RKMBs Forums .::Important::. Fortress of Awesome Chat So What'd I Miss?

Back from closing on m'house and moving in. So I'm back and boyoboy am I glad that the Insurgency has yet to succeed in its devious pland to destroy these boards and run everyone off ( ). But I noticed a ton of new threads, most of which were either started or bumped by Insurgents (thanks for the traffic, folks!), so I started sifting through - y'know, playing catch-up. A daunting task, but here's what I noticed:

1) Tommy has changed his name from the virtually meaningless "Halo82" to the much more suitable "Wank and Cry." He's also taken to posting chapters of his favorite Victorian erotic novel - I skimmed a chapter but lost interest when no mention of a "dripping cunny" was mentioned. He's started threads that range from complaining about board members being idiots and whatnot to having meltdowns, most notably at First Among Daves. Also, Tommy seems to be a lying, cowardly deserter.

2) Captain Zzap continues to stalk Rex all over the boards while starting threads with regular updates of his stalking. I'm not one to judge, but that seems a little creepy...and gay.

3) Killer came back. No one seems to care.

4) Bionic Redneck continues his raid tactic of sucking everyone's ass and screaming "you're so hardcore!" I'd assume that he's being sarcastic, but internet posts don't allow one to gauge tone or intent, and I don't like assuming. So he must be serious in his desire to be our acolyte, right?

5) I noticed that whomod has ventured out of the Politics Forum. He must be feeling brave now that the "raid" involves more Insurgents than just him, Tommy, and their respective alts. Is his daughter still a bone of contention, or has the Insurgency finally given up on that weak justification and just admitted that they're "raiding" because they're bored at their own message board and came here because we actually have fun here?

6) Traffic here has become insane. Rob must be very happy. I saw the thread he started where he likened the Insurgents to the Bush Administration - that made me laugh - while simultaneously owning every Insurgent AND welcoming their assimilation to continue, which it has. Good job, Rob.

7) The HipCat identified him/herself as an Insurgent while simultaneously distancing him/herself from their shenanigans, malarky, and mischief. Hi, HipCat. Welcome to the boards.

8) PullOutSki hasn't been seen around, having had a meltdown that no cared who s/he secretly is/was. And, still, no one cares.

9) The Insurgency Forum is now open to everyone, though no one seems to care. Prometheus was accused of lurking about under an old ID. Much like accustions of his 1337 hacking skillz, this accusation was laughably false. I was the lurker - pay me and I'll tell you how I did it.

10) A poster named Mochahontas has joined. She seems to have ties to Sammitch. If the picture is to be believed, she's a bit of a tasty dish. Could I have some kind of confirmation here? Hi Mochahontas. Welcome to the boards.

So that's what I gathered. Can I get confirmations? More info? Did I miss any hilarity. Did more hilarity ensue? Thank you all - Insurgent and RKMBer alike - for your time.

Sincerely,

Joseph T. Mother

PS: