RKMBs Forums .::Important::. RDCW Havok-Pimp Hand Strong

Cut to backstage. Tight close-up of Joey Biles.

JB: This is Joey Biles, coming to you from the locker room of the RDCW Heavyweight Cheese Champion, Joe Mama!

The camera pulls back to show Joey Biles standing next to Joe Mama, who is fast asleep in a La-Z-Boy recliner. He's snoring.

JB: Champ, the question on everyone's mind...um, Champ?

Shakes Joe Mama's shoulder to rouse him. He wakes up, groogily rubs his eyes and looks up at his interviewer.

JM: Huh? Who? Whuzzat? Oh, hey Joey. Whuzzup?

JB: Um, I'm trying to conduct an interview with you. I guess my first question is, how was your overseas vacation?

Joe Mama blinks at the camera, then slowly gets to his feet, stretching. He has a sleepy smile on his face. Very much out of character.

JM: Oh, it was great, Joey, though I don't understand why everyone thinks I went overseas unless Tornto counts. I met George Romero and Dario Argento and Adrienne Barbeau and Greg Nicotero and...

JB: It's good to have you back, Champ. Now, about your match toni...

JM: ...and I drank Caesers and tried poutine and saw The Matadors play and...

JB: Um, Champ?

JM: Yes, Joey?

JB: Can I interview you now?

JM: What? (Looks into camera.) OH! Interview...RIGHT! Go 'head, Joey!

JB: Joe Mama, tonight you were set to face off against Big Pimp Tim...

JM: That's right, Joey Biles, you man-child, you! The last time you and I met, Timberley, you were able to eke out a win against the single most dominant wrestler in the RDCW - Joe Mama! I'm sure you were feeling mighty proud of yourself, Tim-Tim. But you've made a mistake tonight...you've gone to the well one too many times! Tonight I won't be underestimating you or looking past you...

JB: ...or wrestling him...

JM: ...or wrestling you! Tonight I'm...wait, what?

JB: You're not facing off against Big Pimp Tim tonight, Champ. Didn't you hear the news. He's injured.

JM: Dammit, did the Cheapions cut into my business and take out my opponent? Listen, Cheapions, I understand that you've got revenge on your mind against the West Side Rollers for winning the Tag Team Donkey Lovin' Titles, and against me for breaking your precious leader's heart and making him quit wrestling completely, but meddling in the business of others is nothing but a quick and easy way to earn yourselves...

JB: Champ, it wasn't them. Big Pimp Tim did it to himself.

JM: ...a stern whoopin' at the hands of...what did you say?

JB: Big Pimp Tim took himself out. Didn't you see?

JM: Hold on a second, Joey Biles, you irritating flea of an interviewer. I got it Tivo'd...

Joe Mama walks off camera. Joey stand around, looking uncomfortable as one hears Joe Mama watching the events from earlier. A minute or two later, Joe Mama walks back to Joey Biles...

JB: Your thoughts on recent events, Champ?

JM:

JB: Right...um, Champ, what about your alliance with Grimm?

JM:

JB: How did Harleykwin convince you to...

JM:

Joe Mama wipes a tear from his eye.

JM: Now THAT was some great TV. Kids, take it from your ol' pal, Big Pimp Tim, and stay in school. Don't be just another moron cutting his career short with a terminal face-plant caused by an ill-advised stunt. And drink your milk. Now, if you'll excuse me, Joey Biles you horrible bridge troll, I'm going to mix myself a Caeser and catch the rest of the show.

JB: Yeah, I guess we're done here. Um, thanks Champ, I guess...back to you, Mike Monroe...

Just before camera and sound cut back to ringside, we hear...

JM: And what the hell is a QBert Johnson?