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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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Posts: 14,203 |
I know I joke around here alot, and some of you have grown to hate me and my all too wacky posts. But I wanted to share this depressing news with everyone.
For those of you who don't know, I am a recovering alcoholic. Unfortunately I didn't stop drinking in time to save my liver. not being a rich man, I could never get high enough on the donor transplant lists to make any sort of difference.
Today I got my most recent medical tests back. I didn't open them till now because I was, well, afraid.
I sat alone here most of the night crying into my glass of seltzer water staring at the envelope. My hand shaking, the fear was too much to overcome.
Finally, at 4am my time, I took a shot of courage from my old friend Jack and opened the envelope. My liver has completely shut down. The best case prognosis is two weeks, maybe three if I take it easy.
Bow ties are coool.
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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my fake medical news gets nothing.
I could pretend die, people!
Bow ties are coool.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 32,001 Likes: 1
We already are 15000+ posts
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We already are 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 32,001 Likes: 1 |
I'll miss you......I don't hate you......but I will have to find someone else to get my sodas and beers. When you die you will be immortalized in my sig.
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Banned from the DCMBs since 2002. 15000+ posts
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Quote:
JLA's real name is Paul Mandral and he was mentioned in Rob's blog.
Cool. Although I'm amazed anyone reads that thing.
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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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The Once, and Future Cunt 15000+ posts
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Quote:
r3x29yz4a said:
I know I joke around here alot, and some of you have grown to hate me and my all too wacky posts. But I wanted to share this depressing news with everyone.
For those of you who don't know, I am a recovering alcoholic. Unfortunately I didn't stop drinking in time to save my liver. not being a rich man, I could never get high enough on the donor transplant lists to make any sort of difference.
Today I got my most recent medical tests back. I didn't open them till now because I was, well, afraid.
I sat alone here most of the night crying into my glass of seltzer water staring at the envelope. My hand shaking, the fear was too much to overcome.
Finally, at 4am my time, I took a shot of courage from my old friend Jack and opened the envelope. My liver has completely shut down. The best case prognosis is two weeks, maybe three if I take it easy.
Tell them you can't pay. They'll give you another two weeks.
Ba dump da!
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The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
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The Swizzler.... 6000+ posts
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Awwwwww and I was actually taking this thread seriously and feeling super bad until I saw the "fake news" comment.
For real though it really makes you think, doesn't it? I mean what would you do if you only had a da yor so to live? hrms.....
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Posts: 10,873 Likes: 14 |
Of course it was fake. If you were dying of liver failure your ass would be in the hospital, suffering from an increase in ammonia developed by your kidneys. You'd probably wouldn't even remember what was going on due to the effect to your brain, and you'd probably go into a coma before you actually die.
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Quote:
r3x29yz4a said:
I could pretend die, people!
Do it. No bodies stopping you.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Joined: May 2003
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Doog the MIGHTY 10000+ posts
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Maybe he's shy? lets all turn around to give him some privacy.
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Plus they wouldn't tell you you were dying in a letter...and if I was dying..I don't think I'd spend my final two weeks on the kampy boards...
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10000+ posts
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Quote:
First Amongst Daves said:
Quote:
JLA's real name is Paul Mandral and he was mentioned in Rob's blog.
Cool. Although I'm amazed anyone reads that thing.
RKMB sucker of the week award goes to...
MisterJLA is RACKing awesome.
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Nah,you'd spend it on Quesadas boards trying to proposition Gail Simone,using the old "I'll be dead in two weeks,and you have to grant me a final wish" ploy to get her in the sack!
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Living the dream 15000+ posts
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This thread belongs in the "don't joke around about stuff like this" forum.
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希望の戦士 2000+ posts
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希望の戦士 2000+ posts
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"The Boy Who Cried Wolf" comes to mind.
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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OP
1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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Quote:
Jeremy said:
This thread belongs in the "don't joke around about stuff like this" forum.
its not a joke, its a deception.
Bow ties are coool.
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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1 Millionth Customer 10000+ posts
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Posts: 14,203 |
Quote:
Nowhereman said:
Nah,you'd spend it on Quesadas boards trying to proposition Gail Simone,using the old "I'll be dead in two weeks,and you have to grant me a final wish" ploy to get her in the sack!
the trick is a bottle of Spanish Fly and a post complimenting her work.
Bow ties are coool.
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1000+ posts
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Quote:
McGurk said:
"The Boy Who Cried Wolf" comes to mind.
Never really understood the moral of that story... Some little shit lies to everyone, they fall for it multiple times and when he finally does tell the truth no one will believe him. All their sheep get eaten while absolutely nothing happens to him. Who's really losing there?
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Nowhereman said:
Nah,you'd spend it on Quesadas boards trying to proposition Gail Simone,using the old "I'll be dead in two weeks,and you have to grant me a final wish" ploy to get her in the sack!
I think that was directed at me....if so that was pretty funny..
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Kisser Of John Byrne Ass 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Hybrid said:
Quote:
McGurk said:
"The Boy Who Cried Wolf" comes to mind.
Never really understood the moral of that story... Some little shit lies to everyone, they fall for it multiple times and when he finally does tell the truth no one will believe him. All their sheep get eaten while absolutely nothing happens to him. Who's really losing there?
isn't that the sanitized version?
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Why isn't this thread in the stupid as shit forum?
