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Now, I pride myself at my ability to stand even the worst of cinematic drivel.... Anyone who knows me knows that I take this to extremes. I subjected bsams and some friends one night to "The Phantom Empire" with Gene Autry one night (big goofy cowoy robots and singing cowboys), and then he tries to torture me with "Flesh Gordon 2: Attack of the Cosmic Cheerleaders"...let's just say I was the last man standing that night. But...there is some stuff out there that's just too fucking bizarre and absurd that I won't even own in my huge collection of schlock, cheap exploitation crap, and low budget wonders (600+ VHS and 250+ DVD strong and growing).. Here's some examples:  Bad! Bad! G'Way! I liked the first film, it actually surprised me...but the sequel. Fucking terrible.  I actually travelled about 70 miles and spent 8 bucks to see this piece of crap during it's theatrical run...I really love the first film, but IMO....there should only be one. I even went out and bought the "Renegade Version", the re-editted...thing...that's on DVD, and it's basically a butcher job of a film that was already fucking bad.  the most evil movie on Earth....me and some friends caught this cinematic gem during it's theatrical run....and left 3/4th of the way thru. That's the only time I've left a movie in my life. Stay away from it like the plague....trust me.
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I couldn't remember any so i Looked randomly and found one... 
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 The first one is great the second one was ok but this one stinks!  Same thing, first ones okay, this one is pure nonesense
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Yeah, I pride myself on being able to handle schlock pretty well. I've been known to sit through movies that I don't like just outta curiousity, boredom, or to have something to bitch about later on. I agree that the original Highlander was the only one worth a damn. I had no problems with them making sequels, but you think somebody would have been smart enough to realize that the character had 400 friggin' years of backstory that could be explored. Instead, we get that immortals are ALIENS ![[eh?]](images/icons/confused.gif) . So far, the only movie thing that has ever truely tested my limits was a bootleg my bud bought at a convention. It was the Star Wars Holiday Special air only once back in like '77 or '78. In a time when VCR's were just starting up, somebody threw a tape in their expensive machine and taped it. I dare say that we received more enjoyment from the comercials than the program itself. Right now I can't even go into the badness of it without getting sick to my stomache. I might give some of the horrible details after I get some Pepto or something.
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I feel your pain, my friend, for I as well own a bootleg of the Christmas Special. The only rational reason I can think of for this purchase was to have a copy of the Boba Fett cartoon sequence....
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Ah, yes. The Boba Fett cartoon. It was the first place that character was ever seen. The sad thing is, even the cartoon sucked. I'm still trying to get over the fact that Chewy's son and dad were named Lumpy and Itchy Bacca. ![[no no no]](graemlins/nono.gif) It was sad seeing them try to pull off a Star Wars show with a TV budget. The Falcon had to be cut down to a two seater. The "high-tech" gadgetry was old cassette tapes and those electric science project thing where you hooked up wire between springs and you could make a radio and such from them. As I said before, we had more fun watching the commercials than the show. And wasn't it Starship who did a musical number on that thing. Gob it was aweful.
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God, I've seen so many bad movies I can't even begin to name them all.....
Just about any horror movie ever(with a few notable exceptions), I think far and away the genre that's produced the most pure crapfests is this one, mainly because with every popular(and semi popular) movie comes 5-10 absurd sequels. Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Leprichaun, Wishmaster, Prophecy, Night of the Living Dead, Children of the Corn, Halloween, Exorcist, Poltergeist, etc. etc. etc.
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I agree with your comment about the Highlander movies, HEROKILLER, too bad movie execs weren't paying attention when Christopher Lambert said "there can only be one".
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Ok, after thinking about it really long, I think I've come up with the worst movie ever. I'm serious, infact, I'm almost willing to bet that this movie can beat out just about any other bad movie in a bad movie contest. It's just that bad. Tammy and the T-RexI had the extreme displeasure of watching this movie on TBS, and by the end it was so bad I couldn't even laugh at it anymore, I had so far passed that stage it was impossible. Here's the plot synopsis from IMDB: "An evil scientist implants the brain of Michael, a murdered high school student, in an animatronic Tyrannosaurus. He escapes, wreaks vengeance on his high school tormentors and is reunited with his sweetheart Tammy. Together, the couple try to elude the mad scientist and the police and find a more appropriate vessel for Michael's brain." Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. The only possible redeeming factor I can think of is that Denise Richards(a very young Denise Richards, as this is way before she got major roles in any big movie) is the lead female. If that's enough to keep you going through this one, you're stronger than I.
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Herokilller you earned your fate when you EVEN went to see Weekend at Bernie's II and wouldnt even rent the first one I caught part of it at a friends house and left the room!
C'mon guys BEA ARTHUR was in that Star Wars Christmas Special!
Butter Jack Frost was a riot!
Phantom Menace and Batman Forever go down on mylist for worst however being a Batman completist I did pick up the VHS.
Armageddeon was another overrated piece of crap..waaaay too long. Why is it movies feel they need to be three hours long to prove a point?!? Rarely have I seen a movie over two hours that didnt have about an hour excess baggage!
