What is 'I Hate Kevin Costner' Day?

During my freshman year in college - lo, these five years ago - I decided that being single on Valentine's Day sucked. Not only that, but I also decided that calling V-Day "Singles Awareness Day" was merely adding insult to injury. So, while everyone else who "had someone" was busy "having" their "someone," I decided to play a slightly different angle.

Kevin Costner is a terrible actor. No matter how attractive you might find him, you can't deny that that's pretty much his only appeal. As his acting goes, he is stiff, wooden, and incapable of emotion - an Al Gore for the cinema. Granted, I do enjoy some of his movies... but just like good actors can do bad films, I maintain that bad actors can do good ones (like Keanu in the first Matrix).

So, rather than celebrate a love that I do not have, I decided to take the opposite side... and celebrate my hatred for Kevin Costner and his [lack of] acting ability. Therefore, for me (and you, should you choose to adopt this practice), February 14th will always be known as 'I Hate Kevin Costner' Day!

How do I celebrate 'I Hate Kevin Costner' Day?

It's really quite simple.

  • Step #1: Go out and rent a Kevin Costner movie. (Remember: the worse the better. Personally, I'd take a film like Waterworld, Dragonfly, or The Postman over films like The Untouchables, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and Field of Dreams... but that's just me.)
  • Step #2: Assemble a group of like-minded, (preferably) single Costner haters for a pseudo-public screening of the film you choose.
  • Step #3: Publicly, and as a community, mock his singular lack of acting ability.
  • Step #4: Repeat as necessary (or as is tolerable - the most Costner films I've ever been able to sit through is two).


What if I actually like Kevin Costner?

Then you are a sheep and, quite honestly, there is no saving you.

However, the beauty of this holiday is its inclusion and accomodation for all. If you like Kevin Costner, than substitute a celebrity who's body of work you loathe as much as I loathe Costner's, like Keanu Reeves, Hayden Christensen, or William Shatner. The possibilities are almost endless.

Well, I believe I have created awareness for my makeshift holiday. Enjoy, all, and...


Happy 'I Hate Kevin Costner' Day, everybody!