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Ooo! Does he get eaten in the unsanitized version?
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Quote:
Ch'ps Ahoy said:
Why isn't this thread in the stupid as shit forum?
Hi Uschi
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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Quote:
Hybrid said:
Quote:
McGurk said:
"The Boy Who Cried Wolf" comes to mind.
Never really understood the moral of that story... Some little shit lies to everyone, they fall for it multiple times and when he finally does tell the truth no one will believe him. All their sheep get eaten while absolutely nothing happens to him. Who's really losing there?
In the end of the story the boy is eaten by wolves because the townspeople refuse to respond to his cries any longer. Does that help?
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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I think its a very important lesson that a lot of people missed out on.
for example, their are several posters here that are always bitching about bush, clinton, conservatives, and liberals. When you are always whining and moaning about something, you lose all credibility. Then when a valid story comes along and one of those posters start a thread about it, nobody cares.
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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500+ posts
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Rex.
I think it's time you moved out of your sisters basement.
The nephews are starting to wonder about their creepy loner uncle.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. --Will Rogers
"I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees." - George W. Bush
I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would .. try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile. - Condoleeza Rice
Barbara Bush: It's Good Enough for the Poor
To comfort the powerless and make the powerful uncomfortable.
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They can hear you when you're whacking off, y'know.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. --Will Rogers
"I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees." - George W. Bush
I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would .. try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile. - Condoleeza Rice
Barbara Bush: It's Good Enough for the Poor
To comfort the powerless and make the powerful uncomfortable.
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Officially "too old for this shit" 15000+ posts
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Officially "too old for this shit" 15000+ posts
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Quote:
r3x29yz4a said:
my fake medical news
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Hip To Be Square 15000+ posts
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Posts: 47,824 Likes: 8 |
Quote:
Pig Iron said:
Quote:
Nowhereman said:
Nah,you'd spend it on Quesadas boards trying to proposition Gail Simone,using the old "I'll be dead in two weeks,and you have to grant me a final wish" ploy to get her in the sack!
I think that was directed at me....if so that was pretty funny..
Yes,it was!
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The alt 15000+ posts
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The alt 15000+ posts
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"The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power
if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off."
—George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
"When a drug comes in from Canada, I wanna make sure it cures ya, not kill ya... I've
got an obligation to make sure our government does everything we can to protect you. And
one — my worry is that it looks like it's from Canada, and it might be from a third world."
—George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
"We all thought there was weapons there, Robin. My opponent thought there was weapons
there." —George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
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"If you're a younger person, you ought to be asking members of Congress and the United
States Senate and the president what you intend to do about it. If you see a train wreck
coming, you ought to be saying, what are you going to do about it, Mr. Congressman, or
Madam Congressman?" —George W. Bush, Detroit, Mich., Feb. 8, 2005
"As you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's — ever since the
late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other
words, there's no sanctions — you can't — we're out of sanctions."
—George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Posts: 46,308 |
November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Posts: 33,920
devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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devil-lovin' Bat-Man 15000+ posts
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These have been the longest two weeks of my life.
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my fake medical news gets nothing.
I could pretend die, people! lmk when it's for real.
State Is Murder.
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Posts: 10,539
I'm just sayin' 10000+ posts
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I'm just sayin' 10000+ posts
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He'll have to create a Ray's Ghost alt first,but I'm sure he'll let you know.
It's a dog eat dog world & I'm wearing milkbone underwear.
I can get you a toe.
1,999,999+ points.
Damn you and your lemonade!!
Booooooooooooooobs.
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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brother from another mother 15000+ posts
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Awwwwww and I was actually taking this thread seriously and feeling super bad until I saw the "fake news" comment.
For real though it really makes you think, doesn't it? I mean what would you do if you only had a da yor so to live? hrms..... With my kidneys in the condition they are in, I already thought about it. I know what I'm gonna do and who I'm gonna do it to. It should make the news.
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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living in 1962 15000+ posts
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say goodbye, Brian Jonopolous!
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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Who will I break next? 15000+ posts
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November 6th, 2012: Americas new Independence Day.
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Posts: 24,593
Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Timelord. Drunkard. 15000+ posts
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Posts: 24,593 |
That 'Lothar of the Hill People's daughter' alt crossed the line.
whomod said: I generally don't like it when people decide to play by the rules against people who don't play by the rules. It tends to put you immediately at a disadvantage and IMO is a sign of true weakness. This is true both in politics and on the internet." Our Friendly Neighborhood Ray-man said: "no, the doctor's right. besides, he has seniority."
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We already are 15000+ posts
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We already are 15000+ posts
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 32,001 Likes: 1 |
I know I joke around here alot, and some of you have grown to hate me and my all too wacky posts. But I wanted to share this depressing news with everyone.
For those of you who don't know, I am a recovering alcoholic. Unfortunately I didn't stop drinking in time to save my liver. not being a rich man, I could never get high enough on the donor transplant lists to make any sort of difference.
Today I got my most recent medical tests back. I didn't open them till now because I was, well, afraid.
I sat alone here most of the night crying into my glass of seltzer water staring at the envelope. My hand shaking, the fear was too much to overcome.
Finally, at 4am my time, I took a shot of courage from my old friend Jack and opened the envelope. My liver has completely shut down. The best case prognosis is two weeks, maybe three if I take it easy.
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