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 whatever happend to the non-brooding vampire movie? and don't mention that carpenter farce, as i'm sick of the, if they bite you, you become one instantly, or slowly. if thats true in the movie, then why isn't the worl intirely populated with vamps? titanic(cant find a usebal image, so the recent one with leo) disaster movies are ok, but 3 hours? wtf??? and to increase the torture, put a love story in there. i wanna see dead frozen bodies floating in the atlantic, not 2 mrons getting it on. [ 09-29-2002, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: dsoley ]
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quote:
Originally posted by dsoley:
whatever happend to the non-brooding vampire movie? and don't mention that carpenter farce, as i'm sick of the, if they bite you, you become one instantly, or slowly. if thats true in the movie, then why isn't the worl intirely populated with vamps?
titanic(cant find a usebal image, so the recent one with leo)
disaster movies are ok, but 3 hours? wtf??? and to increase the torture, put a love story in there. i wanna see dead frozen bodies floating in the atlantic, not 2 mrons getting it on.
I like queen of the damned, is not as good as interview with the vampire put the soundtrack rawks! and in this movie (based of Ann Rice's vampire chronicles) you cant turn into a vampire just by being biten, you have to drink vampire blood to become one, that's why the world is not populated by them.
I like titanic too all tho it is excruciatingly long.
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 Rat race was the worst movie ive ever seen. i usually dont hate movies but wow this was so horrible. i would have left but i was with a friend who actually liked it. it hada really dumb cast inlcuding Jon Lovitz who is the most annoying actor ever. they did this whole thing about transporting a heart to this person who needed it and they ended up dropping it in the woods and it was disgusting. I dont even remember the whole story because half the time i was playing with my cell phone.
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quote:
Originally posted by THE Franta:
Herokilller you earned your fate when you EVEN went to see Weekend at Bernie's II and wouldnt even rent the first one I caught part of it at a friends house and left the room!
I was taking prescibed medication....um ,well, it wasn't prescribed to me, but I will not incriminate myself,...when I bought tickets to see the fuckin' thing....so I like to blame 1.) youth, 2.)stupidity, and 3.) society.
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#9106
2002-09-29 10:46 PM
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blame it on the rain
yeah
yeah
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I really have to say Austin Powers was just stupid!!!!
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...but it was a funny kind of stupid.
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quote:
Originally posted by THE Franta:
Butter Jack Frost was a riot!
well is the kinda movie I like to watch just to make fun of it. Such as:
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Leprichaun 5(in the hood), was hillarious. I was in tears at the end when he starts rapping.
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#9111
2002-10-01 12:21 AM
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I love watching schlock movies.... especially making fun of them. I sat through all of Leprecaun 4: In Space... heh. Awful. My favorite is Plan 9 From Outer Space... I own the DVD! "You stupid, stupid humans!" quote:
Animalman: Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Leprichaun, Wishmaster, Prophecy, Night of the Living Dead, Children of the Corn, Halloween, Exorcist, Poltergeist, etc. etc. etc.
Night of the Living dead wasn't beaten to death with sequels. There was just Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (which I hear is very good), Day of the Dead (which I hear is crap), and the remake of Night of the Living Dead. The remake isn't great: much of the movie is spent hammering boards onto windows and doors.
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actually, bloodbath at the house of death is a great send up of horror movies, plus, it stars vincent price. better than scary movie ever could be ![[cool]](images/icons/cool.gif)
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A friend of mine bought the Night of the Living Dead 30th Anv. DVD. Apparently it was done by a bunch of the guys who worked on the original, EXCEPT Romero. They added new music and shot new scenes. They got the guy who played the first zombie in the cemetary to reprise his role. In their commentary they talk about how everything looks like it was shot at the same time as the original even though their zombie is clearly 30 yrs. older and a good bit chunckier.
They also added scenes of a guy playing a priest who is bitten by a zombie but doesn't turn. The end shows him talking to a reporter and making it look as if he had told the tale of the movie. He's got a little dog in his lap and says that the government makes him carry it everywhere. If he turns, he'll go for the dog's brains first giving nearby people time to get away. My bud said just the couple of minutes that they added to the film destroyed it.
Oh. And Dawn of the Dead is a damn good movie. You should check it out.
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I have the VHS of that 30th anniversary edition.....god that was just a butcher job. As for Plan 9 , I've got both the Image DVD release, which is excellent, nice crisp transfer, as well as a really interesting documentary, Flying Saucers Over Hollywood Image DVD  I also have the Passport Video DVD, which isn't as good, but is loaded with some great interviews with some of Ed Wood's friends and associates- Passport Video DVD  [ 10-01-2002, 12:16 AM: Message edited by: HEROKILLER ]
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My Girl 2. Absolutely horrid. Went to it with the girlfriend and her mother, and her mother ![[AAAHHHH!!!]](graemlins/aahhh.gif) gets up about 3/4 the way through screaming, "What the hell IS this shit?" in a full and quiet theatre. [ 10-01-2002, 04:09 AM: Message edited by: KrazyXXXDJ ]
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My ex-wife drug me to see "Titanic".....
