Main Event Joe Mama vs. Big Pimp Tim Krazed Having tossed King Snarf's ass over the top rope, Joe Mama takes a moment to acknowledge the crowd's cheers, a mistake as Krazed takes advantage of Joe Mama's distracted state to mount some offense by delivering promised chair shot to the back of JM's head! Krazed then drives a forearm to the back of Joe Mama's neck and then stacks him around the ring, driving fists into the Champion's back and neck. Krazed Irish whips Joe Mama into the ropes and lifts his leg to deliver a big boot into his cranium, but Joe Mama performs a baseball slide under the attempt and, as he passes under Krazed, he swats up. Krazed is doubled over in pain as a result of the sack-whack, which gives Joe Mama a chance to get up and clear the cobwebs.Marcum & Monroe: That's fucked up...that ain't right!
Joe Mama ricochets of the ropes and hits Krazed with a scissor kick, but doesn't capitalize, preferring to take the extra time to get his bearings.Monroe: This isn't the Joe Mama we're used to, Marcum. He can't seem to press the advantage.
Marcum: I'm telling you, Monroe, Joe Mama has no business in this ring! He needs a vacation to recover from his vacation!
Krazed manages to get up and the competitors stand toe to toe, trading shots, neither one gaining a clear advantage. Finally, Krazed drives a knee into Joe Mama's...Fat Retard: STERNUM!!!
Marcum & Monroe:
...and attempts to Irish whip him into the ropes again. But this time Joe Mama has the presence of mind to reverse it. Krazed bounces off the ropes and into a textbook Spinebuster. As Joe Mama delivers kick after kick to the prone Krazed, "Fistful Of Demons" plays and Grimm and Harleykwin come out to ringside.Monroe: It seems that Joe Mama's kinda-sorta allies want to get a close look at the action. But are they here to support, or destroy, Joe Mama?
Marcum: I dunno, Monroe, but that Harley is lookin' SUPER-FINE!!!
Krazed
(through gritted teeth, in a pained voice between kicks): So THAT'S what she looks like!
Harley takes a seat at the commentator's table as Grimm enters the ring. The ref tries to get him to leave, but Grimm shoves him aside and then walks over to Joe Mama and pulls him away from the prone Krazed. He gets the Champion's attention by slapping him across the face.Crowd:
Monroe: What's Grimm doing to Joe Mama?
...and again...Crowd:
Marcum: He's executing his plan to take out the Champ!!
...and once more, with feeling.Crowd:
Harley: Not at all, gentlemen. He's simply waking up our mutual friend. I think Krazed has had an easy enough time...
Joe Mama seems to slap out of a daze and screams, "WHAT?!?" in Grimm's face. Grimm points to Krazed, trying to get to his feet, and start whispering something in Joe Mama's ear. The look on Joe Mama's face turns from puzzlement to anger, into a full rage. He rushes at Krazed and starts driving fists into Krazed, ignoring Krazed's attempts to block the shots. Smiling, Grimm exits the ring.Monroe: My GAWD, Harleykwin! What did Grimm say to Joe Mama?
Harley: Oh, I really can't say...
Marcum: Miss Kwin, please tell us...
Harley: Well, Okay...since you called me "Miss Kwin." Grimm might have said something about this being a trick. It MIGHT be an attempt by the West Side Rollers to take advantage of Joe Mama's relaxed state to swipe the Heavyweight Cheese Title from him. And the plan COULD end up working, thanks to some collusion on King Snarf's part. And MAYBE Grimm just beat up Big Pimp Tim, who was REALLY out back waiting for the signal to rush in and help his partner...
Monroe: But...that's not true! None of it's true! Big Pimp Tim is in the hospital and King Snarf would never help those two. That's nothing but lies!
Harley: Do you think Joe Mama knows all that?
Marcum:
Joe Mama tosses Krazed at the ropes and then turns behind him, points out of the ring, and shouts "Grimm!" As Krazed bounces back, the ref rushes to where Joe Mama pointed in an attempt to cut Grimm off from further interference. This gives Joe Mama the opportunity to kneel down and deliver another low blow to Krazed, stopping him in his tracks and doubling him over again. The ref turns around just in time to see Joe Mama scoop Krazed up and hit an...Marcum: ...East Coast Hammer for the West Side Roller!
Harley: That's our boy...
Joe Mama gets the pin. Yeah Yeah Yeahs' "Phenomena" starts but Joe Mama makes a gesture to cut the music, which happens, and then motions to Harley and Grimm to join him in the ring.JM: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back from my damn vacation! And I brought some gifts with me! Ghost Hog, or Pig Failure, or whatever your calling yourself these days, I brought back some replacements for that hose-beast Heidi Schwartz so you can stop drinking yourself stupider than you are and do something to deserve the money they're wasting on you! But you're probably half passed-out, weeping with snot dribbling down your face as REO Speedwagon's "Keep On Lovin' You" plays! So that can wait until next week...
He turns to Krazed, who is leaving the ring slowly, but under his own power.JM: Krazed, you punk bitch, I may not have tossed your punk ass over the top rope, but I still brought you a gift. You got one half of your partner's ass-kicking...
He looks at the proud faces of Harleykwin and Grimm...JM: And now, if you'll all excuse me, I have to go deliver the other half. Play my music! My REAL music!!!
As Ben Harper's "Faded" plays, Joe Mama rushes out of the ring and out towards the back, leaving his two thoroughly amused allies behind to soak in the audience's cheers.Marcum: Cripes! I'd hate to be King Snarf right now!
Monroe: That's all for Havok tonight...we'll see you next...
Marcum: WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!
Monroe:
Fans, wait, we just got word something's happening in the back! Ghost Hog?! Ghost Hog is in Paragon's office???
*the cameras cut to the back as we see Ghost Hog tearing apart Paragon's office in a rage. Paragon is nowhere in sight as GH picks up his chair and tosses it through the window, breaking it in half. He sees the camera and starts towards it as we fade to black and Havok goes off the air.
