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Quote:
Chewy Walrus said:
Philsy, you bringing in your guy (whose name eludes me)?
I don't think that Phil's character has made it out of bed yet.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Why do you always insist on writing yourself into these stories?!
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Katsu's gonna stay in Vegas for now. I'll get around to posting what he's doing there soon.
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I'll be out of town for the weekend, so hopefully I'll be able to do what needs to be done when I get back.
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Quote:
notwedge said:
Katsu's gonna stay in Vegas for now. I'll get around to posting what he's doing there soon.
Make sure he stays away from the casinos!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok. 
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Chewy: Great posts. man. I'm digging Seven. Can't quite get a feel of his personality just yet. Still, a-man-in-motion is fun to watch. Good stuff. Doc: You are concentrating on what you do best, and that's attention to detail. The line after the helicopters fire into the mountain range, where you describe how the heat of the impact mixed with the mountain air to create a thick fog.......fucking brilliant. It never would have occurred to me to make that type of realistic connection in the moment. That insignificant insight was serious sweetness. Good stuff. Jerry: Darmo reminds me so much of the Iron Giant, I can't get him out of my head. And, while I truly dig the personality and emotion you blend in him, I have to point something out that I don't like. Doc has created an artificial body, and implanted it with the mind of a person. You have now created an artificial body, and implanted it with the mind of a person. I hope I don't have to explain how the similiarities are glaring here. While I love Darmo, I'd really love to see you offer a different character, or concept into this world. With Doc already covering the angle you seem to be inherently duplicating, there's no point in having two of the exact same character-types. If it makes you feel any better, I'm carefully watching how Chewy evolves Seven before I make any more posts with my character. Initially, I wanted Norrin to be a dashing, adventureous swashbuckler. However, since Seven already seems perfectly fitted for the dashing, smooth adventurer, I will probably mold Norrin into something of a rogue...much like "Sawyer" on LOST. The point is, when writing with a group, you have to be willing to compromise and take different paths with your characters than you may have started wth. Take all of this into consideration. Really observe what everyone is writing, and how they are writing it. Take that as your influence on what kind of world we're trying to build. Find your own unique niche, with your own unique character. If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me, or, just ask everyone here in this thread. Notwedge: I have to say, of all the characters introduced, I'm digging yours and CJ's the most. There's something very cool and unique about this mystical ninja. Of course, take into consideration that I have no idea or connection to anything manga. So, please take the time to flesh him out for the rest of us, cause, I'm not going to pick up on any manga-influenced hints. And, just so you know, I swear I won't kill him... CJ: As I said above, Bella is a brilliant creation. I love how you've found the marginal line of keeping her from falling into a stereotypical "female cyborg" niche. You've expertly detailed how she works, her limits, and her personality. I can't wait to get a chance to write her. Euro: I have to say, I was wrong. At first, I thought the idea of a Spectre-type character was a bad one. I thought it was too over-the-top. And, the jury is still out on how you will handle him in the future. But, for now, it seems with you playing the role of "supporting character/antagonist", you've really given the story a core purpose. And that's something we generally lack. So, very well done, man. Keep it up. Phil & SPAM: No-shows... As for me, I'm just biding my time. I've already spoken to Chewy who is going to help my character find his way into these stories. But, I'm in no hurry. I have nothing to write, right now. Therefore, I'm not going to force it. Still, loving the story... 
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Pro : You are right! I must have glossed over the angle of Doc's robot having a human mind! Damn! 
Not to worry.. I just now got an idea for a twist in the story that will fix this, and maybe surprise everyone. Wish I had time to write more of Darmo today! I like my new idea.. hope you will, too!
Doc : Sorry I stepped on your toes there. I have long been fond of the " Robot with a human mind" angle since I first saw 8 th Man on tv over 40 years ago.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Very nice entry, Doc!
I was supposed to go to the movies tonight, but my friend is too tired; this means I can work more on my story tonight.
And resolve some issues within it.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Quote:
Beardguy57 said:
Quote:
notwedge said:
Katsu's gonna stay in Vegas for now. I'll get around to posting what he's doing there soon.
Make sure he stays away from the casinos!
I didn't stay away from the casinos on this trip!
(Just got back from the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood. My friend made eighty bucks, I lost all my money on the nickle 'slots'. Darn. But we went to this trendy Asian place that called itself 'sexy and sensual' and wanted 'our imagination and senses' to guide us on the menu. Seriously, it was the best money I ever spent. They encouraged you to share your meal with everyone else at your table, and the stuff was practically orgasmic.)
