<After brief promo spots for Snakes On a Plane and a Madman Marcum’s new book, we are treated to a wide shot of the Cheesedome crowd. After a brief silence, a smashup of “Detroit Rock City” and “Let’s Get It Started” blares over the speakers and the crowd goes wild as the SDC makes its way to the ring. Meeko is flanked by Captain Sammitch and Penwing, and behind them, another girl – an unfamiliar one – is flanked by Chewy Walrus and Killconey…>
Monroe: The
entire Sudden Death Connection is making its way to the ring! We haven’t seen this in a while!
Louie: Great! Even
more pointless jabbering!
Monroe: 
<Captain Sammitch holds the ropes open until everyone else has entered the ring, then he climbs the turnbuckle and holds up the Inter-Cunt-inental belt for all to see. The crowd cheers wildly! Penwing climbs the turnbuckle at the other end of the rope and holds his Sher-Wood over his head, pumping up the crowd even more. Between them, Chewy Walrus and Killconey strike a pose. Meeko is handed a microphone and begins to speak…>
Meeko: Good evening,
Robblemania! <Huge pops from the crowd…> Tonight, the Sudden Death Connection will be facing
big challenges – and introducing
big changes!
Monroe: Changes? What’s she talking about?
Meeko: I have been the manager of this faction from the very beginning. I formed it to be an example to the rest of the RDCW…
Louie: An example of
what??? 
Meeko: …and I am very proud of the stable of
champions it’s become! But as much as I care about these guys… the time has come for me to move on to other things.
<Murmurs from the crowd…>
Monroe: Meeko is
moving on??? 
Meeko: I have been given opportunities to use my managerial talents in other venues, other occupations. I love the RDCW, but I can’t stay here forever.
<The crowd noise intensifies. There is a lot of murmuring and some scattered booing…>
Meeko: But there’s no need to worry! I’m not leaving these boys all alone! I’ve handpicked my own replacement, and trust me, she is more than up to the task!
<The other girl steps forward…> This is Killconey’s fiancée, Marlene. She’s a smart and talented manager, and even though some of you may know her as
sweetmarlene, she can be ruthless at ringside and vicious
in the ring!
Louie: I’m still in shock over Meeko stepping down! Who else is gonna make these clowns look good?
Monroe: Shut up, Louie.
Meeko: Don’t worry – this isn’t my last night in the RDCW. I’ll be sticking around for a while, showing Marlene the ropes – pun intended – and helping her get to know the different names and faces around here. But you’ll hear more about that later. For now, I’m going to turn you over to your IC Champion, Captain Sammitch!
<The crowd cheers…>
Captain Sammitch: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
Tonight, you are going to see a spectacle like no other. This is the RDCW’s
biggest show, and you are not about to be disappointed!
<Pops from the crowd…> Tonight, not one, but
two members of the Sudden Death Connection will be competing for the Y Division title!
<The crowd cheers for Penwing and Chewy…> Killconey will be stepping into the ring against four other challengers and Pig Iron in an effort to win the Hardcore Porn Championship!
<Big cheers as Killconey acknowledges the crowd…>
CS:As the Tag Invitational Tournament Champions, Chewy Walrus
and Killconey will
also be taking on the…
<Sammitch loses his composure and lets out a laugh…> Sorry. The
Outcasts. Hey, Oakley… is your
family here?
Awesome. I’ll bet they wouldn’t miss this… no matter how much you might
want them to!
<Laughter from the crowd…>
CS: But seriously, the
Altcasts… I mean
Outcasts… didn’t get to be Tag Team Champions by turning in a subpar performance. So I don’t expect them to just
lie down for this one. After all, they
did manage to get the best of myself and Penwing last week – I’m waiting for the impending lightning strike after something
that improbable – but even with
that to brag about, they’re not taking on Penwing and myself. They’re taking on a tag team that resoundingly defeated them
two weeks ago. And there’s no Amuck in the ring to bail them out – or at least there won’t be if they don’t want to lose by
disqualification. So while this one isn’t
quite a foregone conclusion, I’m pretty optimistic about this one, and you should be too.
Louie: Didn’t Sammitch already
learn his lesson about talking smack with the Outcasts?
CS: Last but not least, I will be defending the Inter-Cunt-inental Championship belt against Charlie. Charlie, I’m not gonna slight your abilities – you’re a damn good wrestler, and I respect that. But you’re gonna
need that if you want this belt! Joe Mama said I don’t know
punishment. But I’ve faced him and I’ve faced you. And as good as you are, I seriously doubt you’d be
that tough a competitor!
Louie: Bullshit! Who does Sammitch think he is to make a statement like that?
Monroe: Someone whose career was nearly
ended by Joe Mama!
CS: You’re
good, Charlie. But while you’re looking at this as a must-win situation, I’m looking at this as a
win-win situation.
I don’t have to
beat you. All I have to do is stay one step
ahead of you, and I
keep this title. And if you manage to take it from me? I’ve already
won the IC belt, and every other belt… except
one. Well,
two if you count the Women’s belt. My
point is, I proudly
earned all those belts - despite what your manager Yesterday's News might say - and if I'm not meant to hang onto
this one any longer, I can always go out and get another. But I
know which belt I want, which one I've been waiting for. If you step into this ring bringing ninety-nine percent, you
will leave empty-handed and very battered. If you step into this ring and defeat me, you will be just another catalyst, another stepping stone from
this title to
the title. Simply put, Charlie, if you take
this belt from me, you will start me down a path that will end with the RDCW Heavyweight Championship belt firmly around me,
Captain Sammitch.
<Huge pops from the crowd…>
Monroe:
Louie:
CS: So come on down to this ring, Charlie! Bring your A-game, and see if you’ve got what it takes to take me on. But you and everyone else who faces us tonight will be in for one
hell of a match. Tonight is for you, the
fans! But tonight will
belong to the Sudden Death Connection!
<The crowd explodes into applause as the SDC’s entrance music blasts throughout the Cheesedome. Shameless commercialism ensues…>
