RKMBs Forums .::Robegories::. Women My girlfriend fucking dumped me...

Non, belive it or not, what you're going through is almost exactly when I went through back in '99. Long story short, we met 3 months before his divorce was finalized for a year, a couple weeks before my birthday. Our first date was my birthday, our first kiss was new years, and over the course of 6 months we flirted with the idea of getting married. Then the 7th month, he went to a week long concert fest, came back and made the move to talk about marriage seriously. The next month we went to my friends wedding, I caught the bouqet (and belive me when I say this, I so did not want to get up there, but had no choice, I'll explain later), and as we were walking out, saying our goodbys to the bride and groom, the bride hassles him by sayin "you know what this means right? you guys are next."

I so wanted to tell her to shut up for that (non threatening of course). So our last day together, on the way to church, he told me "I love you", after church, during lunch, we made plans to go to MN for the next summer, and after we went back to his place, we worked on a premarital counceling work book. He got tired, I let him take a nap while I went to the grocery store to get some stuff because I was making him dinner for his birthday (which was the next day or the day after that, don't remember) and when I came back, he was up and really quiet. I put the parishables away, sat down next to him and asked him what was wrong. He then broke up with me. I don't remebmer what was said exactly, but he did say it was him and not me and that he wanted to be friends. That he had been having doubts for some time now. It took me a while, like weeks, to find out just how long a while was and he told me a couple weeks. I did the math back and found it was that wedding. We were together for a total of 10 months and dated for 9 of those 10. We met the month before we went out on our first date.

SO, in those 2 weeks he was having doubts, he kept telling me how much he loved me, how he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me. I and everyone else thought it was jut a matter of time before he proposed. That's how serious things were between us. But apparently not. Well, never having been in a relationship before, and to be honest, I wanted him to really understand how much he hurt me, I would call him up, try to talk to him (mainly because he wasn't allowing me closure, he left a lot unsaid that I needed resolved) but all he did was push me away. So over the next couple months I would call him up, leave him messages on his machine, email him. I was hurt, upset, depressed, and I took my hurt out on him. I said things to him I'm not proud of, nor am I proud of my actions either. it took me about a year to deal with the break up, I was depressed for months. In 2001, I was upset about something that happened to me, a good friend of mine sent me an email after seeing me post that something what bothering me, but I didn't want to talk about it online, saying he'd be home at whatever time to call him if I wanted to talk. So I did and we talked for over 2 hours, long distance, and we talked about what was bothering me, and he asked me what happened between me and my ex. He knew I had an exboyfriend, but I never went into detail about the relationship/breakup. So in talking to him, he said something I kind of knew when my ex and I were together, but I ignored it, and that was that my ex and I didn't have much in common.

So you see, I know exactly what you're going through. I was still in love with my ex, and I loved his kids also. But my advice to you is not to call her. As hard as it is, and believe me, I know how hard that is, you need to walk away from her and don't even think about being friends. Once you've been that close to somone (whether you had sex with them or not, as was the case with me) you can't be friends with them. There's too much history there for you to be just friends. Because the danger with that is, say that person comes back into your life after you get married, then they want to hang out with you and not your spouce, then youre in for some trouble because she could try and pick up where you guys were before the break up. Somthing like that happened to one of the pastor's at my church.

What will help is to go out with friends, not talk about your ex or the relationship. Give it time. I'll spare you what I was about to say because although it's true, speaking from experience, I know you don't want to hear it right about now.