Back on topic, thanks for the compliments Pro. I always seem to forget that part of this is to critique people.
Doc, as usual, your writting is excellent. I had some short story somewhere about a scientist that transfered her memories into a gynoid before she was killed, so I like the idea of someone living past their biological existence in some mechanical form. And the whole military thing is great. Sort of a 'Hulk' feel to it.
Euro, this may be my favorite character you created. Like Pro, I thought the whole 'God-thing' was making things totally unfair -- everyone loves a good underdog story, but this could have been too much of a good thing. If you start playing into weaknesses, though, you have potential for a really awesome character.
Pro, I feel like your withholding information on your character, and that's a good thing! Good air of mystery. Chicks dig that sort of stuff.
Wedge, between you and me, I'm sure you watch more anime, but I really get this Samuari Jack/Champaloo feel when reading your stuff. Good vibes, all around.
Beardy, I feel like the Legionaire and Darmo are almost different enough for the concept to work, but you two might want to PM each other to make sure you can highlight the differences between the two. Also, this may just be me, but you resolve a lot of your conflicts very quickly. Brother is lost/brother is found...Darmo low on power/Darmo gets more power...bad robot comes in/bad robot goes out...I love Darmo, but the conflict is over almost as soon as it begins. It's like Star Trek. You know the Enterprise is going to pull through at the end of the episode -- but you've got to sit through forty minutes to find out how. Your beginnings and endings are great. Just fatten up your middles. 
"You're either lying or stupid."
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
Megatron and Starscream
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Hi CJ. I read you. I am already taking steps to change Darmo enough so that he'll be nothing like Doc's Legionairre Robot.
I guess I could slow the pace down a bit... and...
Thanks for the advice!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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And I guess I do watch a LOT of Star Trek and have fallen prey to it's plot devices!
I will work on that, as well.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Quote:
Prometheus said:
CJ: As I said above, Bella is a brilliant creation. I love how you've found the marginal line of keeping her from falling into a stereotypical "female cyborg" niche. You've expertly detailed how she works, her limits, and her personality. I can't wait to get a chance to write her.
Well, you know, it was tempting...
...to make her pink...
..or a spin-off of another show...
...or an object of gender roles in the modern age...
...or...actually, I really know nothing about Blade Runner...
"You're either lying or stupid."
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
Megatron and Starscream
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CJ, this was my favorite show when I was in college!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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My two inspirations for Norrin were: 
Sawyer from LOST
Jack from STARGATE.....if that helps at all.....
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Quote:
Cowgirl Jack said:
Doc, as usual, your writting is excellent. I had some short story somewhere about a scientist that transfered her memories into a gynoid before she was killed, so I like the idea of someone living past their biological existence in some mechanical form. And the whole military thing is great. Sort of a 'Hulk' feel to it.
It's an old, common origin that I'd been mulling about for years. I'll admit that; but it's not about the origin as much as it is what I'm planning on doing with the character that is important. I'll warn everyone again in case it didn't sink in the first time, I'm gonna be changing a lot of shit when it comes to the world these characters live in due to the presence and actions of my character. Get used to it.
I really like your new character, CJ. At first, I was afraid that it was just a mechanical Banshee; but I see now that, though vaguely similar, it's a whole new character and direction. I'm lovin' it. And, as always, I love you my little sugar bosoms. (Don't worry, Pro. You're still my little butter nipples. *tee hee*)
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Quote:
Prometheus said:
Euro: I have to say, I was wrong. At first, I thought the idea of a Spectre-type character was a bad one. I thought it was too over-the-top. And, the jury is still out on how you will handle him in the future. But, for now, it seems with you playing the role of "supporting character/antagonist", you've really given the story a core purpose. And that's something we generally lack. So, very well done, man. Keep it up.
I had fear that inadvertently replicating what Naecken did on a smaller scale in the first HR adventure would have been badly accepted, but luckily no one noticed it.
Seriously, as I have said to selected ones in PM, I have no problem to have Emmanuel evolving in any direction. He could be the "villain" of this (hopefully) first story; he could become a "good guy" (but then, he would be too much powerful, unless he would be so unpredictable to be again more of a menace than a useful member - IF a team will come out of this story -); he could also revert to be a normal, scared African kid that in the future could (or could not) change again in the Wrath of God, and that will be kept along just to have him always under control.
I am open to any direction; it's a character that basically created himself in the moment I wrote the final line of my first post, while before I had in mind a very different character with psychic powers (but then, it would not have been different from TOMB's Nemo).