During the end, when Leonardo drowns, I stood up and start singing to the tune of that crappy Celine Dion song, but used my own words, something to the extent:
"Oh, boo hooooooooo....Leo's drowning. Now I'm an old lady now, and I'm decrepit..."
My little improv number got several ackward glances from the other people in the theatre, and my ex didn't speak to me for about three days....so it all worked out just fine!
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That Gob-aweful American Godzilla movie. My friend Jody and I went to see it one night after we got offa work. I couldn't believe how horrible it was. Not only was there no tangable plot, the lizard kept changing in size, but when the cars were bouncing from it's footsteps, all the folks standing on the ground didn't budge.
The whole eggs in Madison Square Garden was the icing on the cake. I turned to Jody and said, "We're watching Jurrasic Park 3 ." I remembered that we booed the credits. I think some others joined in.
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I'm a longtime Godzilla fan, and I had high hopes for the American version, but completely dislike the "Tristar Travesty".
It's a good sci-fi action flick, but they coulda called it "Big Lizard Lays Waste to the Place" and I woulda probably enjoyed more than giving it the Godzilla tag. They diverged way too far away from the design of the "Toho Titan" for my taste....
Now Godzilla 2000....I absolutely loved. If ya get a chance to see the original Japanese cut of the film, you'll see how much they butchered it here in the States, but still a good effort....
[ 10-02-2002, 01:25 AM: Message edited by: HEROKILLER ]
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See, I actually didn't mind the American version(let me explain!).
Yeah, they had a "few" size issues, but I liked what they did with the thing. They made it a seriously monstrous villain again, it wasn't as much of a joke as it was before(though I loved the movies, don't get me wrong). I think the major problem was doing the whole Jurassic Park thing in Madison Square Garden, especially with the ridiculous exit from the arena(shoot the shandeliers and they'll all run away!). I definitely think there were merits to the movie:
-the Siskel/Ebert Prez/Vice Prez bit
-the way they didn't show you the whole monster until the climax
-the explanation for how Godzilla was born, I'm sorry, but having it be a side effect of the nuclear testing during the 40s made ALOT more sense(and was just cooler) than it being a million year old Dinosaur trapped in an iceberg
-as I said before, the destruction and devestation it caused and the way it was done, it made it seem alot more serious and imposing as a villain than just having a guy in a green barney suit trample lego buildings
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#9120
2002-10-03 12:10 AM
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I thought Godzilla was a result of the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Maybe the Dinosaur in the iceberg was from the crappy 70s revamp, where the movies were kinder and gentler?
I got the Image Plan 9 DVD... that documentary, though informative, was atrociously made.
How was Godzilla 2000 butchered in the States? Not that I'm disagreeing... that dialogue was crap ("It'll go through him like crap through a goose!").
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#9121
2002-10-03 12:43 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kimi:
I really have to say Austin Powers was just stupid!!!!
ABSOLUTELY!!!
quote:
Originally posted by The Goddess ButterRican:
...but it was a funny kind of stupid.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
The kids at work watched it last weekend and I thought well I'll give another go....Im sorry I did its p[lain unfunny I never even cracked a smile at ANY of the alleged jokes.
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#9122
2002-10-03 12:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by The Goddess ButterRican:
quote:
Originally posted by THE Franta:
Butter Jack Frost was a riot!
well is the kinda movie I like to watch just to make fun of it. Such as:
NOW YOU'RE TALKING!!!
I watch Leprachaun every St Patrick's!
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#9123
2002-10-03 12:46 AM
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The original Godzilla movie had nuclear blasts mutate and hatch an old dinosaur egg, if I 'member correctly. It was actually really good (the original Japanese one, not the American release with Ramon Burr added). The first story was really about the evil of nuclear bombs and how they effect the world at large. The producers for the American made one admitted that they used the same essential basis for their film. They just decided to go with an iguana that had growth spurts and shrank in the wash repeatidly.
The US one was in development hell for years before those jackasses latched onto the project. In '93 the original director was let go from the film because he wanted to make Godzilla all CGI and, at that time, it would have cost too much. The script had Godzilla terrorizing Tokyo, coming across the Pacific, landing in LA, and then tearing ass across the US all the way to DC then New York. That one might have been bad ass, especially since the original concept was to not try and retell the creature's origin.
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#9124
2002-10-03 11:31 PM
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Wow! That does sound badass! I'd have rather seen that than that creap we got instead.
Who was going to direct it?
[ 10-03-2002, 08:36 PM: Message edited by: Disco Steve ]
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#9125
2002-10-04 12:45 AM
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I can't remember who it was. It was quite some time ago. I just remember reading the article about how the director was cut loose from the project because of his CGI idea. I believe it might have been an old Wizard magazine. Not sure.
I pretty much forgot about the whole thing until I started seeing trailers for the movie. Then, after seeing the movie, I suddenly remembered the original script idea. I guess it was one of those wishful think sort of things.
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