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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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We open the Mailbag with a question from Beardguy57...
Quote:
Hi,
You know, I honestly do not know what Rack points are, and have not seen a definition of the rack system..could you please explain?
Thanks!
Jerry
No, thank YOU Jerry!
The RACK system was created by me, Paul Mandral (NOT that punk bitch, r3xyz4a) in an effort to reward people for their EPIC posts.
(The term “RACK” comes to us from Jim Rome, a sports radio show host. He records his calls, and when he hears one that he is particularly fond of, he tells his producer to “RACK ‘EM”, meaning “place the tape of that call on “the rack”. The best call at the end of the day is taken off the tape rack, then played to close the show…AKA The “Huge Call of the Day”. )
The greater the contribution, the more RACK points one receive.
In the early days of the System, I used to allocate points very cautiously, but do to high RACK points stability, I can issue them out more freely (In fact, due to seizures of PrincessElisa's points, and r3xyz4a's daily penalty, RACK point value is at an all-time high.)
Many posters such as the esteemed Joe Mama (who answers private messages whenever he feels like it) bsams, wannabuyamonkey, and Chewy Walrus proudly display their current totals in their signature. I suggest you do the same.
Sincerely,
Paul.
---
Have a question that needs answering? Send me a private message. Your question may be printed here!
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/blogban3.jpg) [/center] [center] ![[Linked Image from i13.photobucket.com]](http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a275/captainsammitch/boards/banners/jlamiska.jpg) [/center]
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Quote:
MisterJLA said:
MisterJLA's Malebag
Thats just sick!
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Bacontwat!! 100+ posts
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Next letter is courtesy of...Prometheus!
Quote:
Dear MisterJLA,
Bacon?
Curiously Yours,
Oswald Baxter
P.S. Where does your username come from? Why did you choose it?
Bacon's good, but only in moderation. Eating a skillet full is FUCKING disgusting, but a few pieces on a turkey sandwich does help.
My username? Well, back in 1999, yours truly registered at the DCMB's. Being the Grant Morrision fan that I was (and still am) I wanted an ID that was JLA related. Morrison's JLA was all the rage at the time, and I was lovin' every issue!
I first tried "CaptainJLA", but that was taken. Next, "CaptJLA", but that was taken too. "FUCK", said I, so then I thought about "MRJLA", but I thought it would look kewler if I spelled out the MR as in "Mister", and I then added the JLA.
Rob's fascist boards accepted this name, and the rest is history.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Quote:
Nowhereman said:
Quote:
MisterJLA said:
MisterJLA's Malebag
Thats just sick!
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Next is a letter from...Chewy Walrus of "Under the stairwell ". Dear Mr. Mandral,
I have a few questions that, in my greatest estimation, require your attention. They are as follows.
a.) Are you really Jeff Glacier? If not, why not? If so, why? Actually, no. We both share a deep love of Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter II, and writing "Yeah", but we are not the same. Why not, you ask? He's too pure. I'm the "dark" version of Jeff Glacier. A counter balance. b.) Are you in any way, shape, or form related to the '80s band Mr. Mister, singers of "Kyrie" and "Broken Wings"? Holy fuck. The only person to get that. That was one of the reasons for spelling out "Mister". I loved that band. (I'm going to catch Hell for this) c.) Have you ever considered getting your doctorate? If so, what would you be a doctor of? I barely escaped with my Bachelor's. Too much FUCKING around in school. I'd be happy with a Master's. And I would be a doctor of fuckoffology. d.) How many rack points would I get if I posted the following picture in this thread?  732,000. Proudly displaying my RACK points until Hell freezes over,
THE Chewy Walrus Bless you.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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kung-fu treachery 5000+ posts
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kung-fu treachery 5000+ posts
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Quote:
MisterJLA said:
Next is a letter from...Chewy Walrus of "Under the stairwell ".
Quote:
Dear Mr. Mandral,
I have a few questions that, in my greatest estimation, require your attention. They are as follows.
a.) Are you really Jeff Glacier? If not, why not? If so, why?
Actually, no. We both share a deep love of Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter II, and writing "Yeah", but we are not the same. Why not, you ask? He's too pure. I'm the "dark" version of Jeff Glacier. A counter balance.
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We already are 15000+ posts
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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
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The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
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Quote:
Why not, you ask? He's too pure. I'm the "dark" version of Jeff Glacier. A counter balance.
He has a dark side?!? Oooooooooooooo....... and I was SOOOO wondering why he left that light saber in my bedroom 
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Quote:
PrincessElisa said:
Quote:
Why not, you ask? He's too pure. I'm the "dark" version of Jeff Glacier. A counter balance.
He has a dark side?!? Oooooooooooooo....... and I was SOOOO wondering why he left that light saber in my bedroom
I was all set to make a joke but, in the face of this entire comment, there's really nothing that needs to be said.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock ![[Linked Image from i6.photobucket.com]](http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/JoeMama13/RedSoxBanner05.png)
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The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
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but........I didnt mean it like that......I meant it all star warsy!
