RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Women What a Girl Wants (From Sammitch's Board) Prometheus' Post FOR SNARF

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PJP said:
Hey Snarf. rex wanted someone to post this for you.....it's a post Prometheus made in a thread called What A Girl Wants.

Re: What does a girl want?
« Reply #11 on Feb 14, 2004, 2:34am »

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Well, I'm not a girl. But, I'll throw my ten cents in the mix.

I think the search shouldn't be what a woman wants. That changes from woman to woman, and from trend to trend. It's a pointless question.

I think the question, to the men, should be...who are you?

Listen, I'm 6'1, and fluctuate around the 160-170lbs. mark, keeping a tight, but not sculpted, stomach. I alternate from super-short blonde hair, to, shaved completely bald (more to accommodate my natural, nearly extinct hairline). My strongest physical features, as I have been told, is that I have piercing, highly expressive eyes (thus my Rob's Board avatar), and an infectious smile that crawls across my entire face.

And all that means absolutely NOTHING.

It's not about appearances. It's not about your weight, or your height, or the size of your penis.

It's about you.

It's about your confidence. It's about the aroma of self that you put out there.

Self-depreciating humor is one thing. The key to keeping it from becoming a personal put-down in the eyes of others is....how much is truly a joke?

I can make quips about my hairline all day long. It's great. It's honest. And, it makes women laugh.

But, in my mind, I know....I know....the moment I walk into the room.....I own it.

Arrogance? Conceit?

Depends.

It's all about finding the line, Chewster. It's all about finding that line between arrogance and confidence. Between a positive self image, and conceit.

I may not, in all actuality, BE the best looking guy in the room at that moment. Others may hold a better Hollywood/cultural status with their looks. But, that doesn't matter.

As long as you believe that you are worthy...that you are equal....that you have just as much to offer as anyone else, the looks will fall in line.

Now, the danger in this is not allowing yourself to cross that line. Don't buy into your own myth. That's arrogance. Don't allow the fictional pomposity to come across to others as vanity. Just believe it.

Believe that you are The Man. Believe that your wit is stunning. Believe that your humor is legendary. Own yourself. Own the room. Never, ever allow any insecurity to take root in your system. Why? Because you will never be Brad Pitt. You will never be Tom Cruise. These fictional physical standards that culture presents us are just that....fictional.

You want to look like a supermodel? Then work your ass off, and sculpt your body to fit. And, in the end, you will attract vapid women that want you only for your looks. Why? Because you will only have changed the cover of the book, not the content.

It's about confidence. In my experience (I'm 31, and have been with/dated/one-night-stands/relationship with around forty-eight women in my lifetime) THAT'S what women are after. Confidence. They want a man who is secure in himself. Not arrogant. Not conceited. Not vain. Confident.

Confidence is not feeling the need to defend your looks to others. Confidence is knowing that absolutely no woman is out of your league. Confidence is understanding and acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses equally. Confidence is knowing that you are not perfect, that there is no such thing, but, that you are just as valid, worthy, and personally successful as any other man alive.

It's not about what women want. It's about who you are. It's about what makes you, you.

Hard Love Time

Sensitivity is a valid, exceptional quality in a male. We all have it. It's whether we choose to express it or not that makes the difference.

But, too much sensitivity can be a turn off for a woman. Why? Because women are sensitive creatures. And, if they wanted someone as sensitive as they are, then they would be after another woman.

It's the nature of the beast, my friend. It's the human condition. Don't buy into the exaggeration of Hollywood. Only the wounded animals go for someone that can't emotionally fend for himself.

There is nothing wrong with a man that can cry. At all. But, no matter how independent...no matter how strong a woman is....at the end of the day....in those times when they really, really need it....women want a shoulder that's strong enough to support their emotions. Their feelings. They want a man.

I hope this doesn't come off sounding sexist in the least. It's not. Women need the equality. They need the man that doesn't mind opening a door for them, but, will allow them the opportunity to open the doors themselves.

It's a bizarre science, I know.

It's about balance. Understanding that women need an equal partner, one that sees them as such, but also allows them to be female.

And, of course, this varies from woman to woman.

The Friend Zone: If you are interested in a woman, the first thing you have to do.....the FIRST thing....is let them know. You don't have to be overt about it. But, you can't be so subtle as to allow them to pigeon-hole you in that "friend" slot.

If they are not interested in you, then, that's the breaks. Move on. You can still be their friend if you want. But, the moment that you make them think that you have no other options but them, is the moment they have the power to keep you at bay as a friend, and nothing more. They know, whether subconciously or not, that you will "be there" when they need you. Why? Because you have already given them the idea that you have no other options.

This is why, for certain women, the moment someone that they "weren't interested in" becomes attracted/seeks someone else, they suddenly become interested. You've all of a sudden become a valuable commodity in the eyes of a new female. Thus, by their reason, you must have some quality that they missed out on, and must now claim. [NOTE: Beware this type of woman. They are fickle, and are only competing with other women in an internal insecurity powerplay, and have no real interest in you as a person. You don't need this type of woman. They will NEVER be worth your time.]

In the end, Chewy, the best thing I can say to you is this:

--Believe in yourself. Have confidence in who you are, in your weaknesses and your strengths. You must own yourself first.

--Find the joy in being alone. Once you are comfortable in your solitary universe, then, and only then, will you find that taking risks aren't so bad. Desperation is never attractive.

--Set your standards. Know that you don't need anyone to be a complete person. Realize that the truth of love, commitment, and togetherness is that you allow others to know you. You have the power, my friend. You are in control. Never be afraid to walk away. You'll live. Trust me.

--If a woman does not like you for exactly who you are, period, then, she is NOT worth it. There are ALWAYS better women out there. Always. Sounds like fiction, I know. But, I'm serious. You will only ever find true happiness in a woman that finds true happiness in you first.

Through every single fling, flirt, f**k, and fondle...throughout my entire life.....I have absolutely no regrets.

You have one life. Do not be afraid to live it. The worse that can happen is that you get your heart broken at some point.

Big f**king deal. It happens to every single person on the planet. You'll live. Get up, dust yourself off, and move on.

In the end, there is someone for everyone.

Much love, brother.

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