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Quote:
thedoctor said:
I really like your new character, CJ. At first, I was afraid that it was just a mechanical Banshee; but I see now that, though vaguely similar, it's a whole new character and direction. I'm lovin' it.
I was really worried that everyone would compare Banshee to Bellatrix. Seriously -- they both have wings, their names begin with 'B', and they're both victims of scientific experimentation. Having said that, I'd like to think they're pretty different in personality. Bellatrix has a very masculine personality, something like Ridley from Alien (which I still haven't seen, I just know the writers made a very tough-as-nails character and then casted a woman as an afterthought) or Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell (who not only has a masculine personality, but is masculine).
The SM girl in me always likes seeing my characters get beat up (poor Brianna and Lykopis were constantly getting bruised), probably because I always like seeing the character's weakness. But the weakness has always been physical. I'm doing something a little different with Bellatrix. She's stronger than Lykopis, and a lot hardier than Brianna. Her faults aren't physical (unless you count her battery power). I'd like to think her personality is her weakness instead. She's not a coward -- but she doesn't stick her neck out for anyone either. I'm still not sure how I want to approach this, though.
I'm actually almost done with a two page spread of Bellatrix. It's a pretty little couple of comic pages -- my first attempt, so don't laugh when I post it here. If you value your life.
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And, as always, I love you my little sugar bosoms. (Don't worry, Pro. You're still my little butter nipples. *tee hee*)
I love you too, my little squishy puppy.
"You're either lying or stupid."
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
Megatron and Starscream
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This is my inspiration for Darmo :
8 Th Man, a cartoon that debuted in the USA in fall, 1964.
I was seven years old when I first saw it. 8 Th Man was Detective Brady, who was on a case and was run over by a gangster's car. Professor Genius found him ( How convienent!) and transferred the dying man's brain electronically into the body of his 8 th robotics experiment.
The poor guy wakes up, freaks out when he finds out what's happened to him and smashes a solid steel table with his hand!
He then realizes that he now has great power. The Professor urges him to use that power for good.
The man takes the name " Detective Tobor ( Robot spelled backwards.. lucky thing everyone in the cartoon was stupid back in 1964, or they'd have figured THAT one out in 2 seconds!) and fights crime disguised as a man, who is able, through the use of plastic skin, to disguise himself as anyone he wishes. He can run at supersonic speeds, fly for brief periods of time when he builds up enough momentum, can record and play back everything he sees, and has great strength.
When he ran down on energy, as the uranuim in his chest could only release so much at a time, he'd smoke a cigarrette. Good thing robots don't get cancer! I have 15 or so of his adeventures on vhs, may get more eventually, there are 50 altogether.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Does anyone have any thoughts about the new direction that I am taking Darmo into?
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Quote:
Prometheus said:
Phil & SPAM: No-shows...
I'm just waiting to see how the story goes. I have problems adding to plot (it always terrifies me, in case I muck things up). I'm hoping to contribute something soon.
OOK OOK ACK EEK!
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Added another chapter on the Darmo saga, and this time, events won't play themselves out as quickly as I have been doing previously. I am going to draw things out quite a bit longer.. as I have been doing in " Tales Of The Champions."
Oh.. and look for some BIG changes in my story here.
Things will soon be changed completely... and irrevocably!
The end result will bear no similarity to anyone else's character!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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I just ask that no one write anything about Darmo in the story until I get his direction and purpose changed. 
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Quote:
thedoctor said:
I'll warn everyone again in case it didn't sink in the first time, I'm gonna be changing a lot of shit when it comes to the world these characters live in due to the presence and actions of my character. Get used to it.
Just so long as you extend us and our characters the same courtesy...
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This sounds most ominous!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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 Just to let you all know, I'm not showing my hand with Seven too soon. I know most, if not all of his backstory but I will be revealing it over time. Don't expect me to wrap up his lifestory in one post - it won't happen. Think of it as an episode of any modern television drama - they know they have the time, and they're taking it. I'm doing the same. As to inspirations for the character: 
Mr. Sark (ALIAS)
John Constantine (HELLBLAZER)Hope that helps... for now. Am posting soon - wait for it.
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Sounds good to me, Chewy. At least you don't have to totally make over your concept like I have to. 
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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And, that's all he wrote. Tonight, anyway.
Euro, please let me know how I did with Nwanjoku! I wanted to do him justice - and that PM you sent helped me devise a way for Seven to get him (this time). I hope everything meets up to your expectations for the character... As to where he goes from here? I leave that to you and Ceej.
