After a brief commercial break to shoe the latest trailer for 'Snakes on a Plane' we cut to the ring, as 'Money for Nothing' plays and Charlie hits the ring. He's riding in a chauffeur driven Bentley, accompanied by a pair of beautiful brunettes. The car parks at ringside, and the chauffeur ges round to open the door. Charlie gets out, in his flashy suit and wearing two diamond rolexes on each wrist. The women hold the ropes open for him, and he climbs into the ring
Charlie: I'd just like to start out by making some things clear to all you dumb mooks in the stands: I'm richer, more talented, better-loooking and more successful than you, and there's nothing you can do about it!
The crowd boos Charlie intensely, and he grins smugly
Charlie: I'd also like to make something else clear: Not only am I better than you, I'm also better than Captain Sammitch.
Let's just look at the facts, huh? He walks down to the ring. I get driven down to the ring in a big expensive car. He hangs out with a bunch of b-listers, whilst I spend my time in the company of the four greatest men in the world or wrestling! He goes home every night to one girl who, let's face it, goes with him out of pity. Me, I can get any woman I want!
The fans boo, and start chanting 'YOU SUCK!' at Charlie
Charlie: No, no, you got it wrong. I don't suck. I get sucked!
Monroe: I don't think we wanted to know that!
Louie: Don't be so conservative Monroe!
Charlie: Sammitch, you want me to bring my A-Game? You want me, the man who damn-near ended Joe Mama's career, the man who single-handedly drove King Snarf, a formerd Big Cheese champ, out of RDCW, to bring my A-Game to our match? You want me, the future of this business, a future Big Cheese Champion, to give tjis match my all. Well, I say this: I won't be bringing my A-Game, 'cos I don't need to! Against me, Sammitch,you don't have a chance!
Louie: He's right! Sammitch can strut all he wants, but he can't take The Pitbull!
Charlie: You say if I take this belt, you're just gonna go on to the World Title! Well I say you'll have to get through all of the IV, and even then I'll be right there to take that belt off you!
The time is coming when there will not be a title the IV do not hold! Captain Howdy, the Hardcore Porn Champ! MisterJLA, the World Champion! Me, The Intercuntinental Champion! Doc Mid-Nite, the king of the Y Division! Me and the Doc, RDCW World Tag Team Champions!
Monroe: What about the women's belt?
Louie: Puh-lease! That belt barely even counts!
Charlie: You better, prepare, Sammitch, prepare good and hard! When I'm done with you, you won't just be history, you'll be ancient history!
'Money for Nothing' plays, and Charlie goes back to his Bentley, which does a three-point turn and exits the arena
Louie: Joe Mama's taught the Pitbull well!
Monroe: I hate to agree with you, Louie, but it sure looks that way! Tonight's shaping up to be The Greatest Robblemania of all time!
