and probolly lied to get in them. cause i can tell you exactully what and how things went, from his past and from expereince and that pisses me off to no end.
so needless to say my stomack hurts so bad today from thinking all night about that. i hate this. i want to walk up to him back hand him, punch him in the gut, knee him in the nuts, call rape on his ass, throw him in jail for life and let him rot in his own misible hell. *sigh* people like him should be shot.
no one i mean no one plays me like that, but theres nothing i can fucking do about it, legally anyway lol. oi. fuck. i have so many mixed emotions right now, my heart hurts, my body screams for blood, my mind races with thoughts of the past and thoughts of destruction, i want to cry, rip somthing to sheads, hide under the covers until i no long exsist. so many emotions...
*sigh* dont worry im not going to do anything stupid. i just, i just wish i could or something would happen to him something to pay him back for that he did to me, it wasnt right. what i hate the most is being fucked over like that, not him, not her, not anything but being fucked over like that and not being able to do a damn thing about it. why, why does that always happen to me, why is it people think its okay to walk all over Lor, do i have a big fucking sign over my head that says "its okay mess with this one, she wont do a damn thing about it!" and why cant i, why cant i do over to his house late at night slash his mommys tires, bust out a few windows and make their lives living hell for a while for what that whole fucking family did to me, treated me!
gaw. i fucking hate this.
