RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat -((Random Interview #9))- : Wednesday

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Wednesday


1) What is your full name?

My full name is Jason E. Perkins. The name Jason means “healer,” you see. My mom wanted her little bundle of joy to be a doctor some day. HA! Fool on her. Death makes me queasy.

Don’t worry about the E.

"Elliot"? "Edwin"? "Ecobar"? "Eluscius"? "Evolutionary Elite"?

Don’t worry about the E.

...fair enough...

My mom’s maiden name wasn’t Perkins, but it wasn’t my dad’s original last name either. He was born a Mompremeire (or something like that). He only changed it because my mom wanted her kids to have nice American names, just like all those white kids on TV.

God bless the ignorance behind that decision.

2) Where do you currently reside?

Your momma's house.

HA!

Yeah, I know a lot of people have been wondering. I don’t really like to talk about it. But for you, Promiscuous, I’ll make an exception.

You're living with my mother, and I'm the one who is promiscuous......?

I was born at a very young age in Miami, Florida. I lived the first part of my life in a pretty bad neighborhood, but one day the folks saw it fit to move to a better part of town. We were still living in the city when I decided to join the military. I spent six year there, bouncing from Orlando to South Carolina to Virginia. That’s when I boarded a ship and toured the world. But in the end I had to admit that Florida was home. So I moved back to Miami, then to Pembroke Pines, just north of Miami. That’s where I live till the end of this summer when I’ll move back down south again.

I didn't dislike Miami but I didn't like it either.

I really like living in Pembroke Pines, though.

3) And I really liked living at my mother's house during my childhood. No rent. How about you? How do you pay the rent?

I’m a mortgage broker and a college student. My dad brought me into the mortgage business a few years back and, after all is said and done, it definitely pays the bills. It provides good money and a flexible schedule but it’s not what I wanna do.

Right now, I’m going to Florida International University for my bachelors in Computer Science and I wanna keep working until I earn that doctorate. Doctor Perkins. Fuck yeah! I’ll spend the rest of my life coming up with theories and designs and other cool crap and making speeches for a lot of money till my throat hurts.

In a perfect world, though, I’d write fiction—all kinds. Character driven stories that mean something. Oh, and I’d get paid like a motha fucka.

Yup.

4) I'm in the mortgage business, too. Escrow specialist. And, honestly, I hate you fucking brokers. You make my job just that much harder. Now, since we're talking hate, let's talk racism. As an African-American, I would imagine you would have a specific insight into the areas of racism, equality, and the like. I want to ask a multi-faceted question here, as I don't think just a simple one-two question would truly cover it.

Does your race define you in your day-to-day life, or, is it as irrelevant to you as, say, being a blonde or a brunette? If so, in what ways does being "black" differ from being, say, "Greek" or "Italian"? Is it all down to a shared history, or, is there a strong African 'identity' that holds common traits with all African-Americans? Do you personally find that racism still exists in a prevalent manner where you live? What about so-called 'reverse-racism', where non-blacks feel persecuted....truth or fantasy? And, would you consider the internet...a faceless, voiceless, anonymous area of communication...the great equalizer? Go into detail.

I think to deny that race is more important than hair color is just silly. Even if you don’t believe in race, per se, you have to acknowledge that the idea of race, whether or not it’s important to you, is very important to many.

Being black means a lot to me. It is not the end all and be all of my identity, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone with two good eyes who wouldn’t see what race I am instantly.

Which is a big part of the problem. I’m black but I don’t act stereotypically black. I swear, the next guy who comments with shock and awe that I’m just so articulate is getting the beatdown to end all beatdowns.



But back to blacks in general, we’ve had a hard time in America. We came here as slaves, fought alongside others for our freedom and then we got it. YAY! But then we were told to simply go out and make due, as if the playing field had been somehow leveled.

It ain’t level.

I don’t think the current system of quotas and financial support is working, though. It has the horrible side effect of making many of us lazy.

I think the difference between being black and being just about anything else is that other races have a stronger sense of community. We have a strong sense of family, but not as strong a sense of community, I think. I’m not Greek, or Italian, or Japanese, but it’s always seemed to me that Greeks hail successful Greeks as an affirmation of what a Greek can do with a good amount of effort. Italians hail successful Italians. Same if you’re Japanese, or just about anything else. Not so if you’re black. We hate on each other. If we see one of our own making it, we hate that member of our own like no other race can.

