We keep our thermostats at fifty-nine so we can give our children gifts we really cant afford. We buy bruised, overripe fruit from the distressed produce and donate to our churches
We buy our own clothes at thrift shops but select grandchildrens presents from the nicest shop in town. We eat the same boring dinner every day because we won't cook for ourselves but produce a feast for guests. We never say we need help when we do but do without, not wanting to burden those whose burdens we carried
Some of us break out of these patterns realize we have rights and choices to care for ourselves too but it is hard to forget early teaching. Even after all these years we put ourselves last.
Taken from the book If I had my life to live over Editd by Sandra Haldeman Martz Papier Mache Press--Watsonville, California 1992