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Since when did lightsaber mean used condom?
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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Uh... condoms look nothing like lightsabers, rex...
She was obviously talking about a glow-in-the-dark dildo.
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Dear Mailbag:
Lately I've heard the term "private message" bandied about these boards. I wanna be hip to all the lingo that the kids are using in the streets these day, so can you tell me what they're talking about when they say, "private message" or "PM" or "23-Skidoo"?
Sincerely,
Paul Mandral's Mommy
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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In the next edition of MisterJLA's Mailbag, questions from:
Fred Kamphausen!
and...
First Amongst Daves!
Followed by my answers!
The next edition is: COMING SOON!
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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I noticed that Paul Mandral's Mommy got ignored. Poor lady - I hear she's a sweetheat. Always baking pies and doing laundry.
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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To the one person who doesn't get this, this is a column for me to answer private messages that are sent to me.
 X a quillion.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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Inglourious Basterd!!! 15000+ posts
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You're a cold bastard. Paul Mandral's Mommy doesn't even know what a private message is and this is how you treat her? That's not the MisterJLA that I know. The MisterJLA that I know would jump at the chance to answer her question and maybe throw in some humor with the response.
(You can think of a response, can you? Oh, how quickly our gods fail us...)
Uschi said:I won't rape you, I'll just fuck you 'till it hurts and then not stop and you'll cry. MisterJLA: RACKS so hard, he called Jim Rome "Chris Everett." In Him, all porn is possible. He is far above mentions in so-called "blogs." RACK him, lest ye be lost! "I can't even brush my teeth without gagging!" - Tommy Tantillo: Wank & Cry, heckpuppy, and general laughingstock
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
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3000+ posts
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Quote:
Im Not Mister Mxypltk said:
Uh... condoms look nothing like lightsabers, rex...
She was obviously talking about a glow-in-the-dark dildo.
the glow in the dark condoms do.
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Schlub 15000+ posts
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Schlub 15000+ posts
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 i guess.......
And, to be fair, one of my favorite friends there is blind and I take every opportunity available to make fun of that and we're still friends. That guy never fit there. He never got the spirit of the RKMBs. We're gonna keep an eye on the obits, see if he finally left or if he really did have a heart attack.
2,506,410.81 CAD Rack points
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hey buttmonkey, we're waiting for more letters to be answered!
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Next is a letter from incandescent's own: Dark Typhoid Dave! Quote:
Dear Paul
1. Why is your Iron Man throbbing?
He's just glad to see you!
That Iron Man image is from the famous "Marvel vs Capcom" series of videogames made by (you guessed it, Capcom).
Yeah!
That's how Iron Man looks before the fighting begins. He's hyped up and ready to battle, hence the bouncing...
Quote:
2. Are you really in Human Resources? (see my sig)
No, that's Jeff Glacier, my good doppleganger. I am a people person, though.
Quote:
3. There are Jews in the world, there are Buddists,
There are Hindus and Mormons and then
There are those that follow Mohammad, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes on,
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came, because
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Let the heathen spill theirs,
On the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Morman,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.
Every sperm is useful,
Every sperm is fine,
God needs everybody's,
Mine, and mine, and mine.
Let the pagans spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighborhood.
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
True or false?
Every sperm is sacred? I guess I threw a lot of special kleenex away over the years!
Quote:
With kind regards
Your friend, admirer and fan
First Amongst Daves
PS JLA for Mod
Bless you, Dave.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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I recieved a very special letter from none other than Fred Kamphausen! Let's take a look! Quote:
Dear LordJLA,
How are you dear?
Now, I was talking to my nephew Roberta (that was the name we gave him when he was born as he had no penis and we all thought he was a girl. We're still not sure the doctors were correct when they said he was a boy as he started developing breasts when he hit puberty and his voice still hasn't dropped), and he was telling me all about how he is jealous of your popularity which is why he wont mention you in his blog.
Now my question is, do you have the time?
Thanks pookie
Fred Kamphausen
That's quite a story, Fred! I was actually quoted in Rob's Blog under my Christian name, which is Paul Mandral.
To answer your question:
IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME! IT'S VADER TIME!
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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WHOA! A letter from an actual celebrity! Let's see what's on John Byrne's mind!
Quote:
How grateful are you that I invented you?
Very grateful (sort of).
It's not my fault I have a mid-sized penis, I was just drawn that way!
Want your questions answered?
Send a PM with the word "mailbag" written in it somewhere, and you may be printed!
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Dear Mailbag:
Lately I've heard the term "private message" bandied about these boards. I wanna be hip to all the lingo that the kids are using in the streets these day, so can you tell me what they're talking about when they say, "private message" or "PM" or "23-Skidoo"?