We’re getting better at supporting each other, though.

That and blacks are at the bottom of the pecking order. We’re considered the bane of American society in many ways. There’s always a light being shone on the worst of us. We’re taboo to date, much less marry. It’s okay for us to entertain you on stage or on the court but keep us away from your valuables.

Yeah, racism is prevalent in southern Florida. Heck, Jamaicans hate Haitians and vice versa. Cubans hate Puerto Ricans and vice versa. It’s insane crazy! But don’t cry for me, Argentina. I myself refuse to cry about it. I just whine a little. And I nod my head and sigh because none of the hate and ignorance makes any real sense.

And neither does “reverse” discrimination, which by the way is just as true as any the other type. Let me tell you, we black people hate you. I can’t tell you everything, but let’s just say that ecretsay ocietysay, evolutionray omingcay.

But either way racism is racism, and inexcusable. Doesn’t matter if it’s in response to racism against yourself. That’s just stoopid.

The internet does level things, true. People used to figure I was white cuz I can rub words together. Then I’d show my picture and WHOA!!!!! Nowadays, I let it be known on the net that I’m black from the get-go. Why hide it? And the Huey avatar helps. I try not to throw the blackness in anyone’s face, though. That would suck.

Okay, I’m lying. I throw it in your faces all the time. And I enjoy it.

HA!

That was my short answer.

5) I see. I think one day I should release the 'Director's Cut' of this interview, so that I can read your long answer. Moving on, can God make a rock that He cannot lift?

I dunno. If I were to take a stab I’d say there is no rock that God can’t lift…unless God wills it so. I figure God makes the rules, so if God wants such a rock to exist, it will. Then, God can turn around, rewrite the rules, and lift that rock with a proverbial pinky.

6) Who or what is your greatest inspiration? Why?

The naysayers. All my life people have been telling me what I can and can’t hope to accomplish. Classmates, friends, even teachers would tell me that things other people could do were impossible for me. So every time I want to give up, I think of them.
Fuckers.

7) Ha! Well played. What is your biggest pet peeve in the world? What about on these boards?

Closed-mindedness is my biggest pet peeve. I hate it in others and I hate it in myself. It urks me when I see people who can’t see the opposing point of view. And looking at many of my posts in the Deep Thoughts forum, I hate the closed-mindedness in me too. I mean, too much open-mindedness just means a lack of conviction, but there’s gotta be a happy medium somewhere.

I’m working on that too.

8) Fight Club time! If you could get into a fist-fight with anyone on these boards, who would it be?

First, let me be absolutely clear about something: I’m a lover not a fighter. I make peace, not war. A gentle lift against the chin is worth ten bitch slaps against the cheek. You like that last one? I made it up myself!

Cha-Ching!

I like 99.74% of the people on these boards…sorta. I wouldn’t fight any of you. If I did, though, please believe me I’d thrash any one of you soundly.

BELIEVE THAT!

How do I know that? you ask. Good question, poser. You might be bigger than me and you might even be faster than me. Fuck, some of you might even know karate or kung-fu, but you know what? I know kick-a-motha-fucka-in-the-crotch-and-run!

And I WILL kick you, bitches.

All that said, if I had to get into a fist-fight with someone on these boards, I’d choose Uschi, because Uschi’s a scientist and scientists are pussies.

9) She'll out-brain you! Better watch it! And, on the subject of love, we come to a very personal question (cue Barry White soundtrack) : How old were you the first time you got laid? Be honest! Where did it happen? Also, talk about 'love' for me. What does it mean to you, and/or do you think you have experienced it?

I was a late bloomer and didn’t get laid until I was 19 years old. I was in the Navy and had just been stationed in South Carolina for training. I met this girl through a few chance happenings and we fell for each other. Our first time was in my bedroom in the apartment I was renting.

We were inseperable after that. We ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss. The world was our burrito.

Love rocked!

So we got married and got ourselves a nice apartment in VA. She wanted two kids. I threatened to name one of them Superfly Jr.

Then things shattered. His name isn’t important but what she did with him is. We tried to piece our marriage back together, in our own fucked up way, but jagged glass cuts, and it cuts deep. To end this analogy she finally dropped the pieces to the floor and gave up.

Love sucks ass.

10) asks: James T. Kirk or Jean-Luc Picard?

