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Beardguy57 said:
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notwedge said:
Katsu's gonna stay in Vegas for now. I'll get around to posting what he's doing there soon.



Make sure he stays away from the casinos!



I didn't stay away from the casinos on this trip!

(Just got back from the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood. My friend made eighty bucks, I lost all my money on the nickle 'slots'. Darn. But we went to this trendy Asian place that called itself 'sexy and sensual' and wanted 'our imagination and senses' to guide us on the menu. Seriously, it was the best money I ever spent. They encouraged you to share your meal with everyone else at your table, and the stuff was practically orgasmic.)

Back on topic, thanks for the compliments Pro. I always seem to forget that part of this is to critique people.

Doc, as usual, your writting is excellent. I had some short story somewhere about a scientist that transfered her memories into a gynoid before she was killed, so I like the idea of someone living past their biological existence in some mechanical form. And the whole military thing is great. Sort of a 'Hulk' feel to it.

Euro, this may be my favorite character you created. Like Pro, I thought the whole 'God-thing' was making things totally unfair -- everyone loves a good underdog story, but this could have been too much of a good thing. If you start playing into weaknesses, though, you have potential for a really awesome character.

Pro, I feel like your withholding information on your character, and that's a good thing! Good air of mystery. Chicks dig that sort of stuff.

Wedge, between you and me, I'm sure you watch more anime, but I really get this Samuari Jack/Champaloo feel when reading your stuff. Good vibes, all around.

Beardy, I feel like the Legionaire and Darmo are almost different enough for the concept to work, but you two might want to PM each other to make sure you can highlight the differences between the two. Also, this may just be me, but you resolve a lot of your conflicts very quickly. Brother is lost/brother is found...Darmo low on power/Darmo gets more power...bad robot comes in/bad robot goes out...I love Darmo, but the conflict is over almost as soon as it begins. It's like Star Trek. You know the Enterprise is going to pull through at the end of the episode -- but you've got to sit through forty minutes to find out how. Your beginnings and endings are great. Just fatten up your middles.

"You're either lying or stupid."
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"
Megatron and Starscream