The Cheese-O-Tron comes to life as a simple message appears on the screen: Qbert is coming. . .to the RDCW!!!!!!!!!
backstage, in the Cheesedome, we are interrupted by a smarmy young guy in a cheap suit. . . "Germy Boreass here, for RDCW.com, exclusive interview content today! Tonight we're speaking with two of the participants in our main event match, the RDCW World Heavyweight Champion Joe Mama and his partner, the man who invented the Asylum Rules match, Grimm! Gentleman, your thoughts here tonight?"
JM:
Hrm? What, oh yeah. Hi, Germy. Have you seen the promos so far? West Side Rollers and the Suddenly Deceased Connection babbling like a bunch of morons? I can't keep my eyes open!
At least you know I'll be refreshed and ready for our match tonight...
Germy Boreass: "Yes, that match tonight, an Asylum Rules Match, Grimm, your type of match, but tonight it's a little bit different, the two of you will be handicapped two against three, your thoughts?"
Grimm: My thoughts? My first thought is who in the hell let you have a microphone? Are you snarfing Rob or something? Yeah, two against three. Because the man who was to be our third, Ghost Hog, isn't the soldier he liked to pretend to be. Because he's not fit to do battle in a war like this. Johnny Evil, you can come out here with your little fan club, play your little games. Whatever. But we know, don't we? We know that you came to me looking to be educated in the ways of true evil. When I showed you the true face of evil, you looked away in horror, shame, fear, and disgust. Blame me for losing the tag titles all you want. But it won't matter, because we know where the true weakness lies.
GB: "This alliance between the two of you, longtime adversaries, brought about by a still unrevealed third person. Joe Mama, at Scammiversary, you were accompanied by Louie Bastardo. Is Louie Bastardo-"
JM: Do you honestly think we'd reveal that piece of promotion-shattering information to someone as irrelevant as yourself? That's the type of shocking revelation that fans buy pay-per-views to see! Here's all you need to know: I hate anime kids almost as much as I hate this big piece of human destruction beside me! They're obnoxious, they clog up convention lines, and if I get hit one more time by some fourth grader's balsa wood sword when I'm in line to get an autograph from my favorite horror luminary, I swear that I'll...
Joe Mama catches his rant as Grimm says:
Grimm: Could you get to the point?
JM: Yeah, right. Sorry. Johnny Evil, you suck! Your team sucks! This match against you can't help but suck because you and the rest of the Otaku are a bunch of pathetic losers! You bring your team to the ring tonight and face your demise, because this match brings me and Grimm once step closer to our complete glory and our final reckoning! Bring as many Champloo nerds you can find! We don't need that booze-soaked waste of space, Ghost Hog, to give you the hospital trip you and your gimmick deserves! As a matter of fact, I think this is the perfect time to eliminate Big Fat Elvis - there's something special about trashing Elvis this time of year!
Grimm smirks a bit. Germy Boreass: Jesus, dude. . .
JM: What? Too soon?
Germy Boreass: Final thoughts?
JM: Ghost Hog is drunk bitch waiting for a roofie. King Snarf's title wishes make me laugh. And the Otaku are catching an ass-whipping from here to San Diego to the streets of Tokyo!
Grimm: Tonight the Otaku learn the meaning of VIOLENCE!!!!!