Thanks for asking.

On the one hand, Kirk was in many ways the epitomic man. As I’ve said before, he balanced logic with humanity. You need someone who can convince a woman to betray her entire race in just under 15 seconds? Kirk was THE MAN. He was James Tiberius Kirk and you knew it. If any captain would be a Federation legend, it was him.

And Picard. As far as being a captain goes, Picard was quite simply the best captain Trek has ever seen. He defined his ship. He didn't take shit, so his crew didn't take shit. When he was serious, the entire crew took note and acted accordingly. He spoke down to a being of infinite knowledge and power. He violated The Prime Directive for breakfast. He was both a bad ass and the ultimate authority figure.

Picard was the dad everyone wished they had. Kirk was your cool, single uncle. Kirk was Fonzie with a mind-boggling I.Q. Picard was bald, as all real men are (I’ll make exceptions to this rule for Kirk and my dad). Kirk wrestled down the best of them.

I’m glad I could answer your question.

_{Here we see Wed.........STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU!! Don't turn around, bitch...shhhh...don't turn around...}

11) With the current G8 Summit group deciding to release $40 billion in debt to third-world countries ravaged by extreme poverty, do you consider this to be an ample gesture? Or, could/should they do more?

This $40 billion is the best thing G8 has done in a very long time. Sadly, that won’t be enough, but I hope this is just the beginning. I don’t want to diminish what’s been done, it truly is a great and uber-wonderful thing, but I hope we do more. Nations such as Africa need a lot of help. Otherwise, they will sink right back into yesterday’s status quo in a matter of a decade.

On top of that, there are a lot of other dictators in nations like Africa who aren’t sitting on oil but are doing just as bad or worse than the guy we just spent billions of dollars and way too many lives unseating. Yup, we got rid of one set of bad guys. Yay! Now I guess we’ll turn this profit we’ve been denying and use at least some of it to help other nations and unseat those other bigger, badder, and more immediate “threats to democracy,” right?

YAY!

12) What is the single most important thing to you in your life? This could be a person, an object, an idea, a concept, etc. What is yours?

You know, I don’t have a really good answer for that. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do without my car or cell phone and God forbid something should happen to my dear compy, but I’d live.

And I guess my body ranks way up there. I’m always worried about it. If I get too fat, it’s on my mind non-stop. In fact, I’m too fat right now…and it’s on my mind. And if I lost one of my senses or the ability to walk or a limb, please shoot me. Yeah, my body is the second most important thing, easy.

But if anything happened to a member of my family, I’m afraid I’d just break down. Seriously, I’d shut down for a good long while. I hope that I’d recover after a period of mourning, but I’m not too sure.

13) Let's talk comic books. Why do you collect/read comics? What's the passion? What do you love most about them? What do you hate the most? And, who is your favorite comic book character of all time, and why?

I read comic books because I’m addicted. Comic books are visual crack. I hate comic books. They take my money. They take my time. Then I have to deny them to my women. I spit on them (the comic books, not the women…unless they ask me to, which is weird).

Shit, it's like you're reading my mind....especially with the spitting on the women thing...

Juuuust kidding.

......oh....ummm....go on, then....

I love comic books. What do I love about them? The escape. They let me soar above the rooftops, battle bad guys in faraway lands, and all that campy shit. Love ‘em. I love ‘em because I love a good story and comic books have some of the best stories around.

Plus the art. I love good art. I’m a visual person. Oh yes.

What do I hate about ‘em? They’re political. And I don’t mean that they’re liberal or conservative. Fuck that bullshit. I mean that superhero comic book stories often tailor themselves to the fanboy, and we all know fanboys don’t know shit.

WOLVERINE IS TEH COOL AND HE COULD KIL STUPERMAN CUZ ADAMANTINUM IS THE R0X0RS!!!11

And can we please move on?! How much have the DCU and MU progressed in the last ten years? Twenty? Thirty?

Seriously.

14) Yes, adamantium IS "the roxors!!!11".......and so is this next question: What is the greatest success and failure of your life? Personal or other. Why?

My greatest failure? That’s an easy one: my marriage. Things went from great to horrid in a flash and I can’t honestly say that a good part of that wasn’t my fault. Everything fell apart and if I could do any part of my life over again, that would be it.

