RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Havoc 6.13.06-Doc's birthday bash!

The music plays and the crowd cheers in spite of themselves as Joe Mama makes his way to ringside. He stops to grab a microphone and then heads over to where Doc is sitting. The Doctor looks at him impassively, patiently waiting for Joe Mama to get to the point...

JM: ONE...MONTH!!! For one monthI've been suffering indignity after indignity, unable to take my place at the side of the greatest faction in the RDCW today. For one month I stood by and watched this piece of crap GM abuse his power in a way that could only be described as masturbatory at the expense of my team...the IV!!!

The crowd cheers. The Doctor rolls his eye.

JM: Don't believe me? The past month's worth of IV matches don't convince you? Then watch this!!!

Joe Mama points to the Cheese-O-Tron, which comes alive. Video appears of Joe Mama in a shower cap, large smock, and elbow-length rubber gloves. He's holding a toilest brush and there are dark stains of an unimaginable origin on the smock. He's obviously in a men's room, and the pinatas, sombreros, and Mexican craft service tables make it clear in WHICH men's room he's standing. Joe Mama looks to his left and El Superbeasto lumbers past him. A moment or two later, Joe Mama's looks off-camera to his right and his face takes on a look of terror and agony. Then he appears to catch a whiff of something...he turns green, his eyes roll back into his head, and he keels over.

Cut to a golf course. Joe Mama is standing about five feet behind Doc, who's teeing up his shot. Joe Mama has a large golfbag across his back ans it's clear by his exhausted stance (and the sign that says "16th Hole") that he's been lugging this monstosity all game. Doc brings the club back to hit the ball, but loses his grip on the club. The club flies back and the club head hits Joe Mama squarely in the crotch. Joe Mama drops to his knees, cupping his balls and then the weight of the golf bag forces Joe Mama to the ground, crushing him under the weight of too many clubs. Doc points to the club and the golf bag seems to crawl towards it. An arm reaches out to the club, picks it up, and slips it into the bag.

Cut to the smiling face of what seems to be a 17-year-old mentally defective boy. He's in his best tuxedo...T-shirt. His blue jeans are dirty and stained, but someone had the bright idea to iron them. His black motorcycle boots shine almost as brightly as his greasy - obviously fake - pompadour. The camera pulls back to reveal the setting for prom pictures to be taken. The arch behind him has a sign that says "Romance Under The Sea - Hattiesburg Class Of 2006". Standing next to the happy "prom king" is Joe Mama. In a tasteful, surprisingly flattering prom dress made of hot pink chiffon. The blond wig is askew and Joe Mama has a heavily made-up scowl on his face. The lipstick and blush do nothing to make him an attractive female, nor do the softballs that are stuffed down the front of his tasteful dress. Doc comes into the picture, grinning from ear-to-ear. He stands between the "happy" couple and the resemblance between him and...the boy (it's too tempting to say "Joe Mama", Doc you bastid)...is unsettling. A camera (off-screen) takes pictures. The boy reaches across his relative (Doc you bastid) and gets a handful of "tit"...

JM: I think we've seen enough! (The Cheese-O-Tron goes blank)

JM: Doc, you've done everything you could to humiliate me and drive me from the RDCW - that montage doesn't even reveal the worst of it!!!

Monroe: That WASN'T the worst???

Louie: Joe Mama used the word "montage"???

JM: You used your power to stack the deck against the IV in hopes that they'd lose the titles they fought so hard to acquire! You denied them chances to win more gold! You allowed wrestlers like Chris Oakley to run at the mouth with no repercussions - how the FUCK has he held the tag titles this long???

Louie: Good question, actually...

JM: And you created yet another match at Convolutions meant to force the IV to drop titles to your personal butt-boys, the SDC! I'm surprised you didn't add King Snarf and his best Sting impression to that match out of pity and nostalgia! Doc, you're a damned disgrace, and I swear to you right now that the IV will have their revenge on YOU, on Chris Oakley and his Cast-Offs, on the Suck-Dee-Cee, and the rest of this promotion!!!

Doc glares at Joe Mama, daring him to make his move. Joe Mama grins arrogantly. Close up on Doc's face. Close up on Joe Mama's face. Close up of Doc's eyes as they squint. Close up of Joe Mama's eyes as they they widen in anticipation. Close up of a fat fan eating a hot dog to break up this spaghetti western rip-off. Cut to a flock of white doves being released into the arena cuz I feel like throwing in a John Woo reference...

JM: But not tonight, Doc. Happy Birthday!