I only have one more post (maybe two) with Seven in LA and then he'll be moving on to the second of seventy-seven lights...
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Chewy, the latest installment of your story is awesome!
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Quote:
Chewy Walrus said:
Euro, please let me know how I did with Nwanjoku! I wanted to do him justice - and that PM you sent helped me devise a way for Seven to get him (this time). I hope everything meets up to your expectations for the character... As to where he goes from here? I leave that to you and Ceej.
Chewy, MASTERPIECE!
It's exactly what I was expecting as the way to stop Emmanuel from his rampage. I also like how you played Bellatrix, very raptor like... and the fact that now Emmanuel is back to human. And I also loved the involvement of the Vatican, that I had in mind on my own and later I will work accordingly with what you have shown already.
Where to go from now? I don't know really, as the verbal fight between Seven and Emmanuel, and Emmanuel's defeat, is a strong point for the story; so from now on, the Spectre-like Emmanuel is gone, and we have only the scared young man Nwanjoku who is currently in the hand of Bellatrix. That he would be able to run away from her is out of question, so I think my next post will delve with him back in some sort of lab owned by Bella's current employer.
So, I guess that could leave space for a CJ's post about Bellatrix's return with the prey, and then I will take on from there. Unless Tom Sawyer will show up and will be able to take the kid from Bellatrix, because we saw earlier that he was going to meet my character... but that's is up to SPAMM and CJ. I will take from that, whatever will happen.
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I *heart* Chewy!
Seriously, I think this was a very well coordinated effort on everyone. Chewy did exactly what I needed him to do. Props to him.
Oh, and the Bible verses was awesome. During my mini-break I wondered if you would use that bit from...isn't there a part where someone's talking to God, and He says something like "for the sake of the ten [good people in the town] I wont destroy the city...for the sake of the one..." etc etc etc. I can't think of it right now.
Anyways, I will be posting later today or tonight -- still unpaking and other stuff.
"You're either lying or stupid."
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
Megatron and Starscream
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Quote:
Cowgirl Jack said:
I *heart* Chewy!
Right back atcha, baby! 
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Seriously, I think this was a very well coordinated effort on everyone. Chewy did exactly what I needed him to do. Props to him.
I thank you, my dear.
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Oh, and the Bible verses was awesome.
That was Euro - a brilliant idea, I thought. He mentioned Nwanjoku spoke only in Scripture, so I decided to play around with that idea... which lead to that post.
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During my mini-break I wondered if you would use that bit from...isn't there a part where someone's talking to God, and He says something like "for the sake of the ten [good people in the town] I wont destroy the city...for the sake of the one..." etc etc etc. I can't think of it right now.
Genesis 18:23-32 - Abraham pleading to God for the city of Sodom
I thought about using those verses, but I honestly couldn't find a spot for them. There were some others I wanted to use as well that I (again) couldn't find room for. I might use them again for something else. We shall see...
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Quote:
Chewy Walrus said:
Quote:
thedoctor said:
I'll warn everyone again in case it didn't sink in the first time, I'm gonna be changing a lot of shit when it comes to the world these characters live in due to the presence and actions of my character. Get used to it.
Just so long as you extend us and our characters the same courtesy...
I promise nothing. NOTHING!!!!!
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 19,633
I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 19,633 |
Quote:
thedoctor said:
Quote:
Chewy Walrus said:
Quote:
thedoctor said:
I'll warn everyone again in case it didn't sink in the first time, I'm gonna be changing a lot of shit when it comes to the world these characters live in due to the presence and actions of my character. Get used to it.
Just so long as you extend us and our characters the same courtesy...
I promise nothing. NOTHING!!!!!
The Doctor is a Prydonian. They're rather devious, you know.
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,342
Peacock Teaser 3000+ posts
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Peacock Teaser 3000+ posts
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,342 |
Too much free time? Maybe...   Boy, I could never write comics. I don't have the patience for layout. Anyhoo, this is Bellatrix, using the armor for the first time. Wanted to keep it all black and white, but the reds and grays work well for the drawings.
"You're either lying or stupid."
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
Megatron and Starscream
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,081
... 10000+ posts
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... 10000+ posts
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,081 |
Sweet, Ceej! You've gotta tell the story behind that sometime!
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 19,633
I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
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I walk in eternity 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 19,633 |
Wow CJ!! That looks fantastic!!!
Yeah, what would the words in there have been?
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life." - Tuvok.
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