My greatest success would be picking myself up after the divorce. I was a shambles at first. I ran around with girls I hardly knew, looking for something with each that wasn’t there to be found. I wasn’t helping me at all. But, eventually, I realized that the past was the past and that I have to move on, and that I had to do so in the right way. I only have one life to live, after all, so I became determined to make the best of it. Moved back home to Miami, started school, and did things for me—things to improve myself.

I’m still working at it but this is the best I’ve ever felt. For the first time in my life things are happening.

There really is life after divorce .

15) I was wrong. THAT "roxors!!!11".

Partisan politics. Bueacratic redtape. Political corruption. Unpopular wars. In your opinion, are these the major problems that plague our government in the 21st century, or, is it something more? If not, what is, and why? Also, what would be the defining factor that makes us so unpopular with other countries?

I think America’s biggest problem is the fact that we have gone back into isolationist mode. The idea that we can do it all on our own has never helped us before, and it won’t help us now. Yep, America’s the best but we’re not perfect, and we’ve failed to remember that lately. We need to step up, accept that we’re not always right, and change things for the better. Put my dad, Prometheus, and First Amongst Daves in charge. Meanwhile PJP and I will be the ones really running things from our secret syndicate in the shadows.

*Muhaha*

16) I am so fucking down with that answer I can't even begin to explain. While I think about it, you think about this: As an expert of the 'Hot Celebrity Female', with you being the mod of the Women's Forum and all, who would you say is your favorite?

Triple or nothing. I’ll give you three.

Adriana Lima




Good God almighty!

Mariah Carey.




She’s a prissy little bitch, I know, but I’d make her hit the crazy notes.

You know, individually, her parts don’t meet my fancy, but my third choice (and maybe my favorite) is Shakira…




God bless that hot piece of Colombian ass.

Funny thing is, blondes don’t usually peak my fancy.

17) I'll go the distance with you on Lima. She's my little slice of heaven. How about you? If there is a heaven, what would be your paradise?

See my previous answer.

Juuuuust kidding. However, truth be told, I’m not so sure there really is anything after death. And I’m okay with that. Strangely enough, though, the possibility that there is nothing beyond life doesn’t scare me one bit. Death is gonna happen. I don’t fear my own. And the finality of it just means that what I accomplish here on Earth is that much more important.

Buuuut I’m definitely open to the idea that there is more to existence than the physical plane. True, I’ve never seen anything that tells me for sure that there’s something more than this world, but I haven’t seen anything that says for sure that there isn’t.

But even then, why Heaven and/or Hell? Heaven isn’t much more than a promise that we’ll be rewarded with…stuff if we do good. Well, so is Santa Claus. Neither idea ever sat well with me. Still, Heaven is possibility. I’m just not banking on it.

I do like to believe, though, that after death we’ll reach a state of consciousness unlike anything humanly known or imagined. Memory, emotion, the sense of time and place, those are all tools used for individual survival, tools which aid in the propagation of our species—nothing more. Plus they are all tied to the human body, which, in the end, gets turned into worm food. Thus, our souls would be beyond any of the things we use to communicate with the physical world around us, and I think that’s kinda cool.

But I’ll just end this with one guarantee: no matter what, IF THERE IS A HEAVEN IT IS SURELY MADE OF CHEESECAKE.

Oreo

Cookie

Cheesecake.

18) Okay, here's a paragraph to rant. The choice of subject: The current state of the Star Trek franchise, or, the state of the comic book industry. Annnnnnnd GO!

The current state of the Star Trek franchise blows donkey doo! Star Trek started off great. The first three shows were magnificent in their own rights. Then, the money grubbin’ producers got greedy (they do that) and started milkin’ that cash cow for all they could. They saturated the market with Trek shows, books, and movies and the quality suffered greatly. There’s only so much water you can get from any well and they tapped that one dry.

If I was in control, I’d wait. Give it five to ten years, then come back strong. Some people who shall remain nameless, Prometheus, figure they should make the next Trek dark and gritty, mirroring the likes of Battlestar Galactica and other such shows. I disagree. That’s not Trek. That’s not Roddenberry. If they were going to make a show like that, make another Battlestar Galactica. Milk that cow, bitches.