Sincerely,
Paul Mandral's Mommy
Private messages (which I suspect aren't really prviate, I think Rob can read them) are Internet messages that can be sent to one user on Rob's FUCKING Boards. A "secret" letter or note if you will...much like the one you just sent me...
Proper etiquette is for the receipt to answer upon reading the message, but some pricks like to wait a few months and act like they're all busy and such.
"23-Skidoo" means let's get the FUCK out of here, now.
Anyhow...
Kids talk about private messages and "PM's" on the street?
What an odd bunch they must be! Usually, those terms are thrown around on the intertron, where I happen to be a posting legend!
Aren't you proud? Your little Paulie is all groweds up tonight!
Is this a fuckin’ production for ya? Cuz I'm growns up and I'm growns up and I'm growns up!!!!! I'm the asshole in this place right? I’m the asshole? I’m outta here…I would never eat here anyway.
JLA
Out.
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Here is a delightful PM from my fellow mod, Louie Bastardo!
Quote:
I keep hearing rumors bandied about that you have on occasion presented something to one of the RDCW writers called "ideas." Is it true that you indeed, have these ideas, and if so, why do we not get to see them on any RDCW programming?
Yes, Louie! I send PM's to, well, you and thedoctor and even Joe Mama about my "ideas" for matches since I am the champion of the RDCW.
It was my idea to face Nowhereman in a 60 minute Iron Man match at RobbleMania, the greatest RobbleMania EVAR!
I also came up with the idea for an Elimination Chamber match, so I could fight all of my old foes who challenged me for my old title at once.
I run a lot of these by thedoctor, Gr-ERRR you, and Joe.
Here's what I usually get back:
thedoctor: Sounds good. Just run it by everyone else who's ever posted on the internet before you run with it.
Louie: I think your idea sucks.
After a few more PM's...
Louie: That will work! Just let me put my personal touch on it, because this is MY board!
Joe: Sounds good! Just let me PM Louie, and I'll get right back to you (he never does)
So, my ideas do get used. I just go through a "hazing" process more often than not. And MisterJLA still loves them all.
Quote:
Louis J. Bastardo
PS: If you are ever in need of managerial services, I have extensive experience in the wrestling, film, and magazine industries.
Joe Mama is my manager! He's gonna flip out when he reads this!
JLA
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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That. . .was the best letter EVAR!!!!!!!!!
EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 gillion points!
I make stars, baby!
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Quote:
MisterJLA said:
WHOA! A letter from an actual celebrity! Let's see what's on John Byrne's mind!
I thought you said celebrity!
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Typo. He meant "cunt".
The letters are close to each other on the keyboard.
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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Uh... condoms look nothing like lightsabers, rex...
She was obviously talking about a glow-in-the-dark dildo. Now there's something that would be handy to have!
"My friends have always been the best of me." -Doctor Who
"Well,whenever I'm confused,I just check my underwear. It holds most answers to life's questions." Abe Simpson
I can tell by the position of the sun in the sky, that is time for us to go. Until next time, I am Lothar of the Hill People!
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Regenerated 15000+ posts
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- Dear MisterJLA,
Why no more viewer mail? Has your time come and gone? Or is this nearly the next step in your evolution towards a perfect being who likes crappy 80's pop bands?
Yours Always,
-Pro M. Etheus
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"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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- Dear MisterJLA,
Why no more viewer mail? Has your time come and gone? Or is this nearly the next step in your evolution towards a perfect being who likes crappy 80's pop bands?
Yours Always,
-Pro M. Etheus
Well, man, my mailman lost some of the mail. I had a letter from the lead singer of KIXX (or whatever that was) but it was lost. I hope he writes back! I'll be here to answer more fun letters, now that my paulmandral@robkamphausen.com addy is up and running again. Your friend in truth, Paul
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Pariah User Bow down to combaticus!
15000+ posts 08/15/09 10:01 PM Reading a post
Forum: Pro & Jake's Fortress of Awesome Chat
Thread: MisterJLA's Mailbag...
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Hold on hold on tight! few posts
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Hold on hold on tight! few posts
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 10 |
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38
"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
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"Hey this is PCG342's bro..." 15000+ posts
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 34,398 Likes: 38 |
Sorry, man!
I didn't forget you, it twas the mailman who FUCKED up!
Thankfully, I now have my robkamphausen.com e-mail addy, so please send it again!
"Are you eating it...or is it eating you?" [center] [/center] [center] [/center]
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106
faggot 15000+ posts
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faggot 15000+ posts
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 24,106 |
Old men, fear me! You will shatter under my ruthless apathetic assault!
Uschi - 2
Old Men - 0
"I am convinced that this world is of no importance, and that the only people who care about dates are imbeciles and Spanish teachers." -- Jean Arp, 1921
"If Jesus came back and saw what people are doing in his name, he would never never stop throwing up." - Max von Sydow, "Hannah and Her Sisters"
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