I don’t think the problem was the tone of the later series. It was the quality of the stories, first and foremost. They got repetitive. Trek was becoming more and more of a rehash of things they’d already done. Sure, the formula was proven but it had already been done. Give it time, I say, then bring it back with fresh, new writers with innovative ideas. That’s what made the first Trek sci-fi dynamite. Get the writers people love, Phillip K. Dick, Bradbury, Michael Swanwick, and more, to write their own episodes, like the original Trek had. And put together an ensemble cast the likes of TNG and DS9, and settle for nothing less. Never a carbon copy, mind you, but do the next series with the goal of being both different and better than what has come before. It’s Trek, after all.

In other words, I would stop trying to cut corners for the sake of the biggest possible profit.

I’d do it for the kids.

19) MY TREK WOULD ROCK YOU MUTHERF---......uh...ahem. Anyway......Why do you come here? What is it about Rob's Board's that make you want to come back every day? Any posters you want to mention or talk about?

I do it for the kids.

All of you bring me back, even the ones I don’t particularly care for. That’s right, even the ones I don’t care for, because, in the end, you’re all amazing to watch and interact with.

If I’m gonna name people, I gotta start with the members of the JLR writing team—Britannica, Chant, Stupid Doog, Centurian, Ace, Fused, Kaz, Hybrid, The Watcher, Spandex Monkey Man, TTT, Midnight, and all the others I might have missed. I came to Rob’s board with you. You’re, like, my RKMBs siblings…or something. And I know I haven’t written in a while, but I’m still here guys.

Guys?

Then there are people like PJP who are always great conversation. When he went on vacation, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I mean, who am I supposed to get my moderator instructions from? Move what? Make everyone think G-man deleted what? I just don’t know any more.

PJP 4 PREZ!

I think Rob should mention MrJLA in his blog.

rex has done more for these boards than people give him credit for. I’m glad he’s a mod now. I would say helps brighten up my day, but that’s sappy hippy shit and won’t be tolerated in my post.

Then there’s Pariah/Uschi. I like to watch him/her talk to him/herself.

Then there are the womens. Oh my God, the womens. I already listed Pariah/Uschi who is kinda a woman, but have to mention PrincessElisa, sneaky buns, and Lor. Yeah, I know PE is gone and she’ll never read this, but I wanna take this time to announce that we’re getting married next July. I love you honey! She meant nothing to me!

Okay, I’m done. I gotta leave people out or this could get exponentially worse.

20) In the legendary novels The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, author Douglas Adams states the answer to life, the universe, and everything is, simply, "42". What's your answer?

69. Duh!

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Joe Mama said:
Waitaminnit...he's BLACK?!?

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Then there are the womens. Oh my God, the womens. I already listed Pariah/Uschi who is kinda a woman, but have to mention PrincessElisa, sneaky buns, and Lor. Yeah, I know PE is gone and she’ll never read this, but I wanna take this time to announce that we’re getting married next July. I love you honey! She meant nothing to me!

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PrincessElisa said:

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Then there are the womens. Oh my God, the womens. I already listed Pariah/Uschi who is kinda a woman, but have to mention PrincessElisa, sneaky buns, and Lor. Yeah, I know PE is gone and she’ll never read this, but I wanna take this time to announce that we’re getting married next July. I love you honey! She meant nothing to me!

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Ya know....it might be a good thing to inform a bride she was getting married before posting it in a thread on the rkmbs :P

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... Phillip K. Dick, Bradbury, Michael Swanwick...

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rex said:
Wednesday for super-omega-supreme mod!

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britneyspearsatemyshorts said:
i think he raped a white woman and made her articulate.

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Jack Mehoff said:


Amazing, Mr. Mompremeire! That was great. I had no idea about the marraige. Glad to see that you're still recovering.

I found out a lot about you. (Not much I can use against you though... Damn!) Plus I got a mention. That R0X0RS!!11!

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Pariah said:
I skipped straight to the Fight Club question.

So yeah, I'm very disappointed with this interview.

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PrincessElisa said:

Ya know....it might be a good thing to inform a bride she was getting married before posting it in a thread on the rkmbs :P

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PJP said:
Wednesday 4 Prez!!!

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URG said:
Good interview,Jason E Perkins. You am real man!

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Rob Kamphausen said:
the rkmbs "number 2" is black!?!

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Danny said:
Articulate and black doesn't make sense! The only way it works is if he is also gay. They're plenty articulate, them gays.

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harleykwin said:
Sweet interview Wednesday. Just sweet.

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PCG342 said:
Excellent interview. Longest one yet!

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